


Broken

by MyssieB9



Category: Chicago Fire, Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Alpha Kelly Severide, Alpha/Omega, Angst, Broken Promises, Character Bleed, Forgive Me, Freeform, Humiliation, Hurt Matthew Casey, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Mpreg, Omega Matthew Casey, Past Abuse, Self-Esteem Issues, Vaginal Fingering, Violence, abandoned, alpha Hank Voight, intersex Matthew Casey, not so good english
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-01-05 20:36:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 36
Words: 64,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21214706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyssieB9/pseuds/MyssieB9
Summary: Casey is drunk and lonely...





	1. Take me back to the night we met

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, not sorry...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I've been searching for a trail to follow again  
Take me back to the night we met  
And then I can tell myself  
What the hell I'm supposed to do  
And then I can tell myself  
Not to ride along with you"

THE NIGHT WE MET...

Casey's slurred voice says how much he has already drunk this night, however, but he still raises an glass and drinks more. Gesturing nonstop, he tries to keep his line of reasoning in this confuse conversation.

"I love Chicago, I love ... This cold damn city, I love all this icy shit." He opens his arms and points to surrounding. "I love these drunk motherfuckers too!" The gesture catches attention of some men around, he laughs. "I love you, guys... I really do... " He says but the drunk laugh is gone now. "Kelly Severide, you lnow...? I love that asshole too..."

A cold hand grasps his and tries to push the whisky glass away from his lips. "Who's Kelly Severide?" The man asks.

"He's the fucking dumbest alpha in the whole world, that's what he is. He hates me ... And I just wish things were different between us." He shrugs. "Be friends, maybe..."

"So, do you love him, Lieutenant?" The man asks again.

"No, I don't ... It's not that simple ... He never looked at me like that, not even a second time, he thinks I'm disgusting ..." Casey is about to start crying. "I'm an 'omega shit' ..."

"Is that why you're drunk in this bar full of alphas, Lieutenant Casey? Looking for throuble tonight?"

"I don't know ... I don't know what I'm doing here, I don't know who you are either." He blinks quickly trying to recognize the man in front of him. "I don't know your name, alpha."

A dangerous smile crosses the man's lips. "I am the man you shameless flirted with at the counter."

"You got me wrong, I don't flirt, I'm not like that. I just offered you a drink and you accepted ..." Casey scratches his head, visibly altered. "I suck at this. I suck ..."

"You shouldn't be drinking that much." The alpha recommended, but Casey is too far away to understand.

Casey's huge blue eyes look at the man for a moment, trying to remember his name. "Hank ... is that your name?" He says it slowly. "You said you're a cop, right?"

"Yes I am."

"So you are a hero, Hank?"

Hank smiles, Casey couldn't be more wrong about him. "No, I'm not a hero, not in the way you think."

"You protect people, that's what heroes do, that's what I think ..." Casey says, his voice coiled by the alcohol.

"Heroes don't get drunk after a bad day, Casey."

Casey reflects on it, as if it were really something to think about. "Maybe, if they're tired and in need of relief, you know ... Maybe Getting drunk can solve the loneliness after saving the world from an big threat."

Hank wants to tell him that most days he is the big threat, but he doesn't. "Is that why you are here? Looking for relief, Lieutenant?"

"No, I have nowhere to go and... I had no one to talk to."

"And where is your Kelly Severide now?"

"He's not mine ... Never been, and now that Andy's gone..."

"And who is Andy?" Hank tries to assemble the confused pieces.

"My friend Andy, he died a couple of days ago. He used to drink, but he never got drunk, he was good..." Casey replies evasively. "I killed him, I guess ..."

"Is that a confession or what?"

"I'm a firefighter, a lieutenant, I was, I don't know, but I couldn't save my friend and now he's dead. Everyone was there, on the roof, Kelly was there, he blames me for what happened and ...He's right, I'm a hell guilty, Hank."

"I think you've had enough, Lieutenant." The man tries to push the whiskey glass out of his hands again.

"I'm a lieutenant, did you hear that? Don't look at me like I'm one of you ...I'm not a drunk... That's not what i'm!"

"No you ain't like us, now come on, let's go out of here." Hank helps him to stand on his feet.

"And why are you here, officer?" Casey leave his drink on the table. "Need relief or just a drunk like the others?"

"Both. I'll get a cab for you."

"I don't wanna... my house is empty and, can I stay with you tonight, Hank?" Casey can barely stand up on his own, Hank tries to get him out the bar but the omega refuses to go. "We can relieve ourselves, you know, both of us..."

"And your 'Kelly'?"

"Pfff, he hates me. God, how he hates me! Do you find me bad too? I don't care if you keep your eyes closed, I just want ... I just need someone tonight, don't leave me alone, Hank. "

Hank thinks for a minute, he can't leave this drunk omega alone, also doesn't want to risk taking him home, he would never hurt an omega, but he is drunk, he doesn't want to regret in the morning.

Casey is a handsome man, and Hank is not the youngest alpha in this bar, he is confused to see the young omega begging for his company that way.

Suddenly Casey leans against him and murmurs in his ear; "I'm all wet here for you, alpha."

"Are you flirting now?" Hank mutters back, he drank enough to get drunk, but his body seems to be harder than Casey's.

Casey laughs out loud, attracting the attention of others again. Omegas usually mean trouble, promiscuous sluts and emotional vampires, Hank hates that.

"It's just sex, a little action ... Are you sick of omegas too, alpha? I can go back there, and find someone to, you know, help me with this sticky shit."

All of Hank's self-control, if any remains after six shots of whiskey, goes down the drain.

_"When the night was full of terrors_   
_And your eyes were filled with tears_   
_When you had not touched me yet"_

He tried to relieve in the alley behind the bar, Casey didn't disagree, dizzy by the alcohol in his blood, he just tried to unzip Voight's pants and hold his dick, but he did it abruptly and ended up squeezing it unintentionally;

"S'orry..." Casey's red lips murmur, he is resting his full weight on the alpha, Hank shoves his hand inside Casey's pants and without much tact, he slides behind his penis and finds the omega entrance completely wet. Casey smiles like a mess child, his face flushed. "I said it was wet, Hank..."

He tries to kiss Voight, but Hank pulls him away, he doesn't want to kiss, abruptly he turns Casey facing the wall, wasting no time, he slides two fingers inside him making Casey squirm and moan, with his free hand Hank it covers the omega's mouth and digs the fingers deeper inside him.

Casey tries to spread his legs wider, his chest pressed against the back wall of the bar, his jeans almost on his thighs while Hank punches his fingers deeper and deeper inside him.

"Do you have condoms, Hank?" He mumbles.

Hank doesn't have any condom, he didn't go looking for it, finding a needy and drunk omega was not in his plans tonight, so he will use only his fingers.

Casey doesn't seem to care, so he goes on.

"You're a mess down here, boy!" Hank mutters hoarsely, Casey just smiles. "How long has it been since nobody fucked you, huh boy?"

There is no answer, just a sharp breath from Casey. 

It's cold and his face is being rubbed against the wall, he tries to turn away, but Hank forces him to stay on his back again. The boy is so desperate for some contact that he doesn't mind giving up dignity at this point.

Casey smells peculiar, not so delicate as a woman's, but is not that bad either, just masculine, it annoys Hank, but not to the point of pushing him away yet.

"Are you in heat, Lieutenant?"

"No, no ... No heat in years ..."

Hank has never had a male omega before, but there are no secrets here, omegas likes that way, right? Like Casey's said; just some action.

Hank's dick buzzes for attention, but he's not crazy enough yet to try to fuck this omega here on the street, it's just fun, no one has to complicate itself. But then Casey mutters something and Hank tries to hear it.

"What?"

"It hurts..." The drunken smile disappeared from the omega's face, he grabbed Hank's wrist trying to slow the fingers inside him. "Slow down, Hank ..." Hank walks away, Casey is red and panting. 

He doesn't usually bring people to his home, this place is sacred to him, even after so long since Camille's death, he still can't do that.

Without further explanation, he brings the lieutenant here without trying to think about it too much.

Hank locked the door behind him and took off his coat, the omega smell's still on his fingers, Casey looks around, but he really doesn't seem to see anything, he still has his pants open, Hank thinks it's funny.

"I still want ... If you want me too, Hank..."

"I think you better sleep, you're out of your mind, Lieutenant ..."

"I want to finish this ... Hank ..." He says taking off his pants over there in the living room at Hank's house.

"Casey ..." Hank shouldn't have brought him here.

"Matt, call me Matt, I'm fine, I swear. I just want to ... Please, alpha ..."

Hank doesn't know how old this omega is, 35 or 36 maybe, he don't know, certainly not an inexperienced virgin, he's thin, soft and handsome, Hank can't deny that, it was one of the reasons he agreed to drink with him.

He is an old school alpha, he never got involved with same sex omegas before, never made sense for him to be with one. He wonders what he is doing right now.

Casey extends his arms, he has some ugly scars on his white skin, possibly because of his work, he tries to touch Hank's face but gives up halfway. He's not sure if can do it.

Before Hank comes to terms with himself, Casey is naked in front of him and waiting to be touched.

The alpha roars in Voight's chest and he steps forward, grabbing Casey by the waist and dragging him over to the couch.

Casey tries to kiss him again but Hank pulls him away, and then the omega's blue eyes get wet, he'd been rejected that way before. He's been through this before, and a strange feeling of pity comes over Hank, so he leans over and kisses the omega's lips.

An awkward and very moist kiss, he hasn't kissed someone in years. He tries to turn the omega on his back, but Casey resists.

"I want to see your face ... Can I see your face while you do this to me, Hank?" He opens his legs and wraps them around Hank's hips, ready to receive him, the omega penis is hard, it's small, and Hank ignores it like hell, concentrating only on the wet pussy just below.

Couch isn't so big and he will be sore in the morning, but he won't allow anyone else on Camille's sheets.

The condom slips from his hands and he has difficulty putting on it, but as soon as he puts it on he already penetrates, making Casey moan loudly.

The sensation is overwhelming, it takes a second to Hank catch his breath again, the entrance is tight and warm, Hank tries to stay focused, but is engulfed in the new sensation.

Casey is the one who starts to move, slowly rotating his hips, trying to bring Hank back. "Please ..." He pleads. "Please move."

The alpha watches him, this omega must roll like this for everyone, he must moan and bite his lips for everyone whose fucks him.

Casey keeps insinuating himself and sinking deeper and deeper into Hank's cock, as if he were going to swallow him and then he steps away and tries to escape just to sink again.

"Hank ..." He mutters through clenched teeth. 

Hank starts moving hard, making him scream, he holds Casey against the couch, his cold hands leaving reddish marks on his skin, but the omega doesn't seem to care about the pain, he keeps rolling around like a professional slut.

He sit, bringing Casey to his lap, in this position, he is fully impaled on the alpha's dick and moaning like a whining whore. "Kelly ..." Casey whispers.

Hank doesn't care, he's so sunk in his own pleasure that he doesn't care about it. Casey means nothing, so he doesn't care about whoever he's thinking of right now.

Casey's chest is very close to Hank's mouth, the alpha doesn't think twice about licking the exposed nipple and biting, Casey moans again, a small cry of surprise this time.

When the world explodes in an orgasm, Hank pushes Casey on the couch again. He continues to moving until feels the knot form and, instinct slowly recedes, only then does he realize what he is doing.

Casey slides a few more times and comes untouched, Hank's skin is covered with a transparent layer of sperm, he watches, Casey stands still, Hank looks at him, the omega is pale, he covers his face as if Hank were attacking him just because he cummed, again that look of rejection on his face. "I'm so sorry..."

"It's alright, alright..." He says touching Casey's cock for the first time, the omega closes his eyes and moans, completely surrendered to the pleasure of his touch, he smiles, gently and warmly, touching Hank's face, but still really insecure. "I'm sorry ... I'm not good at this too..." He says confused. "You feel so good inside me ..." He says as if Hank didn't know that. "Please, don't leave me now, Hank."

Hank settles over him and waits for the knot to fit snugly, he knows how painful a knot can be, he can feel Casey's skin stretching, that shouldn't be good. He's not so drunk anymore and neither does Casey seem to be.

"I'm not going anywhere for the next twenty minutes, boy." He says without showing emotion. "Cut the crap..."

"Do you miss someone, Hank?" Casey asks "Did you think of her while you did it to me?" He asks, totally ignoring what Hank said earlier about being quiet.

"Huh huh." Hank answers, he really doesn't want to talk now.

"Do you love her? That's why you won't kiss me while we...?" No more alcoholic euphoria in his voice, just an barely shy whisper.

Hank moves his hips making him wince. "I don't wanna talk. Are you always that annoying after sex, Lieutenant?"

"No, no one has ever come this close, nobody stays with me the next morning. Can you imagine that? I'm a looser."

Hank thinks for a moment, he cannot imagine what is wrong with this boy for him to be so alone.

"I thought you were in love, boy." Hank teases. "The way you moved while I fucked you, I thought you were thinking on your special person."

"No. No matter how many times it happens, it always hurts a little at the beginning." Casey feels his face blushing. "I just ... I didn't want to be bad with you, I'm not good at many things." He says touching Hank's head and stroking his hair gently.

Hank wants to extend this conversation and question why that desperate look of rejection on his eyes, but he says nothing. 

They stay in silence, Hank is almost asleep when he hears Casey talk again.

"I have no one..." And then Casey is crying and sobbing, his chest shaking and Hank doesn't know what to do. He tries to pull away but they are stuck and Casey moans holding his own belly. "Don't leave me... I'm so tired of being alone, Hank."

Definitely no relief came from this night.

_"I don't know what I'm supposed to do_   
_Haunted by the ghost of you_   
_Take me back to the night we met"_


	2. So cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd rather choke on my bad decisions  
Then just carry them to my grave...

THE MORNING AFTER...

_"You can't hear me cry..."_

Casey woke up with a huge hangover, his stomach rolling over and over and, alone in the unknown alpha's couch. The light of day irritates his eyes, he tries to remember last night while covering his head with a pillow.

Suddenly there is a smell of fried eggs spreading around the room and footsteps around him. A plate of eggs is placed in front of his face, the alpha is standing in, next to the couch. "Good morning, doll."

Casey sighs, he's naked and trying to cover himself with a thin blanket. "What time is it?" He asks, his lips dry by the alcohol.

"Early, eat, I gotta go work, so you gotta get dressed..." The alpha says coldly.

The alpha leaves him alone for a moment, he dresses up, cursing himself for not finding his underwear, there's something gooey on the floor, a used condom, embarrassed, he thanks for it, he doesn't take any birth control lately.

The alpha seems impatient with Casey's delay in eating, the omega's stomach is overturned, so he eats slowly.

"I really gotta go, Casey."

"Okay, hmm ... Can you give me a ride ...? Damn, I don't know where I left my car last night."

"I'll take you there."

So that's it, no more kindness, Casey is embarrassed and doesn't know what to say, the alpha drives fast keeping his eyes on the road.

"Your wife ..." he murmurs, the alpha looks at him abruptly. "I saw the pictures on your wall, you have a nice family."

Hank just nods and keeps driving. "My wife's dead, don't worry about it." He parks in front of that decrepit bar, Casey feels a shiver run down his spine.

"I don't usually ..." He tries to explain himself. "I dind't even knew this place before last night." He is surprised and scared to this place. "I never ..." He desperately wants to explain that he does not usually do this, he is not a drunk slut, but his actions last night proved otherwise, there is no way to defend himself. "Hank ..."

Hank points to the end of the street where Casey's car is parked. "You seemed quite familiar to me last night." Hank scoffs at him impatiently.

Casey feels his face burn with embarrassment. "I don't know what I said last night, but ..."

"I've already heard all your drunk shit and, the shit you do when you're drunk doesn't interest me, just take care next time you get drunk. Now get out, boy."

Casey was never anyone's first choice or second date, most of the relationships he had were just in his head. Alphas don't want needy male omegas like him. His father was right about him, Matthew Casey is just a hole to fuck and tie and get rid of in the morning.

Without any promise to see each other again, he gets out of the car, apologizing for taking the alpha's time and thanking him for the ride and, the eggs he hasn't even finished eating.

  
Before getting in the car he wonders if he should go back to the bar and drink some more, his stomach does not agree and, he ends up on his knees by the street, vomiting.

Meanwhile, Hank drives away, he needs to go back home and clean the place until he gets out the omega smell from there.

_"I should've known better_   
_Now it hurts much more"_

"Matt, can you hear me?" Shay asks again.

"Yes, I'm sorry, I ..."

"Oh man, you're so far away!" The blonde complains. "Tell me what's on your mind, Matt."

"I left yesterday and ... I drank a little ..."

Shay smiles. "A wild night! So tell me, how's 'Casey wild night' ends up?"

"My stomach hurts, that's all." He minimizes the situation. "I shouldn't drink." 

"What else? Anyone interesting?" She pokes Casey with her shoulder.

"An alpha ... I don't know much beyond that, he dump me off this morning." He simplifies again, as if that wasn't a big deal. "Just another bad date, I guess..."

Shay's smile is now empathetic, she hates to see Matt rejected as a stray dog. Lately he's been looking a lot like that, especially when Severide attacks him at work, he almost always tries to keep his smile while tears pool in his eyes.

"I know what can help, let's go out today and find some nice people."

"Nah, I'm fine ..."

"Come on, it will be fun, Matt!"

"Will Severide be there?"

"Yes, I think..."

"He doesn't want to see me around, Shay, you know that ..."

"And who cares what he thinks?"

"Thanks for trying, but I need some sleep and ... I have things to do ..."

"Things?"

"Yes, things ..."

_"I felt like I couldn't breathe_   
_My aching body fell to the floor"_

Hank is surprised to find the omega sitting in his office a few weeks after that night on the bar. "What do you want here?"

Casey gets up, he's shaking. "Sorry, I ... The lady downstairs let me wait for you here, Hank..."

Hank closes the door, he's still looking at Casey suspiciously. "And what do you want from me?"

"I didn't know if I should call you so I decided to come here..."

"Spit it out!" Hank orders impatiently.

"I'm pregnant, I took the tests yesterday and ... I'm freaking out here ..." Casey says quickly.

Hank's silence says more than he could expect. Casey sits again, pale.

"I don't know how it happened, Hank ..."

"And what do you expect me to do, Lieutenant?"

"I don't know, I didn't know who to talk to and ... I don't want to make any decisions without you knowing ..."

"And why would I care about your shit?" Hank says coldly, it hits Casey like a punch in the face. 

"Hank ..."

"Do what you want, I don't care!"

Casey no longer knows why he came here or even thought the alpha would care about him or the baby, but deep down, he had some hope of support.

"Do you need money to get rid of this thing?" Hank takes his wallet out of his pocket and throws some dollars. "I don't care what you're doing, this shit is your responsibility, not mine." He tosses the money in Casey's face, and the notes scatter across the floor.

Casey has no reaction, he feels the world spin around, his legs are weak when he leaves Hank's office, but he only allows himself to cry when he hits the street.

He is alone again.

_"You caused my heart to bleed and_   
_You still owe me a reason"_


	3. 'Cause I'm broken...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He's a lucky guy."  
Matthew Casey

He's broken...

Casey leans back over the toilet, he feels his throat hurt from the effort to throw up, it's the fourth time today that he needs to run to the bathroom. He has an appointment on Tuesday to get rid of this little 'hassle', so far he has to deal with all the symptoms of this unwanted pregnancy.

The image of Hank Voight still in his mind, throwing money in his face, telling him to get rid of this thing, he hates himself for going to talk to him.

He is on duty for two nights because of the lack of staff, Mouch got married and Herrmann has just been a father again, he can't leave work because of his stupid drunk night. He washes his face and tries to regain some dignity when he hears the locker room door open.

Since nothing in his life is easy, it's Severide who enters the locker room and goes to the other sink. Nervously, Casey tries to keep calm by taking a deep breath.

They're not talking yet, not like before, before Andy ...

"Are you drunk?"

Casey doesn't answer, he knows it's just a tease and has no physical conditions to get into another fight with Severide.

The alpha's smell invades the place and it makes Casey's nausea worse, he tries to hide it, while Severide washes his hands, in no hurry.

"You shouldn't drink if you can't stop." Severide says in his most arrogant tone. Casey rolls his eyes and washes his face again. 

As soon as Severide finishes washing his hands he leaves the locker room and Casey returns to the toilet to throw up, only now he's crying too.

.

During dinner Severide kept his eyes on him, Casey was uncomfortable, the alpha followed him with his eyes wherever he went, even when Casey was in the kitchen trying to eat Mills's dinner.

He is deliberately avoiding Severide now, doesn't want to fight or argue with the alpha, and is tired of hearing his dirty jokes, so he tries to stay away.

The empty house waited for him after two tiring shifts, only silence and darkness welcoming him home. He takes a warm shower, the shower is defective, he must to see this later. The lights in the room don't come on, he also has to work it out later, now he only wants to sleep for a whole week.

Hours later he wakes up cold, the heating broke down, the whole damn house is falling down on him. Unwilling to get out of bed he just huddled around himself and tries to stay warm. 

The next morning he drinks bitter coffee standing in the kitchen, then goes to the woodshop, needs to fix up this house. He has no money to rent a better place to live so he has to fix this one, and this is definitely not the best place to raise a baby.

Casey can fix things, he can build them either, but nobody hires an omega to do that kind of service. He's lucky to have a job at the fire department, he knows that.

At night, exhausted, he falls asleep in front of the TV with a beer in his hands and the stomach turning.

First the doctor explained that he had two alternatives to having an abortion: he could give the medicine for him to take alone or he could do a procedure for about an hour at the clinic. The drugs would be less invasive, but there would be more pain. But he explained that both options were safe. Casey doesn't mind pain, he just wants to get it over with as quickly as possible.

Then a social worker came to talk to him, shortly after one last exam, the fetus is almost 10 weeks old, it's tiny...

Shay met him at Molly's after he called, Casey was pale. 

"What happened? What did you mean you couldn't wait until Wednesday?"

"I asked for a few days leave from work ..." His hands trembled on the table. "I'm going to be out for a week or two, I'm not sure."

"Oh finally, you really need a break, Matt." Shay notices something different about Casey's countenance. " What? What's wrong, Casey?"

"I have periodic exams and ... Chief Boden will make me do them even if I'm on leave ..."

"And since when is this a problem for you? What did you do?"

Casey takes a deep breath, there's no acquaintance of them in the bar at this hour. "I've been drinking, Shay... a lot."

"Severide drinks too and this has nothing ..."

"I'm Pregnant." He says quickly. "That's it, I'm pregnant."

"What?"

The beer glass is empty on the table, Shay watching Casey intently.

"I was ... I don't know, I just wanted to forget all this shit and I found this guy." Casey straightens his shirt, it get start to tighten at the waist. "It was just a single drunken date and he doesn't want to know what I'm going to do with the baby..."

Shay is sorry for him, she reaches out and touches him, softly. "And what you're going to do, Matt?"

"I don't know, adoption maybe, but ... I'm so screwed up, Shay."

"It's okay, we can handle it, Matt."

Casey exhales and wipes his throat. "I had an abortion scheduled yesterday, but I couldn't, Shay. I just ..." Casey looks at the counter, his eyes watery. "I don't want to hurt him ..."

Does anyone else know about this? "

"No, I didn't speak to anyone. I mean, the other father knows, but he doesn't want to ... I'm alone in this. I can't have a child, I'm going to be unemployed and ... God, I don't even know what I'm doing now."

Shay looks surprised. "Are you going to keep the baby, Matt?"

"I can't ... Anyway, that's not why I called you here, I need your help on something else, Shay.

"But of course, what is it?"

The next morning Shay hands him a small pot with urine. Casey hides it inside his coat.

"Be careful. I don't know how you both can get into these situations, I swear ..."

"Both of us?" Matt frowns curiously. "Who's the other?"

"Yes, you and Severide ..."

"What's up with Severide?" He asks concerned.

"Nothing, it's just ... You need to be more careful, that's all."

The bombardment of Shay's messages started on Monday night, Casey read some and some he just ignored, all with addresses of adoption agencies and support homes for pregnant omegas.

He just ignores it, he decides he can wait a few more days before making any decision. 

_"'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome"_


	4. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You are so silent that I don't even realize when you are suffering..."

_"Oh I need a friend_   
_To make me happy_   
_Not so alone"_

Matthew Casey made a bad, very bad decision. He obviously cannot maintain a pregnancy, even if he had a partner to count on, he cannot. So he had to go back to work just two days later with Shay after him, trying to make him make another decision.

Deep inside, he knows he only kept this pregnancy 'cause he is tired of feeling alone all the time. He's a 36 year old man afraid of loneliness. He didn't think about the risk he's taking, just about having something to cling to in the lonely nights.

He gotta no close friends, no family since his mother killed his father and was arrested, it's just him every day and countless lonely nights.

But then, how could a failed man like him could care for a child? 

It's simple, he can't. Neither emotionally nor financially. If he loses his job he won't get another one anytime soon, he has high debts now that he has decided to help get his mother out of prison. No emergency reserves.

Not even a good health plan, just the basics. He going to fail this child and end up alone as he always does.

And he simply can't count on any support from the other parent. Hank Voight doesn't even want to see him and Matt won't look for him ever again.

Keeping this child was a bad decision by Casey and only his own, and right now he's in the locker room trying to close his jacket without losing his breath.

He knows he needs to be more careful but can't get away from work yet, not while everyone seems to be collapsing around him.

"Weight gain?" Severide just passed him in a towel. "You shouldn't eat all that shit Mills cook."

"I'm fine ..." he mumbles.

"It's not what it looks like." Severide gets dressed, Casey doesn't look to him. "You are fat, Casey!"

"I ... Are you alright, Sev? Severide," he corrects, ignoring the lieutenant's comment.

"Yes, why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know, we hardly even talk anymore since..."

"Missing me, Casey?" He says arrogantly.

Casey sighs, this is not going anywhere today.

"No, it's just ..." He looks at Severide and sees him rubbing his shoulder. "Does your shoulder hurt again?"

"I am fine, Casey."

"Severide..."

"Take care of your own business, man!"

Andy used to bridge the gap between them, but now without Andy, there is nothing left of the old friendship between him and Severide and, even if he wanted to get closer to the alpha again, Severide would ridicule him and make him feel worse. Like he always do lately.

"I'm just trying to ..."

"Trying what, Casey? Do the right thing? Now?" Severide screams, bullying Casey.

The omega closes his jacket and walks away. "I just ... It wasn't my fault, okay? You should have ventilated!"

"I'm from the rescue team, Casey! We don't ventilate! You shouldn't have let Andy climb the stairs alone!"

"It was an accident..."

"An accident you could have avoided and Andy would be alive now! Wanna know? I sleep like a baby at night!"

Casey gives up on this conversation.

"What you'll going to do, Matt?"

Shay walked into his office, Casey is embittering a terrible nausea. "What?" He wipes the sweat off his forehead. "What you're talking about?"

"About the ..." She points to his belly. "You can't work that way."

"I am fine. I have more time until the next exams, you saved me, Shay."

"Yeah, but what about getting sick at work, Matt? Everyone will know you're pregnant."

"I still have some time until ..."

"Until what? You're already showing it. Have you been looking in the mirror lately?" Casey looks at himself, he hasn't even realized the size of his belly lately. "I know you're the type to put yourself in the last place, but now there's a baby that needs to be taken care of, Matt!"

"I know..." 

"Who is it, Matt? The other father, who is it? You didn't tell me."

"He's not important. He doesn't even want to know what I'm going to do about it." He says remembering the last meeting with Hank Voight. "He's not in the picture, Shay."

"Where did you find him?"

"In a bar, I don't even remember where." He rubs his face. "Things got messy after what happened to Andy ... I lost control." Matt takes a deep breath.

"I'm not judging you, but that doesn't sound like anything you would do, Matt. Severide yes, but you don't ..."

"What's wrong with Severide?" He asks abruptly, leaving Shay surprised.

"What?"

"I know there's something wrong with him, but ... He won't tell me. How serious is that?"

Shay waves her arms uncomfortably. "I don't know what you're talking about." She leaves him alone.

Most of the 51 firefighters share apartments, which helps with the bills and loneliness of a city like Chicago, but not Matt, he lives alone, his own loneliness. 

So Molly's Bar has become a kind of obligatory place for him, not drinking since he learned of the pregnancy but even so, he comes every night, sits by the counter and watches Severide flirtatiously with everyone.

Everybody, but him and, he would give anything to have that look of Severide over him, but it will never happen, the alpha has already made it very clear.

Even if he worries about the other lieutenant, in his own kind of veiled admiration, nothing about Casey is attractive to Severide, nothing that catches his eyes or is interesting, and now, pregnant, he knows he'll never have the alpha interested in him. 

And here he is, pregnant, rejected, and looking at the love of his life taking someone else home tonight.

His hormones are coming out and making him even more needy. It's like his dad used to say, he's not worth it the next day.

Shortly after two in the morning someone knocked on his door. Sleepy, he gets up to answer it.

"You?" Hank Voight is standing in the hallway. "How did you find me?"

Hank walks in, pushing Casey out the door. The policeman looks around Casey's small living room.

"Don't ask stupid questions!" Hank's hoarse voice echoes around the room, making Casey's skin crawl.

"What do you want?" Casey crosses his arms defensively. "I thought you didn't want to see me again."

"Did you get rid of it?" Hank points to his belly. "This child cannot be born, omega."

"That's my decision, not yours! How did you find my home?"

"I can do anything, boy. Now tell me, what are you going to do about it?"

"That's not your problem! We ain't your problem! Now get out!"

Hank moves his chin, his thin lips tight. Calmly he walks to the door, Casey tries to close it but Hank holds it.

"You better get rid of it before I do it myself. You're a firefighter, aren't you? Accidents happen, boy!"


	5. Strongest

* * *

_"Because a vision softly creeping_   
_Left its seeds while I was sleeping_   
_And the vision that was planted in my brain_   
_Still remains_   
_Within the sound of silence"_

Casey is afraid, not that he's a coward, but his omega nature claims him to be careful. He has no idea what Hank Voight is capable of, he can't risk it now that the threat is still fresh in his mind, then he is alert and looking sideways more often.

He is still working and knows this can't end wel, he fears not getting another job, he was born to be a firefighter and can't see himself doing anything else in life. He may try to keep up with the renovation work, but who would hire a pregnant omega to fix walls and pipes?

He may try to keep the renovation work going, but who would hire a pregnant omega to fix walls and pipes with hands swollen and feet hurting, constipated all the time? No one!

He decides that while he can do the firefighter's job he will do it, even if it costs his career. He can try to save some money in the meantime. No concrete plan, only instinct taking over and forcing him to protect the life within him.

Shay came to check his blood pressure after seeing him pale shortly after an occurrence.

"It's low. You must rest, Matt."

"I know, I'm going to rest, I just need more time and ... He's here..." He is visibly scared and keeping his hand around his abdomen.

"Who?"

Casey glances at the car parked just behind the fire truck, Hank is there talking to another cop. 

"A cop? That cop?"

"Let's finish here and leave."

"Matt, I'm serious here, you're taking a lot of risks."

Casey looks around, the others are looking at him. "I am fine." He gets up and walks away from the paramedic. "Let's collect our things."

"Casey..." She insist, but Casey doesn't pay attention to her, he looks around. "Let's get out of here."

Shay parked the ambulance next to the fire truck and ran over to Casey.

"What was that? Who is that man? Why did you get scared that way?"

"It was a mistake, Shay ... Please, I gotta ..."

"What did he do to you?"

Casey loses his mind. "He fucked me well and was a scoundrel the next day, that's all! Can you leave me alone now?"

_"In restless dreams I walked alone_   
_Narrow streets of cobblestone_   
_'Neath the halo of a street lamp_   
_I turned my collar to the cold and damp"_

To his surprise, Severide came looking for him at the end of the shift.

"We're going to Molly, do you want to come?" He asks casually, Casey sits down and looks at him, surprised.

"And?" He needed to know that he was welcome there. "Am I being invited?"

Severide shrugs. "Everyone will be there, you can go if you want."

Casey accepts the offer and accompanies them to Molly.

Severide sat next to him and ordered two beers, Casey refused.

"By the old days, man. I'm trying to soften things. I don't wanna fight anymore." 

"As a peace offering, Severide?"

"It's up to you, Matty."

Casey smiles for the first time in months, he's so tired of this fight with Severide.

"Ya know? Nothing we do now will bring Andy back, it's stupid to keep on fighting, Matty." Concludes the other lieutenant. "We've all lost a lot since Andy left."

Casey feels his skin crawl, only Severide calls him 'Matty'.

"I hear your mom can get out of prison soon, that's good, isn't it?"

"Yes, the parole hearing is in a few days. She has a real chance this time."

"That's good, Matty, I mean ... Are you happy?"

"Yes, everyone deserves a second chance, so does she, Sev."

Severide sips the beer in silence, Casey just watches the way the other lieutenant's lips fit that bottle. The thick and full lips ...

"Do you really think so?"

"What?" He is taken by surprise.

"This 'second chance' shit, do you really think so?"

"Yes, we all deserve it ... something better, my mom made a mistake, but she's already paid for it and deserves to live out here, with us." Severide looks at him for a moment, making Matt embarrassed. "I guess..."

Severide smiles. "I never imagined you being a family guy, Matty."

"Why not?" Casey asks really curious.

"I don't know, you don't look like that type of guy, I don't know."

"And what kind of guy do I look like?"

"I don't know, you always seemed like a loner. The kind of guy who likes his own solitude."

Casey is silent, he doesn't want to talk about his loneliness now.

"Well, let's drink to her freedom then." Severide orders more beers.

_"And in the naked light I saw_   
_Ten thousand people, maybe more_   
_People talking without speaking_   
_People hearing without listening"_

Late in the evening Casey helps Severide out of the bar, the lieutenant is fully drunk.

"No, wait, we have to get someone, you know to heat up this cold night ..."

"You're in no condition, buddy."

"So are you going to warm me tonight, Matty?"

"No, I'll take you home ..."

"That's not the sexy thing to say, Casey."

"So now I'm sexy?" Casey smiles, he helps Severide get on the subway. "You better rack your brain, Sev."

"Hmm, I never said otherwise." Severide sits heavily on the subway seat. He pulls Casey down beside him. "You smell good, Casey ..."The lieutenant pokes his nose into Casey's jacket and sniffs the omega smell. "Mature..."

"You know you shouldn't smell people, right Severide?" Casey tries to keep Severide's hands off him.

"You didn't used to complain ..." Severide holds Casey's collar with his fingertips. "When I used to compliment your perfume."

"As far I know, you didn't compliment, you laughed from the way I smell."

"Water under the bridge, besides ... I was an idiot, you always smell good, Matty." He rests his head on Casey's shoulder. "You smell delicious."

Unable to react, Severide's lips are on his, kissing him. A weird, awkward kiss, still a kiss.

Then Severide walks away and looks into his face. "You're a good kisser, Matty." He rests his head on his shoulder again, Casey's still paralyzed, he is about to push him, but realizes that Severide is sleeping.

_"Fools, said I, you do not know?_   
_Silence like a cancer grows"_

He tries to make no noise as he enters Severide's apartment, but the other lieutenant is heavy and they end up falling in the door.

"Okay, Sev, now you gotta get off of me."

Severide mutters something inaudible, the living room light is on, and Shay appears above them. "At least he didn't sleep in the hall this time." She said.

They put Severide in bed.

"He'll be fine." Shay says, she's used to dealing with drunken Severide. "Thanks for bringing him back, Matt."

"Alright, I ... Shay I'm so sorry, for earlier today, I was an idiot with you."

Shay just nods gently, she understands the situation. "You can stay here tonight if you want, Matt."

"No, I gotta go home." Casey doesn't want to risk his luck and screw it up with Severide again.

"Casey, if this guy is harassing you or something ..."

"Is not it." Casey sits down. "He doesn't want a son and ... I should have had an abortion while still could, but I don't want to and now ... I'm having this son, Shay."

Shay sits beside him. "Well, that's your decision not his, Matt."

"Still, it can complicate things and I don't need it right now."

"What are you going to do then?"

"I'm going home and getting some sleep, I'm exhausted." He gets up and walks to the door.

"Hmmm, Matt ..." Shay calls. "It's good to see you two together again."

Casey just smiles and walks away.

_"And no one dare_   
_Disturb the sound of silence"_


	6. Going in deep water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The long nights are gone with the river"

_"We float on the river of time_   
_Hold steady"_

Anxiety swept over Casey all day long, he's not sure if he and Severide were really all right, or if it was just the result of a drunken night.

He is covered by Severide's scent and still feeling the alpha's lips over his, even if it was a clumsy, drunk kiss. And now it's 6:00 in the morning and he's spent most of the night in the bathroom throwing up and has to get ready for work.

He is going to his car when he notices a strange movement around the vehicle, a man runs out when see Casey.

"Hey! What are you doing?" He tries to follow the man but is weak and does not go far. He goes back to the vehicle and finds it with broken windows, a brick was used for it.

He arrived late at the fire station, ran to the locker room and went to change. He almost jumped when Severide appeared beside him.

"Sorry ..." Severide says smiling.

"It's okay, I was distracted and ..."

"Are you all right? You look a little pale, Matty."

"An idiot shut me down the road, I need new windows." He lied.

"Want me to take a look at your car later?" Severide offers kindly.

"No, that's fine, just a few broken windows." He gives up his shirt and tries to disguise himself with discomfort.

"Hmm, Matty ..." Severide scratches his head.

"Yes?" Looking into alpha eyes for the first time.

"We both ...? I mean, did we sleep together last night?"

Casey feels the ground move around his feet. "No, we didn't sleep together, Kelly, nothing happened." He explains, omitting the fact that Severide kissed him.

Severide sighs relieved. "Oh man, what a relief!" That makes Casey upset, Severide notices and tries to fix things. "That's not it, Matty, I ..."

The fire alarm interrupts the conversation and they run to the trucks.

_"Hold steady, hold steady_   
_Storm for hours, and rainy days"_

It was a quick call and Casey went to the office and closed there for the rest of the day. Severide approached and almost knocked on his door, but gave up.

Casey's cell phone rang nonstop in the afternoon, he just ignored it.

Severide watched him enter the kitchen at dinner time. He sat in a corner and ate alone, for a moment he answered the phone and seemed annoyed by it.

"Some problem, Casey?"

"No, it's ... It's nothing." Casey gets up with the plate in his hands, but Severide holds him by the arm.

"Wait..." Casey sits down again. "I didn't mean to offend you or anything, just ... I don't like to do things when I'm drunk."

"I would never abuse you drunk, Kelly." Casey looks very tired.

"I know you don't, I trust you, Matty."

Casey is silent for a moment, then fills with courage and asks: "Would it be that bad to sleep with me, Kelly?" He whispers.

"No, I ... No, Matty ..."

Again the fire alarm interrupts them and they need to run.

_"And all our lives we're told_   
_The stream will take us home"_

The rain left the roads slippery, an accident involving two cars, one of them stuck on the guard rail. Casey got out of the truck as quickly as possible and assessed the situation around.

"Stabilize the van!" He shouted at Mouch pointing at the vehicle suspended above the guard rail. In the meantime he went to check the passenger of the other vehicle.

He manages to open the door and release the driver of the car, the young man is stinking of alcohol.

"I'm fine, I'm fine."

"Yes, I know ..." He pushes the boy away from himself, pushing him toward the policeman who had arrived earlier. "Test this idiot!" He looks into the vehicle and sees the beer cans in the passenger seat. "There are beer cans here."

"I'll take care of it." The cop says taking the boy away, so Casey can come back and help rescue the other vehicle.

After a long and difficult rescue, he returns to check on the other driver, only to find that the boy has simply disappeared.

"Where is the driver?"

"Some police took him to the hospital." Informed the police officer to whom Casey handed the boy over.

"Are you kidding me?"

"No, he complained about leg pain and ..."

"He should have been arrested and transported correctly." He looks into the car and finds everything clean. "Did you clean the car?"

The policeman looks around, visibly scared. "Do you know who that boy is?"

"I don't care..."

"Lieutenant ..." Hank's cavernous voice causes Casey to turn and look at him. "I think there was a little misunderstanding here."

"What are you doing here, Voight?"

"I came to get my son." He points to the vehicle. "He's fine, I'm sure we can handle it cordially."

"Your son was drunk, Hank." Casey says without fear. "He caused this accident."

"He's just a boy, that's how we're going to do it, I take care of mine and you take care of yours ..." Hank says menacingly. "Consider it a professional courtesy."

_"And all our lives we're told_   
_The stream will take us home"_


	7. I will take care of you.

Casey didn't lie in his report, he would never do that for anyone. Hank Voight can't make him do that. Then at the end of his shift he reported everything that had really happened.

"I saw your truck out there." Severide cautiously approached him. "Do you need a ride to the mechanic?" 

"No, it's ok." He collects his things from the locker room closet. "I can fix it myself, no big deal!" He is worried and in a horrible mood.

"Multi-talented, what else can you do that I had no idea?"

"It's just windows, anyone can do that. Severide." He says with no interest in continuing this conversation. "Even an omega like me."

"That's not what I meant. Matty."

"Sorry, I ... I just wanna go home and ..."

"It was a long night, huh?"

"A hell one. I don't wanna talk about it now."

"Matty about last night..."

"You don't have to do this, Kelly. Everything's fine." The overwhelming tension between them was indeed heavy. "We're fine, Sev."

"I didn't mean that earlier, Matty, I mean, about us both sleeping together and..."

"We're not going to sleep together, I got it." 

Severide shifts body weight uncomfortably. "We're good, right?"

"Sure. That may seem strange to you, but not everyone wants to sleep with you, Kelly." Casey says trying to ease the tension between them. "Not me..."

"Oh man, that hurts." A broad smile found its way to Severide's face, so he follows Casey to the outside of the firehouse. "Any plans for tonight?" He asks, taking Casey by surprise, the tension between the two seemingly vanished in mere seconds.

"Not really."

"I ... Well, there are some friends of mine in town and we'll be home drinking and stuff, I thought maybe you wanted to show up. They are old friends, all married people, I thought maybe you could..."

"Let me guess, you're the only single one and want to avoid questions about it?" Severide shrugs his shoulders. "So, it's fine showing me to your friends, but that's it? That's all we can have?"

"Kind of ... Come on, Matty, is just a friendly meeting, not a date." Casey looks at him, Severide is slightly flushed. "Like the old times."

"Is it that hard, Kelly?"

"What?"

"To ask me to a date? Is it that hard for you?"

Severide looks around to see if anyone can hear them. "I don't wanna a date night, just old friends ans some beer, I thought we were fine about that."

"I can't do that, I don't like how it sounds ..." Casey tries to hide the feeling of rejection. "I'm sorry..."

"I don't want to raise expectations, Matty ..." He blushed deeper. "Relationships aren't my thing, I'm not good at this. We can go out and have fun, but I don't make relationships..."

Again Casey's father's voice echoing in his head: "Worth a fuck, not in the next morning." He smiles, tired and convinced that his old man was right about that.

"I have no expectations. I already understand that you don't want anything to do with me, I just ... I don't want to play games, that's all." He said, after seconds of silence.

"No games, Matty. Not to you ... You're right we should not ruin that. See you in two days."

Something in his chest tighten when Severide left. Suddenly a strange feeling comes over him, everyone walks away, everyone. Looking down he wonders how long this baby will hold him before leaving his life too? And he still has to deal with his car broken windows, damn it!

Casey didn't came to Mollys tonight, he's so tired and his feet are sore, he just wanna tries to be comfortable, but the hips hurt too, should have made an appointment to evaluate the pregnancy, but he didn't, so he stay on the couch watching baseball on TV with two pillows and a heavy blanket.

Maybe Severide was serious about the night of drinks and friends and he overreacted, whatever, he's too tired to go out anyway. He falls asleep trying to warm his hands over his belly.

He wakes up with the doorbell, gets up and goes to answer it.

"Lieutenant?" Voight is standing on his porch.

"What you want now?"

"I received information about your report ... I think there was a misunderstanding between us."

"No, there wasn't." Casey tries to close the door but Hank holds it and forces himself inside.

"I said keep my son's name out of this shit!"

"Your son caused an accident because he was drunk! The other boy won't walk again because of him! "Casey retorts, Hank won't scare him again.

Hank bites his lips, he's about to lose patience with Casey. "That's bullshit! He was an victim..."

"Spare me, Hank! As far as I know your son was drunk, he caused the accident!"

"Justin is just a boy. My son, do you know what they'll do to him if he goes to jail, Lieutenant? The son of a cop?"

"I'm sorry, but that's not the way I work."

"So it's about that? Your moral code? Tell me, do your teammates know how much you like to take a knot, Lieutenant? Do they know what kind of slut you are? They know how you got pregnant?"

Casey is backing down, but he doesn't let Hank invade his mind. "Are you threatening my son again, Hank? Your son?"

"Mine?" Hank mocks him. "This kid could be anyone, you dirty bitch!"

Casey swallows hard, keeping distance from this alpha. "I'm not one of your men, you can't order me, Hank!" 

"You're right, I would never work with an omega bitch like you."

"Get out of my house!" Casey says without retreating. Voight is very close and snorting with rage. "Get out or ..."

"What? Are you going to call the police, omega? I'm the police! I'm the law in this city!" Voight roared at the top of his lungs directly into Casey's face. "You're going to change that report, omega! It's gonna say you're wrong and change everything!"

Casey feels the omega hormones bubble up in his body, he is ready to obey the alpha. Voight grabs him by the arm, spinning them and pressing the omega against the wall Casey tries to escape him and bumps into the couch, the pain makes him shiver, but he tries to hide and keep Hank away.

"No ... I won't go." Casey swallowed, he took stunted breaths.

"Yes you will!" Voight screams again. "If you want to see another day dawn, you gonna obey me." It was a command, a threat indeed. "We had a deal!" Voight says lowering his gaze to Casey's belly. "You forgot?"

"I didn't make any deal to you, Hank!" Casey catches the alpha's gaze and tries to pull away from his hands, the alpha couldn't even touch his belly. "Now, leave!"

"Any problem here?" Severide is standing behind Voight, the policeman walks away from Casey, saying nothing, he disappears out the door. Casey breathes a sigh of relief.

Severide is curious about what he just saw.

"What did he want here, Matty?" he said, nodding his head to the side, Casey looked at him, taking a moment to process the question, he sits down, his blood pressure must be low because he's dizzy now.

"I ... He's the father of the boy who caused the accident last night. What are you doing here?" He asks, realizing that Severide should be with his supposed friends now.

"I bought beers." Severide shows the drink in his hands, but he's still trying to decipher Casey's strange visitor. "What deal was he talking about, Casey?"

"I have no idea." Casey feels his legs soften and something damp between his thighs.

"Are you ok Matt?"

"No, I don't ..." Casey gets up and tries to get to the bathroom but he stops midway and turns to Severide. "Can you give me a ride?" Bringing one hand up to massage the sore spot, his belly, he turned, feeling everything fade.

"Where?"

"Hospital, I think I'm bleeding."


	8. You're gonna be ok

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm sorry you saw me shaking  
Stay with me for a day  
I've got no one to hold me  
Cause I, I turn them all away"

"Faster, please, Kelly..." Casey repeats as he rubs his belly over and over, as if that would ease the pain he felt. "Hmmmm, please, God... My baby..." The omega is going into shock.

"Stay up, man!" Severide tries to keep the car steering while holding Casey's limp body with the other hand. "Stay with me, buddy." He looks at the empty street wet with the afternoon rain. "What's up with you, Matty? A baby, man? You're going to have a baby!" Severide repeats to himself as he tries to distract Casey.

"I don't ..." Casey tries to maintain a line of reasoning, but his mind is slowly moving away. "I need to take care of him and ... I don't know how that ..."

"Casey! We're almost there, stay awake! Stay with me!" Severide parks in front of the hospital and helps Casey to get out of the car.

"Don't go ... Take care of us, please, Kelly." The omega in Casey begs the alpha, while Severide drags him to the hospital.

"Hey, nothing is going to happen, Matty. You'll be fine."

_"I don't wanna be alone_   
_But I'm better on my own_

_Cause I'm fragile"_

Then everything turns into a confusing and painful blur, they put him in a wheelchair, Casey tries to stay conscious, but he's succumbing. They take him to another room, he is lying on a stretcher, examined and, all he can think about is his baby, if he is well, if he can ...

"He is in shock! Do something!" Severide's voice.

"Hey, you can't stay here!" He hears someone scream and then Severide is removed of the room.

_"I'm sorry you saw me breaking_   
_But stay with me don't stray_   
_God, I wish you would hold me closely_   
_Don't think I don't feel the same"_

Casey wakes up to the soft sound of rhythmic beeps. There's no pain, just a slight twinge in his lower abdomen, nothing serious. It takes a while before he can remember where he is.

He tries to get out of bed, but realizes that he is attached to an IV pole and some other cardiac monitoring devices, so lies back down again and slides his hand over his belly.

"He's fine ..." Severide's voice echoes from the corner of the room. "Your baby's fine, Matty."

Casey breathes a sigh of relief, at that point he no longer cares whether or not Severide knows about his pregnancy, it's okay.

The alpha is sitting with his arms crossed over his chest. "The doctor said this happens in stressful situations, it sums up your life well." He says displeased and visibly sulky.

"I'm trying to ..." Casey mutters, Severide gets up and approaches him. "I swear, I tried to protect him and ..."

"Trying? You shouldn't even be on duty anymore, Matt! Do you have any idea how stupid that is? So many things can go wrong in our work! A building on fire, any shit can happen and ... God! You put yourself in danger and put a child too! "

"It's my job, Kelly."

"Your job is to protect people and not endanger them! How long have you known about him? How long have you risked this way?"

"I didn't put anyone in danger, what are you talking about?"

"Your son! How can you be so stupid?"

Casey rubs his eyes slowly, he doesn't want to argue now, however Severide seems to be further irritated by his silence.

"Who is the other father?" The alpha asks, very angry.

"It doesn't matter ..." Casey closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

"Oh no? Does he know you have endangered his child?"

"He no..."

"This is so stupid!"

"He doesn't care, okay? He doesn't want us, it was an accident ..."

Then Severide is silent, the anger goes away, in her place now there is only pity and Casey hates it.

"I was drunk and so is he. Just one night and nothing more." He rubs his eyes tiredly.

"Are you and him ...?" Severide asks gently, embarrassed by his previous behavior. "I mean..."

"Told you, it was just one night stand. It was three months ago, I need more time, Boden won't let me out now, I need this job, Kelly."

"I won't say anything, but you can't hide it much longer." Severide says looking at the bulge of Casey's belly. "The doctor said you need rest, it can happen again, Casey."

"I'm doing what I can..." Matt knows that is not enough.

"Well, the other dad could help you, he's an alpha, right?"

"He suggested an abortion and, I don't know why, but I couldn't do it, but i can't keep this baby too, if i lose my job we both are lost."

"Did he 'suggest' that?" Severide frowns. Then Casey realizes that Severide can't handle it, he just can't pretend it didn't bother him.

"It's a long story, Sev." Casey closes the matter. "Thanks for bringing me here, I hope I haven't stained your car."

"No, it's fine. Do you need something, Matty?"

"No, I'm fine, we're fine ..." He says rubbing his belly.

"I gotta go ..." Severide points to the door. Casey just nods yes.

"Okay..."

Severide looks at him one last time and walks away. So Casey allows herself to cry, until that moment he had not realized how much he really wants to have this child.

_"Cause I'm fragile_   
_God, I'm fragile"_

Day dawned fast, Casey couldn't sleep much. A nurse came to help him take a shower, she explained how to use the pad since he was still bleeding. Embarrassed, he sat on the toilet and placed it between his legs. 

An ultrasound exam detected the baby's heartbeat, a blurred image of a small human being forming inside him, Casey marvels at that confused image.

He lies down again and tries to get some more sleep, is afraid of making sudden movements, afraid of hurting his baby, the doctor asks if he has someone who can come pick him up, he says no.

And for the first time he realizes that he will raise this child alone, completely alone.

_"God, I wish I could love you"_

"I can come in?"

He sits down as Shay approaches the bed. "Hi, I ..." He didn't want anyone else to see him here like this, but he's happy to be Shay. "Come here."

"I was nearby, Severide blurted out that you felt bad." She frowns like a half apology for that. "He didn't tell me in detail but I figured it could be the baby."

"The baby is good." 

"So what happened?" She sits by the bed.

"It was just a scare, I started to bleed, Severide was there, he saved me."

"Anyway, he's quite upset, Matty. I thought you two had a fight or something."

"No ... I think I let him down. For some reason, I let everyone down."

"What are you saying? You didn't disappoint anyone." Shay holds his hand. Casey smiles, relieved."He said there was an alpha in your house. Was that him? The father of your baby?"

Casey's smile fades. "He thinks he can scare me, but it's fine."

"You need to go to the police, Matt."

"Shay, he's from the police, they won't help me."

"Well, maybe ..."

"Out of the question, they won't do anything for me."

"Then what you gonna do, Matt?"

"I don't know yet, now I just need to get out of here." Shay caresses his hand in support. "He hates me more, doesn't he?"

"Who?"

"Severide. He thinks I'm stupid and a bitch for letting that happen. We were doing so well ..."

_"God, I wish you would hold me closely"_

Severide standing next to Shay's closet startled her. "Shit Kelly!"

"Did you talk to him? Were you at the hospital, dind't you?"

"Yeah, I passed by. Don't scare me that way, idiot!"

"What did he say?"

"About what?"

"Don't be stupid!" He says impatiently.

"Hey, watch out!" She walks away and leaves him talking to himself, but Severide follows her.

"Sorry, okay? I just ... Is he okay?"

"Yes." She turns but changes his mind and turns back to him. "I promised to pick him up this afternoon, but I just remembered I have something else to do, can you do it for me, Kelly?"

"And why would i do that?" Severide asks with disdain.

"Because you are desperate to see him, and he needs you now."

_"I'm better on my own_   
_But I don't wanna be alone"_


	9. Pacifiers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "To be bold, to be brave;  
It is the thinking that the heart can still be saved."

_"To be humble, to be kind._   
_It is the giving of the peace in your mind._   
_To a stranger, to a friend_   
_To give in such a way that has no end."_

Casey complained a little but eventually gave in and allowed the pediatrics nurse to take him in the wheelchair until he left the hospital. He packed his things and waited for Shay in the bedroom. A light knock on the door, he just put on his coat and grabbed his bag.

"Hi." Severide pushed the door slowly and get in the room. "Are you ready?"

"Severide? What are you doing here? Where's Shay?"

Severide shrugs, as if that is no big deal. "She gotta a date, I was free so, I came to pick you up. Are you ready?" Severide takes the bag from his hands.

"The nurse..."

"We can run from her if you want to, Matty." Severide suggests laughing.

"I wish I could, but I'm still ..." Casey blushes. "I'm not going anywhere running today."

Severide looks at him, concern returning to his face. "Are you ok? The baby ...?"

"We're fine, thanks to you. Thank you, Kelly."

Casey is pale, Severide guesses it is because of the blood loss, he's face is now round, cheeks full. A pregnant face, for sure. "Are you ready to go?"

"It's Saturday night, you must have something better to do, Kelly, I can take the subway, it's not far."

"No way ... I'll take you home."

Casey looks around, checking to see if he's got all his things.

"Hey Matty, I'm glad you and the baby are fine ..."

Casey looks at him, that sounds weird, after all this baby puts an end to any expectations he might have about him and Severide. But he is also happy to have his baby safe and everything is strangely confusing from there.

The silence between them is interrupted by the nurse entering the room pushing the wheelchair.

"Oh, Daddy is here. All right, sir, you can take him if you want." She concludes looking at Severide, Casey blushes and tries to correct her little mistake, but Severide interrupts him.

"I'll take him for sure."

The nurse, an elderly omega, smiles and checks Casey for the last time. "Very well, pretty boy, you can go now. Don't forget the vitamins and come back here if you feel anything. Need more pads?"

"No, I ..." Casey blushes even more. "I'm fine."

"Okay, see you in two weeks then." She leaves the room, leaving a smiling Severide behind.

"You're using pads now, Matty?"

Casey looks at the wheelchair without the courage to sit in it. "Give me a break, Severide."

"Come on, 'Daddy'." Severide teases, Casey sits against his will. "Medical orders, man."

"You know, she thought you were the other dad, right? I'll take hours to explain this later."

"Don't be so dramatic, Matty. It's easier than explaining how you got pregnant by accident at age 36. " He says, but regrets as soon as the words come out of his mouth." Sorry, I said it without thinking. "

"What? That I'm a pathetic single parent? Everyone will know that one day."

"No you're not, you can do it better than most, Matty. This baby is very lucky to have you."

Severide's blue eyes are on him, Casey feels naked and ashamed of it. "I wanted Shay here." Casey complains, grumpy. "Would be easier."

"Hard to talk about tampons with me, Matty?"

"Oh please, get me out of here."

"Put your coat on, baby, we're leaving." Severide announced by pushing the wheelchair out of the room.

_"We are Love_   
_We are One_   
_We are how we treat each other when the day is done._   
_We are Peace_   
_We are War_   
_We are how we treat each other and nothing more"_

The orange sky greets Casey outside the hospital, he walks beside Severide to the car, crossing the empty parking lot at that time. Suddenly he notices something wrong, stops walking, Severide looks at him.

"Matty, what is it?" He turns to the omega, searching for the reason for his sudden stop.

"He saw you that night in my house..."

"Who saw me?" Severide asks confused.

"Hank Voight saw you." A strange sense of panic comes over Casey. "He knows about you, Sev."

"What does he know about me? Matty what are you talking about?"

"I don't know what he can do, so please be careful, Kelly ..." He rubs his face trying to calm down. "He can try to hurt you and ..."

Severide notices Casey's distress and approaches him to try to calm him down. "It's okay, Matty. No one is going to hurt me. Now tell me, this Voight, did he threaten you?"

"No, it's just ..." He regains his cool. "I need to make a stop at some drugstore, I think." He walks back to Severide's car. The alpha follows him, he'll investigate further about this Voight later.

_"To be bold, to be brave._   
_It is the thinking that the heart can still be saved_   
_And the darkness can come quick_   
_The dangers in the anger and the hanging on to it."_

Casey picks what he needs quietly, grateful that Severide lets him do it alone. Suddenly the alpha appears between the shelves with a pacifier in its mouth.

"God! What are you doing?" Casey pretends to be angry, but he's laughing at the ridiculous situation.

"I'm helping you choose." Severide twirls the pacifier between his fingers. "Are you taking this? It really calms babies."

"Since when do you understand babies?"

"Well, I don't know, I read it somewhere." He says casually, Casey frowns.

"Have you been reading about babies, Kelly?"

"I read about many things, Matty. Come on, man, i want to be a 'daddy' someday. Do you want it or not?"

"No, it's too early for that." He hides the pack of tampons next to his body.

"We should be prepared ... I mean you should be prepared. I read that babies cry a lot in their early days ..."

"So now you're an expert on babies?"

"I read, I told you ..."

"Sports column is not much about babies, Severide." 

"Ow, grumpy huh? You should try one of these, it would do well."

"You know you have to buy this one, right?"

"Oh I really needed one of those. Do you think Matty Jr. will like this?"

"Who?"

"Your baby ... Our little guy here." Severide approaches and lightly touches his belly. Casey feels his face burn, it's the first time someone touch his belly, and it's Severide who is doing it, he looks around and walks away from the alpha.

"You've put it in your mouth, it's all yours now." Casey goes to the cashier and pays, leaving Severide behind.

_"To be bold, to be brave;  
It is the thinking that the heart can still be saved.  
And the darkness can come quick;  
The Danger's in the Anger and the hanging on to it"_

The drive home is quiet, it's dark by the time when they get to Casey's house.

"It's cold in here." Severide complains as he puts Casey's bag in a corner.

"The heater is defective." Casey goes to the kitchen and looks around, he's looking for something.

"Mind if I take a look?"

"I already tried, but feel free."

Severide disappears down the hallway while Casey looks at his kitchen, is a little too organized, he had left some glasses on the sink, they are no longer there, someone was here while he was in the hospital.

Without alarming the alpha, he walks through the rest of the house, the bed is unmade the way he left it, the blanket still tossed over the couch, but there is a different smell in the air that is not his.

But the smell is not from Voight either, it was not him that was here.

Severide comes back down the hall, a strange smile on his lips. "I fixed." Walking to the thermostat and adjusting the heating inside the house. "Ta-dá"

"Thank you." Casey mumbles, still trying to mask his expression of fear. "I'm going to get some sleep and..."

"Do you want something to eat? I can cook something or we can order a pizza ..."

"No, I'm very tired, I'm just going to lie here and sleep until tomorrow." He says pushing Severide away. "If you don't mind Kelly ..."

Severide looks at him from the doorway, a strange look of confusion. "Do you want me to leave, Matty?"

"If you don't mind, I just need to sleep and ..." He looks at the stairs, maybe the strange intruder is still there. "Thanks for the ride, but I really need to rest now."

Severide is disappointed, Casey feels worse, but he needs to get the alpha away from here, his house is not safe now.

Severide turns to leave, but comes back and looks at Casey. "This guy, Voight, is he right? Is he the guy who...? You said it was nothing, but you're trying to fix things with him, right? Is that why you don't want me here, Matty? "

"Kelly ..."

"It's okay, I swear it's just ... You don't have to act like this, I won't mess up with this guy." He is quite offended now. "I know you're trying to fix things with him and… I won't get in your way. Just tell him he's being an idiot with you now and, you deserve something better than that…Someone who respects you ..." Severide takes some air. "He shouldn't leave you alone now and suggest you an abortion, Matty."

"Kelly is nothing like that ..."

"If you need anything you can call me or Shay, whatever." Severide closes the door as he leaves leaving Casey alone again.

After Severide leaves, Casey checks the house, but it's empty. Awkwardly, he sits on the couch and curls up in the blanket rubbing his belly where Severide touched a few hours ago, feeling his fingers warm for the first time in weeks.

Alone, he let himself in tears, was so close to the alpha, and now, definitely, too far from him. Nothing he can do to fix things and tell Severide about how's feeling.

Later that night Casey found the pacifier Severide used on the pharmacy over his purse, the alpha had actually bought it.

_"Tell me what it is that you see_   
_A world that's filled with endless possibilities?_   
_Heroes don't look they used to, they look like you do."_


	10. Let me be your shelter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ramblers in the wilderness we can't find what we need  
Get a little restless from the searching  
Get a little worn down in between  
Like a bull chasing the matador is the man left to his own schemes  
Everybody needs someone beside em' shining like a lighthouse from the sea."

_"Let me be your shelter"_

Was an quiet night shift, Casey spent the rest of it in his office, waiting to come back home. Now that Severide has fixed the heater he has been sleeping a little better, so tired that not even Voight's threats keep him from sleeping lately.

Speaking of the devil, he hears the cell phone vibrate, on the screen an unknown number, he does not answer it, turns off and leaves it on the table. He got nothing to say to Voight.

Severide didn't knock on his door, he just walked in and threw himself on Matt's bed. "How is it going?" He asks casually, Casey watches him.

"Um, well, fine. How about you?"

"Good."

"The baby...?" 

Casey looks out, making sure no one can hear them. "I haven't talked about it to Chef yet, so ..."

"I hear you're having trouble with a report, what happened?"

"Nothing, it's fine."

"Does that have to do with the guy in your house that night? Hank Voight, who happens to be the father of your son, Casey." Severide ends his reasoning with a frown. "Want to explain it to me?"

"No, I don't." He looks around to make sure no one is listening to this conversation. "Are we friends again, Sev?" He tries to change the subject.

Severide sits on the bed and looks Matt in the eyes. "I can't even imagine you getting involved with people like Voight."

"What do you know about him, Severide?"

"Enough, and if you are in any kind of relationship with this guy... "

"That's not your problem, Kelly. Just stay away from it." Casey goes back to work ignoring Severide in the room. "I solve my own problems..."

"Yes, I know you can, I saw the way he left you last time!"

"You know what?" Casey gets up. "I appreciate your help, but don't get into my life, Kelly. I can handle it." He says, willing to end this discussion.

The alpha gets up and walks to the door, but turns to Casey before leaving. "Hope you know what you're doing, Matty."

"Are you worried about me now, Kelly?"

"But of course I am! I'm worried about you all the time, Matty!" Severide shouts back without realizing what he is revealing. "Damn it!" He leaves the omega room, Matt follows him down the hallway.

"Kelly!" He calls, but Severide ignores him. "Kelly!"

A fire call forces him to run to the truck, Severide is already in the rescue truck either. A man got stuck on the roof of a building trying to spray it, nothing serious, just an idle vandal. Severide went up to help him, Casey remained on the ground watching.

He didn't notice the black car approaching, so Hank Voight is standing beside him. "You should answer my calls, Lieutenant." The alpha's cavernous voice makes him shiver, but he remains calm.

"I don't remember having something to talk to you, Voight."

"It's Detective Voight." Voight looks up to Severide. "Yes, we can do it here if you want. Everyone will know what kind of bitch their lieutenant is."

Casey looks around, his whole team is looking at them. Severide has already rescued the graffiti artist and is taking the elevator down with him. "What you want?"

"Your report..."

"Threatening me doesn't change things," he says, returning to watch Severide. "Just leave me!"

"He's a good boy. He's been going through some trouble since his mother, my wife died last year ..." The alpha says quietly. Casey keeps his arms crossed over his chest. "Still you filed the report saying my son caused that accident."

"He did that." Casey says impassively.

"Listen, omega, I can take it to another level quickly."

Casey blinks rapidly, taking in another of Voight's threats. "Still, it doesn't change what he did. If your son is in trouble you should help him, not threaten people around, Hank."

Voight rubs his face impatiently. "I don't think I'm being very clear here, Lieutenant, I'm not asking it."

"Yes, you were clear, and I'm being too, I won't change my report, you're wasting your time trying to scare me!"

"What's your price? Tell me, I can help you. I saw the shit where you live, your pay is no big deal, I can help you."

"I don't need your money." Casey responds offended. "I'm working here and you're pissing me off!" Casey loses his temper, he steps away from Voight, but the alpha grabs his arm, before the omega can react he's taken from Voight by someone else, it's Severide.

"Don't touch him!" Severide growls dangerously, Voight is surprised, yet he looks back at Casey with a dangerous smile on his lips.

"And who are you?" He looks Kelly up and down. "His bodyguard?"

"Severide doesn't..." Casey tries to intervene, he knows how to protect himself, doesn't need help.

"Stay away from him!" Severide growls again without retreating.

Voight still has that demonic smile on his lips, Casey fears a fight between the two alphas, he holds Severide by the arm and asks in his sweetest voice.

"It's fine, Kelly. He's already leaving." He pulls Severide away, Voight remains standing there.

"Kelly, huh? 'Your' Kelly?"

Severide turns to him. " What are you saying?"

"Severide!" Casey shouts, a fight between alphas could be fatal.

"Didn't he tell you? Our lieutenant here moaned your name while I fucked his brains out." Voight says. Without his being able to react a punch knocks him down, Severide punched him.

_"I'll never leave you all alone_  
_I can be the one you call_  
_When you're low_  
_Brother let me be your fortress_  
_When the night winds are driving on_  
_Be the one to light the way_  
_Bring you home"_

Shay opened the door to find Casey is leaning against the doorframe, a sad look on his face. She just points to the corner of the room where Severide is sitting. 

Casey walks over there and sits beside him in silence. "I'm so sorry ..." he mumbles. "I talked to Chief Boden about his suspension, he promised to take it easy, Kelly."

"I'm fine." Severide responds by rubbing his fingers. "That idiot deserved it."

"I know, but I don't want you get hurt because of me, Hank Voight is an idiot, but he can really hurt you. It's not worth it, Sev."

"Can you hear yourself? He was threatening you and you tell me it's not worth it, Matty? Who made you believe you're not worth it?"

Casey blushes. "I just ... I don't want you to have problems because of me, Kelly, that's all."

"I'm big enough to know how to protect me."

"Me too, I can handle Voight and..."

"Why did not you tell me?"

"What?"

"About what he said ...Did you said my name, Matty?"

"He was just teasing you ..." Casey gets up, embarrassed, Severide stands in front of him. "He is just teasing you..."

Severide also gets up and shoves his hands in his pockets. "I don't like the way he talks to you, Matty." He admits without looking into Casey's eyes. "No one should speak to you like that."

"No one but you, Kelly?"

Severide shrugs, embarrassed. "I know I've been an asshole with you, but I want to fix things and ..."

"Do you want?" Casey's eyes are watery, he simply pulls Severide into a hug.

_"I know that in my weakness I am stronger_  
_It's your love that brings me home"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never written about 'omega heat' before, but it will definitely happen here.


	11. I don't know why we break this way...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Congratulations, by the way.  
There’s nothing better than being a father.”  
Hank Voight

_ " Do you understand_  
_This ache inside I'm holding so tight_  
_I could lose my mind_  
_Two hearts beating_  
_To different tunes_  
_You got me falling apart" _

Severide's hard, callused hands gently touch the bare skin of Casey's back. The omega moans back against the alpha's lips. The alpha's touch making him shudder and surrender to the moment, like two naked teenagers touching for the first time. Casey doesn't want to miss this moment, but he doesn't know how to continue either. Severide pulls away and watches him, Casey feels insecure, knows that the alpha is watching all its defects and evaluating whether it is worth continuing or not. 

He doesn't want Severide to think about it, doesn't want him to give up on that moment, just because Casey is a bad omega. He wants this moment, and he wants it so desperately that he kisses Severide's lips, clasping his hands tightly around his neck.  
Severide's lips won't let him, wet mouths meeting lovingly, Casey grabs him stronger, sliding his fingers over the alpha's broad shoulders, looking for his warmth, his protection ...  
Being in the same bed with Severide seems too unreal for his mind to process, so he gets lost again, Severide is everything he ever wanted even if he is just an ugly, broken omega with nothing to offer.

Severide's blue eyes are on him and he just wants to disappear into the darkness of the room, his body is clumsy, scarred and now flaccid by pregnancy, is not pretty to look at, he knows that.

He tries to look safe and pleasant, instinctively letting the omega inside him act, he holds Severide's hand and guides it to his belly rubbing slowly, as if trying to show the alpha his son. Severide does not resist, he touches Casey's belly as the omega wishes, suddenly the blue of his eyes become turquoise, dangerously protective. Casey is acting like an omega in danger and needy again, he hates it but can't help it, not when Severide is touching him that way.

Then the alpha slides a hand over his sensitive chest. Casey moans accidentally, closing his eyes and enjoying as much as he can of that moment. Severide leans over and kisses the nipple, placing it gently between his lips, he suck it slowly, Casey keeps his eyes closed, pressed tightly. Severide doesn't touch his body below the waist yet and Casey thanks him for that, he's still wearing pads and that would be weird to show. 

He wonders if this is real, if Severide's hands are really touching him, his scent. He doesn't want to miss anything ... But then he remembers Severide saying it would never happen and opens his eyes to make sure it's really happening.

Intoxicated by desire and confused by the need to please the alpha, he does something he would regret later, with a trembling and insecure hand, he fumbles over Severide's jeans and holds his dick, he's hard, Severide moans in response.

Taking that as a good sign, he continues, spins them on the bed getting over Severide and down to his waist, the alpha doesn't stop him. Casey unzips his jeans and prepares to have it between his lips. 

"Casey, what are you doing?"

All the horny fog disappears and Casey feels ridiculous, he sits on the bed while Severide zips up quickly his jeans.

Casey doesn't know what he's done wrong this time, he just gets up and looks for his shirt thrown on the floor.

"Matty..." Severide also stands and tries to stop him, in vain, Casey is too embarrassed to stay here. "Hey, it's fine, I just ... I don't want you to feel forced or ..."

"I will ... Damn! I gotta go." Without further embarrassing explanations he is gone.

He is definitely not good at this.

_"So this is what it is  
I close the door tonight  
You have a piece of me  
But I still have what's mine  
No more questions why"_

Shay came running as soon as she heard the door slam, a rescue mania she had. She finds Severide standing in the living room, shirtless.

"What's up? Where's Matt?"

"He's gone." Severide says confused. "He just run..."

"What've you done, Kelly?" She runs to open the window and try to see Casey below.

"Nothing. We were talking ... and ... Damn!"

Unable to see Casey downstairs she closes the window and looks at Severide again. "Do you always take off your clothes to talk to someone?"

"No. He came to say thank you and things got weird." He says crossing his arms over his chest.

"Strange how?"

"He and I ... It shouldn't be like that, not out of gratitude, I think ..."

"Did you tell him that, Kelly?"

"He didn't give me time."

"What's wrong with you guys?" She says taking the coat and leaving.

_"I need to hear you say it's over_   
_The touch that you gave felt colder_   
_I need to see your face one more time_   
_But if your heart's changed_   
_Could you make mine cause"_

Hurriedly, Casey walks through the busy streets of Chicago toward his home, his vision blurred and his mind too high for him to realize he is being followed. 

"Why the hurry, bitch?"

He feels strong hands pressed against his back, two men, one holding him and the other standing in front of him. Hank Voight, and Casey is happy to see the bruise on his face caused by the punch Severide gave him.

"What you want?" He asks rhetorically, knows well what Voght wants, but he does anyway, they are in the middle of the street and he knows that voight can do nothing against him here, or at least he hopes not.

"Something of mine that is accidentally in you." The alpha growls in response, he points a finger at Casey's belly, the omega following him with his eyes as the other man holds him by the neck. "My friend here will solve this for me. I hope you don't mind, Lieutenant."

"Will you make me abort here in the middle of the street, Hank?" Casey challenges, doubting Voight's sanity.

"It's a violent city, people are attacked every day in Chicago." Voight says quietly this time. "Do you know that, huh?"

"That doesn't change anything about my report." Casey doesn't back down. "How can you love one son so much and kill the other like this?"

"Do you really think I want a son of you? A worthless omega like you?" Voight smells him and makes a face of disgust. "You stink!" He says smelling another alpha over him. "Where's your friend to protect you now?"

"You said isn't your son!"

"That's not the point, sooner or later you will knock on my door asking for help, and child support, huh, that's not my thing, think of it as a favor, I know you don't have much shit to give this kid too."

"I'm not asking you for anything." Casey tries to get rid of the other man, but he holds it harder.

"Just as a guarantee."

"You cannot do that, Hank!"

"Not me, but my friend here can. Have fun." The alpha moves away, Casey struggles against the man who holds him. 

"I will!" He screams, desperate. "Did you hearit, Voight? I'll change my report."

Voight stops and looks back at him. "It doesn't matter anymore, nothing matter now!" Voight approaches him again. "Because of you my son goes to jail, so when my friend here breaks up with you we'll be even, Lieutenant. You messed with the wrong alpha, bitch!""

_"Heartbeat is racing fast  
No I won't call you back  
So this is what it is  
I close the door tonight  
You have a piece of me  
But I still have what's mine"_

The next morning a runner found Casey's limp body lying in the park, motionless and covered in mud.

"Help! Someone!" The scared runner screams to anyone who can hear him, he checks his breath for vital signs, Casey is cold. "Help!" He screams again and then Casey reaches out and tries to hold his hand.

"My baby, help my baby ..." He mumbles then faints.

“Don’t you dare die on me, man!”

Shay's soft voice reached him, even though he didn't see her, he could hear her. There was also the sharp, sharp pain in his hips where he was kicked several times before being thrown on the grass of the park. He breathes hard, but is alive for sure and being examined and punctured and medicated repeatedly. All he wants to know now is if his baby is okay, if he has resisted the punches and kicks he received.

Voight wouldn't be stupid to kill him, but he can hurt Casey in thousands of other ways, making him abort is one of them. He wants to ask questions but the oxygen mask only lets him mumble rambling words, and then the world goes dark again.

He heard her cry...

Shay's small, delicate hands held him, he could feel her. Trapped somewhere between lucidity and daydream, he tries to keep his eyes open, it's all so calm around, no hurry, no doctors, nothing, just him and Shay in the room. 

Her eyelids are swollen and sore, a taste of blood permeates his mouth.

"It's fine, you're fine, Matt." She says when she realizes he is awake. "The baby too, he's fine, Matt. Shhh you can sleep, it's fine."

Casey takes a deep breath and lets the darkness take him again.

_"You have a piece of me_   
_But I still have what's mine"_

Someone else is in the room when he wakes up again, a stranger man. He is sitting in a chair by the bed where Casey is. He doesn't know who this man is, or what he's doing here, slowly Casey raises his hand and tries to sit up.

"Hey, calm down, it's fine." The man gets up and tries to touch him, Casey dodges, the man steps back with his arms raised. "Alright, alright. I won't touch you. My name is Antonio Dawson, I'm a cop, I came here to help you."

"How can I believe that?" Casey moans, his whole body hurts. "Did Voight send you here to finish his job?"

"No, your friend Shay called me, I don't work for Voight, Casey."

The man looks at him with pity, Casey knows he's screwed. "Shay?"

"Yes, she told me about your problem with Voight. I can help you."

"And what do you want in return?"

"Put Hank Voight in jail, that's allI want."

_"Do you understand_   
_This ache inside I'm holding so tight_   
_I could lose my mind"_


	12. On your own

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, you can't hear me cry  
See my dreams all die

_"Listen to me baby_   
_It won't take long_   
_You're the one I want_   
_We're here in a moment_   
_Even if the sun turns black and the sky falls down"_

Casey came in as soon as the operator called him through the speaker, there was someone waiting for him at the barracks entrance. He went carefully, expecting to find one of Voight's henchmen waiting there.

"Detective Dawson?" He breathes a sigh of relief when he finds the cop there.

"You don't answer my calls. I thought I'd stop here and talk to you in person."

Casey looks around, he points to the office and Antonio accompanies him.

"I thought you would call me back, Lieutenant." Antonio says when Casey closes the office door.

"I did not promise anything, Detective."

"I know, but I didn't think a man like you would let Hank Voight out unharmed after what he did to you."

"A man like me? You don't know anything about me."

"I know you challenged him and that already tells me a lot about you, Casey." Antonio points to him. "You are very brave."

Casey feels unexpectedly unarmed. "He tried to kill my ... My son, he must really think he did that, I won't risk it that way anymore."

"He'll find out sooner or later, and believe me, he won't give up until he gets what he wants. Men like Hank Voight need to be stopped."

"I don't know how to help you, officer Dawson."

"Call me Antonio. Is your baby all right?"

Casey then realizes that he is covering his belly with his hands. "What do you want me to do, Antonio?"

"What did you do that pissed him off so much?" Antonio takes a small notebook from his pocket and starts writing on it.

"I got pregnant." Casey says bluntly. "His."

At that moment Antonio dropped his arms to the side, the booklet fell from his hand, and the policeman was strangely silent. "What?"

Casey brought him a coffee mug, they're in a cafe next to the firehouse.

"And how did you two meet, Casey?"

"I had some problems, I ended up drinking too much and ... That's all worth telling about it. I know we use condoms, but I can't explain how it happened. I talked to him, was going to have an abortion, but I thought he had a right to know before, he told me to disappear. Days later, we answered a call, an accident, in one of the cars was Voight's son Justin. The boy was drunk, I put it in my report, so Voight came looking for me. "

"Justin is in prison."

"Yes, and he wants to kill my son now, who is also his son." Casey says sadly.

"I never thought Voight was the kind of person who takes advantage of omegas, don't get me wrong, he is a scoundrel in many ways, but we have omegas in the police force, none of them ever having problems with him before."

Casey smiles, he has heard it before. "He's an alpha at the end of the day and ... Alphas do it, it's their nature." Casey hasn't defined Antonio's gender, but he knows he's not an omega like him. "You must know that."

"I don't blame instinct for anyone's mistakes, Casey, if he forced you ..."

"Blame it on the alcohol then, we both drink a lot and we are adult enough to know the risks. It has not forced me to anything, it is more likely that I have forced a little, my heat is not regular, I didn't have one in many years, my body may just have taken advantage of the gap."

"And why did you decide to keep the baby?"

"I don't know, now it's too late to do anything."

"Even being Voight's son?"

"It's my son too." Casey says defensive.

"Does anyone else know that?"

"Shay ..." Severide too, but he doesn't say it. "And I intend to keep it that way."Antonio looks shaken by the revelation of Casey, the firefighter realizes this. "What is your relationship with Voight, Antonio?"

Antonio smiles tiredly. "None, I can't tolerate corrupt cops like him, that's all."

"You said you want to put Voight in prison, why? He didn't force me ..."

"I have proof of everything he's been doing in this city, but Voight still has a lot of influence, important people, it's a long walk, but he's going to pay for all the shit he's been doing."

"I appreciate your altruism Antonio, but I can't risk my son again, I almost lost him twice, I won't let it happen."

"He won't leave you alone, believe me, he'll come after you. Your son, your friends, Casey."

Casey is called on the radio, he needs to go back to the barracks. "I gotta go."

When they got back to the barracks, Casey saw Severide's car parked, had forgotten that the other lieutenant would be back at work today.

Shay knocked lightly on the door before entering the locker room, Casey was brushing his teeth.

"Hi, I saw Antonio here earlier."

"He came to talk to me."

"Good, he's an honest man, Matt, that's why I spoke to him. He can help you."

"I don't know how, Shay."

"He will find a way." She looks at him, Casey feels embarrassed to be watched so closely. 

"What?"

"You and Severide ..."

"Nothing happened." He avoids the subject. "We dind't talk since that night..."

"I saw him shirtless in the room ..." she teases. Casey washes his toothbrush. "I don't usually take off my clothes to talk to girls."

"I tried to suck him and ... It didn't work out very well." He confesses miserably.

"What? Matthew Casey you little bitch!" She jokes, but there's no humor on it. "Sorry, I said it without thinking."

"Alright, nothing new here."

"What's up Matt, you're not a bitch for wanting sex!"

"Apparently I am." He put the tooth brush in a small bag. "Can we just pretend none of this happened? I'm already too embarrassed."

"And why? You didn't do anything wrong! I think about sex all the time!"

Casey smiles. "Lots of information, Shay!"

"Well, I like it and so should you. Maybe so ..."

"Maybe that way I wouldn't be pregnant now and the only man I ever loved avoided me like the plague, right?"

Then he realizes he has said too much, Shay stares at him in surprise. "Oh."

"Shay no ..."

"I won't say anything, I knew it, but now it's so real."

"Trust me, it's real enough, and now he think i'm an 'dick slut'.

"He never..."

"I know he is your friend, you don't have to defend him, I don't blame him. I'm the only idiot here."

Shay is silent just looking at him. "Damn it, Casey! You have no idea how good you are, do you?"

"I'm not..." Casey responds, embarrassed. Shay holds his face and looks into his eyes.

"Yes, you are, and you're the only one who can't see that."

They were still talking in the locker room when a noise in one of the maintenance cabinets catches their attention, Casey goes ahead checking, noises like that are not uncommon, there are rats all over the barracks, Shay follows him. When they opened the door they came across Severide and the new secretary, fucking there.

_"I will be strong if you're strong_   
_Cause you are my heartbeat_   
_What can go wrong can go wrong_   
_You're my everything, so..."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, Antonio is in town! <3


	13. I don't know how to feel.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're in my head  
Always, always"

_"What am I supposed to do without you?_   
_Is it too late to pick the pieces up?_   
_Too soon to let them go?_   
_Do you feel damaged just like I do?_   
_Your face, it makes my body ache_   
_It won't leave me alone"_

Many days have passed since he was caught in the act with the boss's secretary inside the closet, it was a passing affair, without any compromise, but since then he can't get excited about anyone else. 

Matt didn't react, didn't scream, didn't make a scene in that locker room, he just looked the other way.  
He ended up treating Severide well the next day and asked how he was doing, didn't ask about what he saw in that closet, nor did he show any interest in why Severide did that.  
Severide hates that silence, she hates to see that Matt feels nothing for what he saw. He hates to see Antonio coming and going with Matt in the late afternoon, hates to see the smile on Matt's face whenever the cop arrives. He hates having to call him a tramp sometimes, even if only in his thoughts, he hates having no more weapons to attack him, because Matt is unable to respond or fight. He hates Matt's lack of passion to debate as before, he hates himself for thinking of Matt that way.

So many things he hates now that he can barely list them, so he attacks, offends and tries to keep Matt away, when in fact he just wants to hear his voice again. He hates Matt for not even trying to get him to talk ... For giving up so easily what they were trying to do.

But nobody is going to know that because Kelly Severide doesn't talk about it. And he doesn't do relationships, he doesn't raise other people's children, he doesn't want broken omegas, and ... He's so broken that he can barely see in how many pieces he's broken, there's no room for Matt inside him.

They are back to square one, and Severide knows he is acting like an idiot to him again. More and more offending him, and the good Matt is offering no resistance.

Then he drives his confused feelings away and leaves only anger on the surface, and with that he attacks Matt and tries to show how useless he is, because Matt knows how to make him feel weak and unprotected and an alpha should never feel that way.

This is his mode of defense and nothing will change him, not even the fact that he can only sleep when he smells Matt's faint scent on his sheets.  
He decides not to negotiate with his own feelings, he just ignores everything, but Matt's scent he is unable to ignore and it has gotten worse in the last few days.

When Shay called asking him to check on Matt, he almost hung up the phone, but something inside him made him come over and knock on the omega door. No reply. There are newspapers stacked on the porch and the outside light stays on even during the day, so he insists and calls on and on.

He knows Matt's problems with Voight, it makes him break open the back door and enter the omega's house by force.

"Matt!" He screams, unanswered. "You better be home, Matty!"

When he enters the room, the strong smell almost makes him come back, Matt is sitting on the floor against the couch, surrounded by trash and used clothes, definitely in heat.

The omega only wears sweatpants and his belly is visibly bigger now, he tries to get up, Severide can see how sweaty and red he is.

"I'm... Don't look at me now." Matt's trying to look calm, but he's shaking. "What are you ...? I was cleaning and... Sorry for the mess..."

He approaches Severide and his scent gets stronger, the alpha moves away from him. There's that expression on Matt's face again, rejection.

"Sorry, I'm going to take a shower and ... I'm fine, thanks for coming to check on me, Sev. Did something happen? Do I need to go there?" Matt's voice is coiled and low. "I'm going to get my keys." He says, covering his nipples with one arm. "I'm going to clean this up, I'm going to organize things and then we can go ..." Bent over, he heads for the kitchen, Severide just following him from a distance.

Matt is an extremely organized person, something is very wrong for him to be sitting on that dirty floor.

"I'm going to make a coffee, will you? There's not much here, I forgot to buy and ... I never remember going to the supermarket, I need to review this."

"Matt." Severide calls him, but the omega doesn't hear him and keeps looking for something in the kitchen.

"I ate yesterday, I know I'm getting fat, but now I'm very hungry. I try not to overdo it, you were right, I gained a lot of weight and, that can't be good." He explains. "There's nothing here, I never get visitors, but I can go out and buy you something, Kel, I won't be long."

"Matt, I didn't come to visit you." He speaks louder than he would like, so he has Matt's attention, the omega stops and looks at him, his eyes are feverish and red.

"No, of course not, no one comes to visit me. But I can cook something and ... Can you eat with me? I don't like to eat alone, I can sit on the floor if I want, I make a noise when I'm eating, I know that you don't like Sev, I don't mind eating on the floor."

Severide squints, doesn't know what Matt is talking about. The confused omega is still walking around the kitchen looking for something to do.

"What?"

"I heard you tell Otis about me making a noise when I eat something, sorry, I didn't realize ..."

"No, Matty, listen, I was being an idiot, okay?"

Casey doesn't seem to be listening to him.

“I asked for a day off and Boden was not very happy, is that why you came here? Did he ask you to come? I just need one day, I'm tired and this fever doesn't go down, it must be a cold, it will pass soon. "

Severide wants to tell him to be quiet and sit down, but she is afraid to approach him now.

"Matt!" He calls again. "You know you're in heat, don't you?"

"No, I don't have these things, and I'm already pregnant and omegas don't go into heat when they're pregnant. It's just a fever, Sev."

Severide looks around the house, everything is dirty and messy as if it had been turned on purpose. In a corner of the sofa is a shopping bag, with the logo of a children's clothing store. He turns to Matt and sees him trying to fill a glass with water, but his shaking hands drop the glass.

Confused and incoherent, Matt tries to pick up the pieces, but steps on one of them. "You cut yourself you idiot!" He growls unintentionally. Matt looks at him confused.

Severide approaches to help him and helps the omega to sit on the sofa.

"Sorry, it doesn't hurt, it's fine, I don't feel anything, Sev."

Severide uses his shirt to stop the blood. "When it start, Matt?"

"What?" Matt's eyes are glassy. "What started?"

"Don't be stupid! You're in heat!"

"Hm. That should be it then ..."

"What?"

"My baby is so agitated, he's hurting my ribs." Matt says casually as if he's drunk or high.

Severide goes to the bathroom and looks for a first aid box, does not find, when passing through the room he comes across a widely used wooden crib placed in a corner, some bags like the one on the living room scattered on the floor from the same cheap clothes store. 

Returning to Matt he finds the omega with one hand under his pants, he does not even notice Severide there by his side, is caressing himself slowly.

Matt's scent starts coming at him and Severide walks away trying to avoid it, he goes back to the bathroom and turns on the shower, Matt needs a bath.

"You need to clean up, Matt." He says as he returns to the room. "Needs a shower."

Matt gets up slowly and goes to the bathroom, Severide following him at a safe distance, but without touching him.

"Am I stinking? Sorry ..."

"Stop apologizing and get in there."

"Thank you, Kelly."

"For what?"

"To take care of me, nobody takes care of me." Matt is so out of his mind that he believes Severide's taking care of him. "I can make dinner later if you stay."

"Do you want me to stay, Matt?"

"Yes." Matt says taking off his pants, he has no underwear underneath, but does not seem to care now. "I want to."

"And why?" Severide is well aware that it is the heat speaking, but even so he asks.

"I don't know, I'm so tired of being alone." He gets under the shower, the cold water makes him moan, his skin is burning from the inside out.

While Matt washes, Severide goes to the kitchen and tries to organize the place. He looks for food, but all he finds are small frozen portions with set dates, one per day, some cheap cookies and milk. Nothing really healthy for a pregnant person.

He returns to the bedroom and finds Matt lying naked on the bed wrapped in the bath towel.

"You have to get dressed, Matt."

"I'm tired." Matt mumbles against the pillow.

"Are you still hungry?"

"I already ate today..." He slips into a forced and turbulent sleep. 

_"And this feels like drowning_   
_Trouble sleeping_   
_Restless dreaming"_

Shay hung up as soon as Severide started screaming on the other end of the phone, and then didn't answer any more. The angry alpha had cleaned Matt's kitchen while the omega slept. And now he's screaming in Shay's mailbox as Matt watches from the corner of the room.

"You can go, I'm fine." The omega says quietly, he's dressed and less flushed than before. "It's fine, Severide, thanks for coming." 

Embarrassed, Severide just shrugs. "I ordered pizza, you need to eat, you promised me dinner if I stayed, I stayed."

"Fine, I pay. You don't have to stay." Casey is quite lucid now.

"Do you want me to call your cop friend to come over here, Casey?" He asks angrily.

"Who?"

"Dawson. Do you want him here?"

"No, he wouldn't come here, Sev."

"Why do you say that?"

"Why would he come, Severide?"

"Because you're in heat and, well, he might want to help with that."

Matt blushes, a pale smile on his lips. "No, he doesn't come. Not for that reason."

_"You're in my head_   
_Always, always_   
_I just got scared away, away"_

Matt sat on the corner of the couch to eat a piece of pizza, Severide paid the delivery boy before he could get to the door. They ate in silence.

"These clothes ..." He refers to the bags he saw before.

A cheerful smile forms on Matt's lips. "It's for the baby, Shay helped me choose."

"I saw the crib in your bedroom ..."

"Yes, it was my sister's, it was in the basement, I can't buy a new one now, so I'll use that."

Severide put the rest of the pizza in the fridge, Matt was behind him, following him like a frightened child.

"You cleaned it up, Sev ..."

"Yeah, it was all shit!"

"Sorry, they mess everything over, I fix it but the next day it's all messed again."

"Who?"

"I don't know, maybe Voight's men, but I don't know well. Are you leaving now?"

"Do you want me to leave, Matt?"

"It's not safe for you to stay here." He says looking out the window.

"Is it safe for you?"

"I'm already used to it, besides, Antonio will come if Voight tries to get in here."

Severide looks around, he needs to do something.

"Get your things, I can't leave you here." But he doesn't know if he wants to protect him from Voight or Antonio's possible visit.

"Where are we going, Kelly?"

"You'll be with me for a while."

Because at he end of the day, Matt is the only one who can put his broken parts together and make him feel complete, but he won't say that.

_"Cracks won't fix and the scars won't fade away_   
_Guess I should get used to this_   
_The left side of my bed, an empty space_   
_I remember we were strangers_   
_So tell me what's the difference_   
_Between then and now"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't explain much, but Severide has never had an omega before, he also doesn't know how to put his shit together and make it work. Patience with him.


	14. Chasing feelings

Casey is breathing hard as Severide finally parks his car next to the cabin. He had been asleep all the way, sighing occasionally, red and sweating nonstop. The alpha itself is panting, Casey's scent is making him dizzy, he strives to keep his mind clear and conscious. Driving for over two hours with an omega in heat smelling amazingly good by his side has been a supernatural effort.

"Where are we, Kel?" Casey mumbled.

"It's Benny's cabin, nobody comes here." He responds by looking around the house before getting out of the car.

"Will you leave me here?" 

"It's a safe place, don't worry." Severide gets out of the car and walks to the door of the cabin, Casey follow with slow steps. "You'll be safe here, Casey." He opens the door and goes in, Casey looks around, the cabin is old but well maintained.

"Okay..."

"There's a room over there, third door, you can rest there, I won't disturb you, Casey." Severide says coldly.

The sound of tires made Severide get up and run to the cabin entrance, before he could say anything, Shay jumped out of the car and ran to him.

"Where is he?"

"In the back ..." He points to a closed wooden door, Shay breathes a sigh of relief.

"You're such a fool, Kelly! How can you cross town with an omega in heat? Do you have any idea how stupid that was?" 

Severide signals her to calm down. "Shhh... What did you want me to do? Leave him there alone?"

"And will you leave him alone here now?" She is still exalted.

"No, I won't. That's why I called you. Did you bring what I ordered? 

Shay takes the keys from his pocket and shoots him. "In the trunk. I can can take a look at him while you ..."

Severide growls involuntarily, Shay is taken aback. "Don't show your teeth to me, Kelly Severide!" She warns. "You better choose your words more carefully." 

"Sorry, I ... I'm going crazy."

Shay rubs her face, letting the initial anger flow out of. "I'm not invading your territory, alpha, I came to help." She said, low and dangerous. "This place smells of smoke."

Casey is lying silent in the dark, Shay holds her breath for a moment, the scent of the omega is too strong, smells like smoke, and it is not pleasant to her.

"Matt?" She calls softly. "Matty?"

Casey opens his eyes and turns to her. "Hi ..." His voice sounds hoarse and tired. "How long did I sleep?"

She bites her bottom lip, unsure how to start this conversation. "You didn't sleep, Matt. You passed out. Kelly asked me to check on you."

Casey's eyes are alert and scared now. "I passed out? Why?"

"You may be dehydrated. When was the last time you ate or drink something?"

"I eat all the time." He sits, hands on his belly. "Could this have anything to do with the baby?"

"Can I take a look at you?"

"Yes." With a groan, he forces himself to sit.

She approaches the bed, Casey turns on the lamp light. Shay bends down and examines him, touches his face. "You're pale." She checks his temperature. "How long have you been in heat, Matty?"

"Two days, I think." He shrugs. Some bruises are still visible on Casey's skin, Shay plays slowly, feeling the small volume there, her cold hands are a relief in his warm skin, he lets out a sigh of pleasure and blushes then. "Sorry I..."

"You're in heat, don't apologize for that, but...This shouldn't be happening, Matty, you're four months pregnant, a heat now is unnatural."

"I'm going crazy, Shay, and I hate this feeling." 

"That's okay Matt, we'll take care of you."

"Can you tell me if my baby is okay, Shay?"

"I can't guarantee anything, I need to get you to the hospital, but I don't know if I can let you out of here now."

"Can he feel it? Is that hurting him, Shay?" He swallowed hard, trying to ignore the growing fear in his gut.

"I don't know, Matty." She responds in distress that she can't do more for him. "I know a heat only subsides after your body is sated. I brought you some ... toys, maybe they'll help you."

"Toys?" Casey scowls. Shay laughs, blushing.

"Yeah, just tell me where you want to sit, and I'll arrange it for you, any shape, size, colour, with viber or not." She half-jokes, sitting on the bed next to him.

Casey lets out an unexpected laugh. "That kind of 'toy'? I never thought you were a 'toy' fan, Shay."

"Well, I turn around with what I have at hand."

Casey looks out the open door. "Did Severide leave?"

"Matthew Casey, you gotta a horrible taste to men!"

Casey rubs his exposed belly. "Tell me about it. But I can't blame him, he's being forced to stay here taking care of me, an pregnant omega and my bastard son. I can't blame him, Shay."

"No one's forcing him, Matty. It may not seem like it, but he cares about you and your son."

Severide finishes unloading the car when Shay finds him outside the cabin.

"All ready?" She asks. "Is everything there?"

"Yes. Did he wake up?"

"Yeah. I can't do much for him, we need a doctor, Kelly." She advised again.

"It's not safe."

"And will you keep him here until when?"

"Voight's men won't leave him alone, I can't let them find him now, not in this state."

Shay crosses her arms, annoyed again. "You're going to take care of him, right? 'Cause he needs to be taken care of now, Kelly, so get your head off your ass and do something!"

"You mean sex? Are you asking me to do sex with him?"

"Call it what you want, but stop acting like you don't want it, Kelly!"

"I'm not..."

"You're fooling yourself, everyone can see how much you love him, only you don't see that."

The water bottles and food bags that Shay brought are on the table, Severide watches her friend speed up the car and disappear down the road.

"She's gone?" Casey is standing in the bedroom door. "I thought you were leaving too."

"I'm not going anywhere, Matty." He says, storing the food jars in the cupboard. "Do you want something to eat?"

"Just water."

"Here, take it." Severide hands him a bottle of water. "I'll make dinner, something you wanna?"

"No, I'm sick, pregnant stuff, I think." He tries to smile, his shaking hands let the bottle slip and fall from his hands, Severide approaches and picks up the bottle from the floor, again the smell of Casey snatches him.

The alpha in Severide is struggling to contain himself and being so close to the omega is not easing that.

"Am I stinking that much?" Casey asks embarrassed.

"No, your scent is ... Amazing, Matty. It's driving me crazy here."

"Really?" Casey is surprised by the revelation. "Are you going to touch me, Kel?" Casey asks, his lips very close to Severide's, his eyes red and feverish.

"You really want this? I don't want to force you, Matty...I just gotta know.”

"You would never do that, I trust you, Kelly."

Severide turns away from him. "It's the heat speaking through you, Matty, you can't give me consent to touch you now."

Casey's warm body is next to Severide's on the bed, the omega is naked, sweating and rubbing against the alpha, his open legs intertwined with Severide's hips, the moisture he produces leaving the skin wet and slick.

He keeps his face hidden in the crook of the alpha's neck, moaning low and kissing shyly. Severide just holds back, still dressed, his hands forced down, clenched in the sheet.

"I'm begging you, Kelly..." Casey murmured from where his face was tucked into Severide's neck and shoulder join, his warm hands are around Severide and the alpha's last resistance falls apart.

Severide lies on his side and watches Casey, the omega is moaning and trying to clumsily introduce himself. "Make it stop, Kelly, please."

"Do you really want to, Matty?" He presses his knee between Casey’s thighs and claims some space there.

"Yeah..."

"I don't wanna hurt you." He'd never been with a male omega before, had never known the urge to have a mate. Until now...

"You won't ..." Casey touches Severide's face gently. "You can close your eyes, It's okay, Kel..." He could barely think, watching the indecision that crossed the alpha's face.

"And why would I close my eyes with you, Matty? I want to see you ..." Severide kisses his lips. He slides a hand down Casey's body to the middle of his legs. "Do you want me to do that? Come for me, Casey."

Casey spreads his legs wider, feeling Severide slowly strum his wet pussy, his fingers moving in and out slowly. Any control Severide has over his instincts was gone. 

Two alpha finger movements and Casey hits the climax, relieving all the tension in his body.

When he recovers, finds Severide looking at him, panting, he tries to compose himself, the heat soothes a little, but he still wants more. 

"Sorry, it was faster than I thought ..."

"Do you really needed that, huh?" Severide says gently, he kisses Casey's lips. "Let's do it slow this time, okay?"


	15. I wasn't made that strong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Till you shed your pride, and you climb to heaven"

_"Thought you had_   
_All the answers_   
_To rest your heart upon_   
_But something happens_   
_Don't see it coming, now_   
_You can't stop yourself_   
_Now you're out there swimming_   
_In the deep"_

Obviously Casey is ashamed of his own body, he smells confused and afraid and all that shit together. Severide can feel it, but he still can't understand the real reason why he's embarrassed, Casey is incredibly perfect, he shouldn't be ashamed.

Secretly, Severide has always been watching Casey, his gentle way of moving his hips as he walks, barely noticeable, but not for him, who knows exactly where to look. His arms covered with a layer of golden hair, his callused hands always careless due to his profession, because, despite his shy and submissive nature, he is a manly man, with a manly body, the most incredible body that Severide has ever seen. And even pregnancy didn't take that away from him.  
Casey shouldn't be ashamed of being so perfect.

Maybe he doesn't even know how amazing he is, but Severide does, he always did. 

This scares Severide, keeps him at a distance, always in the rear, attacking at the slightest sign of proximity, because Casey leaves him defenseless. No one else in the world has that effect on him, none of his girls scare him that way. It makes him afraid to approach, to lose himself in Casey's perfume.

Casey is unfamiliar ground and at the same time is the only safe ground he ever knows. 

_"Life keeps tumbling your heart in circles_   
_Till you let go_   
_Till you shed your pride, and you climb to heaven_   
_And you throw yourself off_   
_Now you're out there spinning_   
_In the deep"_

"Keep your eyes open, Matty ..." He pushes Casey's head gently with the tip of his shoulder where Casey is leaning. Shower water's pouring over both of them, Severide keeping him under the shower.

Casey lifts his chin, enjoying the water over his head, his arms around Severide's neck. "Sorry I..."

"Do you want to go back to bed?" Severide asks gently, he doesn't mind staying here in the shower holding Casey, but he's worried that the omega is drowsy again.

"You're sleeping standing up, Matty."

"I don't want to sleep now, Kel." He says looking into Severide's eyes, there is evident desire in his eyes. "I am fine here."

"I know, but I don't want to get you tired." Severide turns off the shower and grabs a towel to dry Casey.

Casey has slow, almost drunk reactions, Severide dries his hair, his face, slowly descending over his shoulders and belly, his thumb lightly stroking the exposed skin of Casey's belly.

Casey feels a shiver run through his body, Severide kneels and dries his hips gently where greenish bruises still color the skin from Voight's last attack.

He can hear Severide's low growl escaping as he grabs the alpha's shoulders and guides him again until he is on his feet. Severide is looking at him and Casey doesn't back down, there's no reason to back down.

"I am fine." He guarantees a short smile escaping his lips. "I'm."

Severide holds Casey's face and kisses the tip of his nose gently. "Tell me when you're not, Matty. I won't let him approach you again."

Casey believes him, it's stupid to cling to it, but he gets lost in the illusion of being protected by Severide. Because right now, he desperately needs to hold on to something, be touched, protected. It doesn't matter if it's all another illusion tomorrow morning, now he needs it.

Severide takes him by the hand and guides him to his room again. Casey sits on the bed, still naked.

"I don't want to think about that but, there's must be condoms around here." He says, visibly embarrassed. "It's my father's house, I don't even want to think about it ..."

Casey smiles, embarrassed too. "It's fine, I'm already pregnant, it won't happen twice."

"That's not it, Matty, I don't want to risk you in this state."

"I'm clean, Kelly." Casey is slightly offended now, his heat coming back hard.

"I know, but the baby, I won't risk him, Matty."

He bends down again in front of Casey, as if apologizing for his comment, the omega has tears in his eyes.

"Do you worry about my son Kelly this way?" He knows he's crying and hates himself for it, but seeing Severide's concern for his son makes him want to cry without fear.

Severide smiles, finding Casey's question rather silly. "But of course, he's your son, Matty. Why shouldn't I worry?"

Casey holds Severide face in his hands. "You're going to make love to me, aren't you Severide?"

_"In the silence_   
_All your secrets_   
_Raise their weary heads_   
_And you can't pin yourself_   
_Back together_   
_With who you thought you were_   
_Now you're out there livin'_   
_In the deep"_


	16. I visit you in another dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hold my breath and close my eyes  
And I wait for paradise...

_"I reach and feel your hair_   
_Your smell lingers in the air_   
_I brush your cheek with my fingertips_   
_I taste the void upon your lips_   
_And I wait for paradise..."_

Bruce Springsteen's hoarse voice invades the small bedroom, only the light from a lamp remains on when Severide slides over Casey's body, placing soft kisses along her thighs and gently opening them with her own face.

Casey's greenish eyes follow him in silence, fully surrended at the moment and breathing slowly. Severide is buying time here and there's none hurry, it's like he's trying to memorize every inch of Casey's body.

Casey's lips open and close without any sound escaping from them while Severide grabs his knees and finally approaches his pussy, taking a moment to watch it. Casey feels his stomach turn, he knows how disgusting an omega male might look, he tries to introduce himself again, a pathetic attempt to seduce the alpha and not letting him give up on now.

Pathetic, as Severide is not going anywhere, he is simply fascinated by what he sees.  
Years and years of working with Matt and he has never seen him naked before, not so intimate, so accessible, so deeply. He feels the anguish of the omega and leans down to kiss his wet slit, pushing the little tangle of golden hair to the edge, looking for the entrance with his own tongue, eagerly devouring everything he finds along the way.

Casey moans loudly, lifting his spine when Severide's tongue penetrates him. The alpha tightens his fingers around his thighs while licking his scented skin. The omega's cock is hard either, leaking and leaving it totally stained.  
Severide holds it between his fingers and massages it slowly, Casey moans again. Severide's fingers reach his slit and slide in, he crawls over Matt, kissing his belly on the way, nibbling on his nipples while his fingers play inside him.

Matt opens his thighs to receive Severide, the alpha slowly lays on him, without putting all his weight on, taking great care of his belly. A smile appears on Casey's face.

"What?" Severide uses an arm for support as he watches him smile.

Casey is flushed and visibly embarrassed, Severide realizes what happened.

"Again? I thought you would wait for me this time, Matty." He says pretending to be disappointed, his fingers are soaked in Matt's natural lubricant, he pulls his fingers and brings them to his mouth, Casey's tastes incredibly sweet.

"I'm trying. You can't blame me for feeling horny about you, Kel ..." Casey says but he doesn't apologize.

Severide just watches him, the alpha's lips shining wet in the darkness of the room, Casey smells his own scent on him.

"You do?" Severide asks, Casey takes a deep breath, totally relaxed.

"Yes, but you should already know that." Casey refers to his inability to hide his feelings.

"No, I didn't know. I always thought Andy was your 'thing', not me."

"Andy? Why?" Matt scowls.

"I don't know, you two were so close." Severide caresses Casey's wet hair.

"No, we both never ..." He looks Severide in the eyes. "Nothing ever happened between the two of us, Sev."

"And I believe you, Matty." He's trying to let Casey rest for a while before they continue.

Casey smiles again, he rubs Severide's shoulders slowly. "I was never good at dating."

Severide bursts out laughing. "I don't believe that."

Casey is embarrassed. "I know it looks ridiculous, I'm pregnant and everything ..."

"It has nothing to do with it, I mean, how can someone like you not be good at something, Matty?"

"I am not good at many things, Kel."

Severide is silent, watching Casey. "I can't believe it. You're Matthew Casey, the most perfect guy I know."

"I'm not ..." Casey sits on the bed with his back to Severide.

"Hey, where are you going? Matty?"  
  
"I don't like it when you make fun of me, Sev. I really ..."

"I'm not mocking you." Severide sits next to him and holds Casey by the arm. "Listen to me, I'm not laughing, Matty. I swear, you're so good at everything you do, always so right and ... So handsome. I can't imagine why do you think you're not good enough."

Casey looks around the bedbroom, Severide's phone is still playing music in the corner, Bruce Springsteen still singing about paradise, and all of a sudden notthing's real anymore.

"Do you think me ... handsome, Severide?"

Severide holds Casey's face with his fingertips. "You're handsome, Matty, so handsome."

In sync, their bodies spin on the bed and Casey stands over Severide's hips, in this position he can decide what to do, Severide wants to make him comfortable about it.   
Casey's hands slide beneath his body and find the alpha's hard cock, a slight sound of surprise escapes from his lips, Severide is big and hard as stonem but that doesn't stop him from keep touching Severide and leaning over to kiss him.

Severide reaches over and caresses his slit again, Casey is still wet and hot.

"I will ... I need this." Casey says breathlessly. "Kelly ..." 

"I know, but you have to tell me if it hurts, Matty, I don't want to hurt you." 

Severide reaches for a condom on the nightstand next to the bed and quickly puts it on. "Casey I mean it ..."

"I know, can you fuck me now, Severide?" Casey complains, flushing with heat.

"Do you want me to ... Hm, do you want me to knot you up, Matty?" He asks, a little embarrassed.

Casey just nods and sits slowly on Severide's dick, the dick invading him inch by inch, the feeling is overwhelming and Casey moans with his lips open when Severide is whole inside him. 

"Oh..." Severide moans feeling Casey squeezing. "Matty ..."

"Kelly ..." It takes a minute for Casey to start moving his hips, bending over the alpha's body, sliding back and forth slowly.

Severide is not the kind to make love, he fucks and fucks fast, but having Matt lying on him, giving himself so sweetly makes him wish he would never get out of this bed again, his tongue exploring the omega's mouth, hungry, lustful and horny, he doesn't know if it's by heat or instinct, but the orgasm doesn't take long to happen, and it doesn't take long for him to fill the condom with semen.

The knot begins to form at the base of Severide's penis, Casey moves faster reaching the climax without touching, a true omega orgasm, breathing through his mouth, eyes closed. Simply the most beautiful sight Severide has ever seen.  
The knot holds them together, sitting on the bed facing each other. 

Severide caressing Casey's cheeks, sliding his fingers over his face.

"Your nose..."

"My nose?" Casey asks sleepily. "What about him?"

"It's perfect, Matty. I love your nose." Severide kisses his nose. "I hope the baby has your nose."

Casey smiles, Severide reaches for a water bottle by the bed and opens it, making him drink.

"You need this."

"Thanks." Casey finishes his drink and rests his head on Severide's shoulder. "Is this really happening, Severide?"

"If not, that's the best dream I've ever had, Matty."

Severide perfumes Matt's gland, but doesn't bite it, he doesn't have the right, doesn't know if Matt really wants it, so he just kisses, too pleased with tonight to think about getting out of this bed.

Whether it's a dream or just an illusion caused by the heat, they don't care, tonight is just them and nobody else's.

_"I search for you on the other side_   
_Where the river runs clean and wide_   
_Up to my heart the waters rise"_


	17. Nothing more...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Let's just take our own time  
Stay with me throught the night

Casey winced and rubbed his nose on Severide's neck, but didn't open his eyes. Severide pulls the hair out of the omega with the tip of the chin. They are hugging and still tied to each other on the bed, for the fourth or fifth time since they arrived at Benny's hut.

Casey's heat gave way sometime during the night, but his scent is still strong in the air. Without the fog of lust, everything seems less bright now and Casey wonders what will come next.

Severide pushes his hips once more before pulling away and watching Casey.

"Are you okay, Matty?"

"Hmm ..." Casey replies without opening his eyes.

"The baby is good?" Severide slides his hand between their bodies and caresses his belly.

"Yes, I think he's asleep ..." Casey finally opens his eyes lazily. "He must be exhausted, I'm ..." Casey smiles, pushing himself further over Severide's body.

"I think we should go back now, your scent has changed, Matty ..."

Then Casey's eyes roam the room, he moves his body slowly trying to get away from Severide now.

"What is?" Severide takes his chin and forces him to look at him. "Something wrong?"

"No, I ... Do you want me to leave, Kelly?"

"And why would I want that, Matty?"

"I don't know, my heat's over ..."

"I brought you here, didn't I? I'm not dumping you now, Matty."

Casey is silent, Severide's knot recedes and he moves away from the omega's body, lying down next to him.

"Hey, I didn't bring you here to take advantage of your heat." Severide says gently. "I never thought I would say that, but it was the most amazing thing I've ever done ..." He touches Casey's sweaty face. "I just think now be safe to go back, your heat is gone and ..."

Something makes sense so Casey rubs his eyes. "Sure, we can go now, I just need to take a shower first." He tries to move away from him, but Severide holds him.

"No, wait! Listen to me, I'm telling you the truth here, I really liked what we did, Matty. I liked that."

Casey sighs, his low esteem is always in control.

"But that's all, isn't it? It was fun, but it's nothing serious ... You told me that once, Severide." Casey sits on the bed. "You don't do relationships and, you wouldn't do that for me."

Severide's silence seems painful, so he gets up and gets out of bed.

He takes a quick shower, washing his genitals mainly; two days tied up have a price. He does everything as quickly as possible, gets dressed in the bathroom, feeling ridiculous.

"Matty ..." Severide is already dressed when she returns to the room. "We should talk and ..."

"I wasn't expecting a ring from you, I just ... Damn it!" He hates pregnancy hormones. "It's all right..."

"You have to let me speak here, Casey!" Severide demands the right to explain himself.

"No, please. Don't do this to me, Kel ... I'm already bad enough without having to hear it was all a mistake, please. I don't want to hear that from you again."

"Why do you think it was a mistake, Matty?"

"So it was good enough for you to stay with me, Kel?" Casey challenges him looking into the alpha's eyes. "Do you want to go out with me or try something else now? Don't tell me it was good, but you can't promise me anything, please, I already know that."

Severide doesn't have an answer to that, Casey looks at his feet, a painful smile on his lips.

"I am pregnant with a dangerous man's son and, I am the worst option for anyone right now, let me believe that is just why you are moving away from me again, Severide."

_"Let's shield this love we've found_   
_Lay your arrows down_   
_You're safe with me_   
_You're safe you'll see"_

Casey kept his head down, leaning against Antonio's car, the detective remains inside the vehicle.

"I thought he caught you, Matt. I looked for you everywhere."

"Voight had nothing to do with my disappearance. It was something else." Casey does not want to explain further about this.

Antonio turns his neck for something behind Casey. "Does he have anything to do with this?"

Casey looks back and sees Severide standing right behind them, watching them discreetly.

"Don't worry about him." He turns to Antonio. "Have they set the trial date yet?"

"No, but Voight is snarling at everyone around him, the bastard is still trying to get his son out of this shit."

Casey slides his hand over his belly, a thoughtless gesture that he has recently repeating much.

"Does that make you a good father?" He says thinking about the child in his womb. "Should I be proud or very concerned about this?"

"He can leave you alone after Justin was convicted, but I wouldn't count on that. Voight can continue to chase you."

"I don't know how he can mess things up anymore, it already sucks here. He broke my house, my car ... and then what?"

"He can really hurt you, Casey. Hank Voight is not someone to fight with."

"But you are facing him, why?"

Antonio shakes his head. "It's my job, besides, as long as there are stupid omegas like you, I really must to work." he says without seriousness. "Have you told your boss that you need a license?" He asks looking at Casey's hand on his belly.

"No, I haven't said anything yet." Casey takes his hand away from belly.

"You're taking so many risks, Casey."

"A few more days, I will be leaving soon."

Antonio looks behind Casey again, Severide is still there watching but there are other firefighters with him. "They know?"

"Not everyone, I don't want to splurge on that."

"They are your team, gotta your back all the time."

"Not everyone supports omegas working here, I just try to stay off the radar, Antonio."

"Does he support?" He says pointing to Severide. "He seems concerned about our conversation."

"I don't know." He says sincerely. "I have no idea."

_"Feel this heartbeat in my chest_   
_In this love you can rest"_

Shay found Matt in the locker room, the lieutenant was looking at himself in the mirror.

"Matt ..."

"I'm getting old fast." Casey says casually. "I have white hair. My father had white hair before he was forty, I am going the same way."

"You are not..."

"Okay, I heard that gray hair is sexy." He says with a short smile. "I'm getting fat and graying, what else now?"

"Matt, can we talk?"

"Sure, just say it." Still looking to the mirror.

"What happened between you and Severide at Benny's cabin..."

"Sex? There was sex between us, Shay, you can say the word." 

"Whatever." She coughs clearing the throat. "What happened after that?"

"Nothing. We had sex and that's it." He smiles, thinking of the irony of the situation. He leans against the sink. "I don't know where we're at, one step forward, two steps back. I don't even know if we're still friends now."

"It wasn't just sex, you know that." Shay sighs, tired of the stupidity of these two.

"I was already pregnant when I got there, he gotta nothing to worry about."

"Don't try to be smart on me, Casey! You know what I'm talking about."

"No, I don't know!" Casey changes the sound of his voice. "I have no idea! Do you know why? Because I'm a sticky idiot and he wants nothing to do with me, Shay. Nothing has changed!"

"You know it's not like that ..."

"It's just like that! He took care of me during my heat and that's it! Everything will be the same now. Just sex..." He tries to minimize the situation. "He didn't call me the next day, I don't expect him to call any moment."

"You know it's not like that! He would never take advantage of you. He didn't even want to ..." She was silent when she realized that she spoke more than she should have.

"What didn't he want?" Casey turns to her, demanding an answer. "What did he not want to do, Shay?"

_"Lay your arrows down_   
_You've no need for them now"_

Severide is playing cards with the other firefighters next to the trucks when Casey approaches him. The lieutenant's tired eyes look him up and down.

"Can we talk, Severide?"

Severide shrugs and gets up, he follows casey to the outside of the barracks in silence.

"Is everything okay, Matty? What do you wanna talk?"

"About the 'sex out of pity' that you decided I needed." He says bitterly. "I don't even want to imagine how difficult it was for you to have to fuck me because of an stupid instinct and ... How unpleasant it was to have to hold on while I begged you to make love to me, because that's all I want since the day that I met you but only a heat could make me speak ... " 

Casey rarely loses his head that way, he is furious and talking too fast.

"Pity what? What you're talking about, Casey?"

"About how cruel and low it is." He shoves his hands into his pockets. "Even from you, I just ... Shit, I should have seen it coming. You still hate me and nothing I do is going to change that." He says calmly, bitterly.

"It had nothing to do with pity, Matty. I really wanted to ... I can't believe you think like that..."

"Really? Did you really want to, Severide? Because it's been over a week and you haven't even looked into my eyes all these days. I don't even want to think about how funny it was for you to tell your friends how disgustingly sticky and needy I was ..." Casey tries to swallow the cry, but the tears are already fogging his eyes. "How much sacrifice on your part, Severide ..."

"Casey what's up with you? Why do you think that?" Severide tries to get closer, but Casey pulls him away. "What are you accusing me of now, Casey? You were the one who begged me to do that!"

Severide knows he said too much, but it is too late.The look of pain on Casey's face says it all.

"Yes, I did that. I begged you to make love to me. It's my fault here for being an idiot, then, but you know what?" He takes his hand out of his pocket and rubs the face. "I don't want to stay up at night anymore thinking about what to do or say to get close to you, even though I know you're going to ignore me the next day. I'm so tired of your revenge. I'm tired, Severide ..."

"What do you mean?"

"Stay away from me. Don't talk to me, 'cause I don't want to hear from you any more, Kelly Severide!"

_"You're safe with me_   
_You're safe you'll see"_


	18. Take me home

_"Wrapped up, so consumed by all this hurt_   
_If you ask me, don't know where to start_   
_Anger, love, confusion_   
_Roads that go nowhere"_

Severide's heavy footsteps sound through the Firehouse room, Casey remained in his place reading the newspaper. He does not take his eyes off the papers even when the alpha sits on the couch in front of him. 

The other firefighters are discreetly observing the interaction of they two lieutenants, nobody asks anything, but it is obvious that the mood is bad again between them.

"Can we talk, Casey?" Severide asks trying to probe the waters around. He has known Casey for so many years, never seen him so indifferent before. "Matty..."

Looking over the sheet of paper, Casey just rolls his eyes, he's openly ignoring Severide right now. "I'm busy here, Severide." He murmurs childishly.

In quick gesture, Severide takes the newspaper out of his hands, this makes the other firefighters around alert, the possibility of a physical fight between these two has never been ruled out. 

But then, nothing happens, Casey just tries to retrieve the newspaper, but Severide throws it across the couch.

"I just want one minute, okay? Just one minute, Matty." Severides whispers, trying to stay calm and focused. "I know you're upset with me, but I really don't know what I did wrong this time. I was just trying to make sure ..." He looks around. "I wasn't forcing you or anything."

Casey takes a deep breath, ignore Severide all week left him exhausted, but he's not about to give in and let Severide affect him again.

"I wanted to make sure that we were on the same page there that night, Matty. I'm not that type of alpha."

"You don't owe me any explanation. Severide. We already got that sorted out." Casey gets up, Severide too.

"Wait! I'm not done ..." He takes the omega's arm, but lets go as soon as he realizes his action. "Matty..."

And at that moment his voice sounds shaky and unsure, this is not one of his characteristics and, it catches Casey's attention, the omega turns back to look at him.

"I don't want to talk about it here." Casey looks around, the chain of gossip is already formed around them. 

"When then? Tonight? We can go out and drink and ... No, not drink, but we can go out and talk."

Casey looks away and smiles from the irony. "Do you really think I want to go out with you, Severide? What is it? Don't you have anyone to take you home drunk?"

"You are not being fair here, Matty." Severide replies.

"Get yourself another ride!" And again the silence settled between them.

_"Came to you with a broken faith_   
_Gave me more than a hand to hold_   
_Caught before I hit the ground"_

Casey is so deeply sick that he makes his way to the bathroom bending over the walls. He is tired and feeling much more sleep than usual as well.

He comes out of the bathroom wiping his face with a towel, Antonio is still sitting in his kitchen, a bottle of beer open in front of him.

"Feeling better?"

"I think I left my guts back there." Casey responds and sits down next to the detective. "What were we really talking about, Antonio?"

Antonio points to him. "Your mom, Nancy."

"Yes, she can be out in a few days."

"This is good, isn't it?" He looks Casey in the eye. "It is not?"

Casey wipes the sweat off his forehead with the towel. "I didn't tell her about the baby, to be honest I don't even know what to say about this situation."

"She is your mother, she will understand your decision."

"What world do you live in, Antonio?" He grabs his beer and takes a short sip, grimacing at the end. "My mom is not a maternal type."

"And what kind is she?" The detective takes the beer from his hands. "Tough one?"

"I don't know, I was very young when she ... I have a sister, but I haven't seen her in years. We were never very close. All gets worst when mom killed our dad. Christie never forgave her for that."

"Did you forgave her, Matt?"

"I am not the one who will judge her. I think she has had enough of it, deserves a second chance. I stopped visiting her when I got pregnant and I haven't seen her since, I don't know how she can react when she find out." Casey rubs his already red lips. "But she needs a place to stay either, pfffff, here it's not safe now, especially with Voight around." 

Antonio shrugs. "Severide's car was standing around the corner when I arrived..."

"What?" Casey gets up and goes to the window to look, but the car is no longer there. "What does this have to do with it?"  
  
"He was also watching us that day, and I don't need to be a detective to say that he's watching over you, Matt. "

Casey sits down next to Antonio again. "No, he's not. He wouldn't waste time with me like that. Severide is exactly the type of guy that ..."

"What...?"

"That I should stay away all my life. I don't want to be involved in this type anymore."

"That seems like a lot of hurt ... He seemed like a good man to me."

"Why are we talking about him?"

"I saw the new locks on your door... I know you're trying to protect yourself, but now I'm confused if it is from Voight or Severide that you are trying to protect from." 

Casey slides his hand over his stomach, another wave of nausea threatens to attack him. "I don't want my son to see me beg for the love of an alpha ... I need to take care of this baby better than I did to me."

"Listen to me Matt, I know Voight, he's not the type to give up so easily, he's up to something, you can be sure. I'm just saying that all help is now welcome. If Severide wants to protect you, let him do that."

"No, I don't want him around. I'm fine. I've spent my whole life waiting for someone to come and save me, but it won't happen. Severide is something that I created in my head and idealized, to be honest, all he has done so far is to have fun with what I feel for him."

Antonio watches him for a moment, this thing between Casey and Severide seems more profound than he imagined.

"I'm not going to tell you to be an omega now, but think about it, alphas can still be quite dangerous, they can feel your fear. Things won't be so easy for you after the baby is born. Voight won't let you in peace, Matt."

"I'm not going to beg him to stay with me, Antonio. That's all I've been doing for so many years, just to hear him say he is relieved that he didn't sleep with me."

Then Casey gets up and goes back to the bathroom, another round of vomit awaits him, Antonio stays in the kitchen, he gets up and looks out the window, Severide's car is no longer there, but the alpha is standing across the street watching the house.

"About Voight's son, Justin, I feel sorry for him." Casey says as he comes back from the bathroom.

"I don't, boys like Justin just cause trouble." He finishes the beer. "Besides, with a father like Voight, you can't expect much from him." He walks away from the window and sits on the couch. "You're lucky you don't have Voight around your kid."

Casey smiles. "Tell me about it."

"Are you okay, Matt?"

"Yes, just ... Pregnancy stuff, I'll be fine."

So Antonio gets up and takes his coat. "I promised my wife that I would be home early today, so call me if you need to. Take care, Matt."

Casey waves goodbye and returns to the living room, he's been sleeping on the couch for a few nights, the television always on.

Outside his home, Severide's heavy steps take him back to his car, he saw Antonio leave, he knows he was seen too, but he won't try to talk to Casey tonight, he will respect the omega's wishes.

Shay opens the refrigerator again while listening to Severide's sigh sitting in the corner of the kitchen. He go out last night and come back home early this morning, alone.

"Talk to him." She says without looking at him. 

"With whom?" He says trying to get away from it.

"With Matt, who else is avoiding you?" She finds a yogurt and closes the refrigerator. "Talk to him, work it out."

Severide rubs his jeans pockets. "I tried, he doesn't want to hear me." He sighs again. "Antonio ..." He rubs his eyes, doesn't even want to think about it.

Shay sits across from him eating the yogurt. "Stop making excuses, Kelly. Antonio is just a friend."

"They were together last night."

"Go there and talk to him. Say how you feel."

"What is this talk? I don't feel ..."

"Oh no? So why are you so restless now?"

"I don't like misunderstandings."

"Misunderstandings or the fact that he doesn't want you anymore? Matt spent years waiting for you to notice him, don't blame him for being so hurt. Kelly."

"And what do you want me to do, Shay?"

"Talk to him, Matt loves you, love like that doesn't end so easy, Kelly. He's a little confused and hormonal now, but he loves you. "

_"Could you take care of a broken soul?"_

Okay, he's really on his way out. The license application has been filled on his desk for more than ten days.

Throughout all these years as a firefighter, he rarely took time off from work. This house and these people are everything he have. Outside that barracks, he has absolutely nothing.

But it's getting difficult to hide his belly, the baby has been demanding more and more of him, tiredness, pain, fear, he knows he needs to stop and take care of himself, he was never good at taking care of himself, but dragging a child into this mess has demanded more from him than he could imagine.

After all, he doesn't want to stay here and watch Severide act so passionately for the new firefighter, a newbie named Stella Kidd.

He needs to be twice as careful out there, aware that he is risking his own life and that of his companions. No reason to continue to deny the obvious: he must leave.

It was after a particularly difficult fire call, when Shay found him throwing up behind the fire truck that he finally handed the papers over to Chief Boden, claiming he needs to rest, not yet sure whether or not to tell the real reason for his departure.

At the end of the shift, he collected his things, cleaned his closet and followed the street without saying anything, without goodbyes, he is repeating to himself that he will return to work as soon as his son is born. No one will know his motives unless he says, for the first time in his life, living so far from others has had its advantages.

But then, his house no longer exists, it has completely burned down...

_"Gave me more than a hand to hold_   
_Caught before I hit the ground_   
_Tell me I'm safe, you've got me now"_


	19. Safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Sometimes in our lives  
We all have pain  
We all have sorrow  
But if we are wise  
We know that there's always tomorrow"

_"Lean on me_   
_When you're not strong_   
_And I'll be your friend_   
_I'll help you carry on..."_

The doctor examined Casey closely, assessing his condition very carefully. The omega remains in silence his arm over his belly the whole time, Antonio asked repetitive and tiring questions, Casey only wants to sleep for a few days. He just wants to go home and sleep, but then he remembers that there is no home to return to, everything is burned and destroyed, nothing else exists.

The doctor is concerned about Casey's blood pressure so she draws a few exams and leaves the room, leaving him and Antonio alone.

Voight's name appears, but Casey is oblivious to what Antonio's saying. He can only imagine what to do now that he no longer has a home to return to. Shelters are his worst nightmare, he was there once, no good memories of that kind of place.

Antonio mentions the witness protection service, but that would force Casey to quit his job altogether, and that is out of the question.

He feels something pulsating inside his head, a migraine perhaps, but he says nothing. There is a little bit of pain in her belly that's why he holds it so tightly, the doctor felt and did not find the source of the pain, this is making her worried.

"Did you hear anything I said, Casey?" Antonio asks, but before he can answer, the doctor came back and said she wanna do an ultrasound, she wanted to see how the baby is doing. Casey feels his body tremble, he has not yet seen his son, he is afraid that something may be wrong with his baby.

"I will leave you now." Antonio says leaving the exam room.

"No, stay, I mean ... I don't want to do this alone, so if you want to be ..." Casey asks, he doesn't want to be alone right now.

Antonio looks around. "Hey, you're not alone, Man."

_"For it won't be long_   
_Till I'm gonna need somebody to lean on"_

Casey moved slowly when the doctor spread the cold gel over his belly, but said nothing. Gradually the confused image on the screen of the device was taking shape, Casey is breathing quickly and trying not to cry when seeing his son's shapes on the screen. Antonio remains silent in the corner of the room, watching curiously.

"Do you want to know the baby's gender, Casey?" The doctor asks gently.

Casey just nods, eyes filled with tears.

"Okay then, come on ..." She moves the device sideways and makes some markings on the screen. "Here we go, it's a girl. You're having a little girl, Casey. Congratulations! Do you want a picture of her?"

"Can I have one?"

"But of course."

"Does she have all ... all little fingers?" He sobs.

"Yes, she is perfect, Casey." The doctor smiles. 

Then Casey stopped trying to control his crying and he burst in tears. He covers his face with one hand and cries, in relief, in pain, in fear, in joy, in a confusion of sobs.

He's going to be the father of a girl, for a split second, he forgets the shit he's living, the other two people in the room and cries like a boy. He lost everything he owned but is crying only now that he knows about his little girl. 

Not knowing how or if should to console him, Antonio just wants to leave the room and strangle the bastard who set fire to Casey's house.

Who in his right mind would try to kill his own daughter?

He knows who, but he still can't catch him. Still.

_"Please swallow your pride_   
_If I have things you need to borrow_

_For no one can fill_   
_Those of your needs that you won't let show"_

Antonio leaves the room, this is more than he can handle right now. Adjusting his hair, he walks to the corridor, there are two policemen standing there, men he trusts, he nods to them and heads to the waiting room. Some firefighters are sitting there waiting for news from Casey, at the back of the room is Severide with a worried face and dirty firefighter clothes.

"He is fine." He says to no one in particular, a murmur of relief can be heard across the room. Then he goes to Severide and looks him in the eyes. "I'm going to ask for protection for him and the ... You know, but he's going to need a lot more than that right now. More than I can offer." He leaves it like this, implied.

Severide agrees, so Antonio leaves, he needs a strong drink.

Shay knocked on the door before entering, Casey is alone in the room, the doctor decided to leave him under observation until his test results arrive.

"Can I come in?"

Casey sits on the bed, but keeps his hand on his stomach. "Hey ..." He nods squinting to focus it better, maybe it's just tired but he's having trouble seeing.

"How are you, Matt?" The blonde speaks softly and keeps her hands in her pockets as she approaches the bed.

"Well. How's my home?" He knows the answer but asks anyway. Shay shrugs.

"I haven't been there yet, Kelly spent the night there with the others trying to get something to save, he can tell you better than me about it."

"He is here?" He rubs his eyes, Shay's voice seems distant just as Antonio's seems to be before.

"Everyone is here."

Casey blinks quickly. "Do they know about my ...?"

"No, Antonio didn't say anything, only Kelly and I know." Shay takes his hand out of her pocket and places it over Casey's on his belly. "The beby is fine?"

Casey smiles. "It's a girl, Shay, I'm going to be a girl's father." He says without hiding his pride. "My girl..."

A huge smile appears on Shay's face. "Matty this is ... Oh my god! A girl! I knew it"

_"You just call on me brother when you need a hand_   
_We all need somebody to lean on"_

Shay sits beside his bed, looking worried again. "Voight?" Casey just looks the other way. Shay shakes his hand in support. "You should report it, Matt."

"And for whom? Antonio doesn't have enough evidence, we still can't do anything against Voight, Shay."

"He tried to kill you, Matt. You and your daughter, it should be enough to put him in jail for life!"

"He's smart, Shay, he's been doing what he wants ever, I'm just one more in the way."

"Well then, we need to protect you better, you're not alone, Matt."

"I can't drag anyone into this mess, not without making you guys his next target."

"This is what the family does, Matt, they protect each other. I talked to Kelly about you staying with us, our apartment is big enough and ..."

"What? No way, Shay! I can't stay there!"

"And why not? Where are you going then?"

"I, hun, I can find a place and ..." He feels dizzy, all the anxiety about what happened finally taking the price of his body.

"We are not discussing this, Matthew Casey." She gets up and leans down to kiss his forehead. "Be well, I'll be back after the shift to pick you up."

"Shay ..." He tries, but she is already gone.

Severide waits outside the hall when she leaves, he is tired but no one is going to get him out of here today.

"He is fine, he lost everything but, we gotta him alive, we have lucky this time..." She says rubbing his shoulders gently. "He's going to stay with us until find another place, Kelly."

Severide breathes a sigh of relief, he never believed Casey would agree with that. 

"Be gentle, big boy, I gotta work." She gives him a kiss and leaves.

A few hours passed there in that corridor in silence. Severide manages to doze for short periods but any sound of footsteps wakes him up, and he continues his vigil in front of Casey's bedroom door.

He wants to go in there and console Casey, say it's okay, but he doesn't want to make omega even more nervous, so he waits outside.

Suddenly a strange movement settles around, a nurse had entered the room and now some doctors follow her, Severide gets up and goes there, around Casey's bed there are a dozen people, the pale body of the omega moves up with violence, Casey is convulsing.

Severide refuses to leave the room while Casey sleeps under medication, he remains sitting by his bed until he wakes up again.

"Kelly ..." Casey murmurs, his voice sounds strangled and his mouth seems to be full of cotton.

"Hi, it's me ... How do you feel, Matty?"

"Did I died?" The continuous beep of the monitor next to his bed catches his eye.

"No, you didn't die." Severide approaches and touches his face, Casey's skin is cold. "Can you hear that? It's the baby's heart." Severide explains.

"My daughter?" Casey asks without moving away from the alpha's touch. 

"Daughter? A girl, Matty?" Severide smiles, exhaling all his tiredness and worry. "A little girl?" He still didn't know about the baby's gender.

"Yes. Can you imagine that? I have to learn all about girls now ..." Casey tries to smile. "I'm a girl's daddy..."

"You'll be great at that. You were always the girls' favorite." Severide gets up and leans over Casey, stroking his head. "You scared me, Matty. Don't do that anymore."

"I don't know what happened, Kelly..."

"Shh, it's okay now. You and she are going to be fine, I'll take care of you." Severide hugs him, he is relieved to have Casey back.

"You look tired." Casey murmurs against his ear, still trapped in his embrace. "Were you been crying, Kelly?"

"I am fine." Severide doesn't let him go, he stays there hugging Casey until the doctor stops them.

"I'm sorry." The doctor say as approaches them. "I'm glad you woke up, Casey. We must talk."

She looks at Severide and back at Casey, wants to know if the omega wants him to leave the room.

"I'm staying." Severide says before Casey answers, he is not going to leave him now.

Casey just agrees, he doesn't like the doctor's worried tone.

"Okay, Casey, you have what we call pre-eclampsia, that means careful and systematic prenatal monitoring of your pregnancy. A strict diet and rest. We need to make sure that it doesn't evolve into a state of eclampsia, which it can be much more dangerous for you and your daughter."

Casey sighs, his whole body hurts. "Is she okay? What happened to me didn't affect her, did it?" His voice sounds guilty and sad.

"Pre-eclampsia can release the placenta and the baby can be born early, this increases the risk of problems right after birth, so we decided for monitoring. As this is your first pregnancy and due to your age, the risks must be eliminated. "

"Is this dangerous for my daughter? Is she going to be okay?"

"It is dangerous for both of you, but we will help you, Casey. Everything will be fine."

"Keeping me here?" He is unable to assimilate the new information. "Until she is born?"

"Hopefully not. We going to medicate you and monitor your progress, if that's okay, you can go home soon."

Casey looks at his hands, realizing how swollen they are now. "I don't have a home right now..."

_"For it won't be long_   
_Till I'm gonna need somebody to lean on"_


	20. In your eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "When I want to run away  
I drive off in my car  
But whichever way I go  
I come back to the place you are"

_"In your eyes_   
_The light the heat_   
_In your eyes_   
_I am complete_   
_In your eyes_   
_I see the doorway to a thousand churches_   
_In your eyes_   
_The resolution of all my fruitless searches_   
_In your eyes_   
_Oh, I see the light and the heat_   
_In your eyes_   
_Oh, I want to be that complete"_

_ _

Absolutely nothing in this world would make Severide lose his good mood today, he has been awake for over 36 hours taking only short naps in the chair next to Casey's bed in the hospital.

Even so, after a tiring shift in the Firehouse, he is smiling non-stop this morning.

"He leaves today, doesn't he?" Shay asks as they leave the Firehouse.

"Yup." He squints against the sunlight. "Will you come with me?"

"No, I'm going home to clean up, that place is not suitable for a ... A pregnant person." She says, tiredness taking over her mood. "Do you already know where he's going to stay?"

"In my room." Severide simply says.

Shay raises an arm and makes Severide stop. "Does he know that, Kelly?"

Severide shrugs.

"Kelly, haven't you guys talked about this? Are you two together for the whole week in that hospital room and haven't talked about it?"

"Well, we ... He sleeps all the time and when he's awake we just talk about the little girl." Severide shrugs.

Shay snorts, those two tough heads!

"Hm, we didn't talk about details at the hospital, I don't want to make him anxious or scared about it, he is so happy with his daughter, we are both." ..." He says good-naturedly. "I thought you would be happy about it too, Shay. "

"I am, it's just ... You know he needs a lot more than that now, don't you? It's not an one night thing, Matt it's much more than that."

"He's so much more than that to me, Shay. It's going to be all right." He kisses her head. "Thank you for this."

Casey is alone in the hospital, he was transferred to this room two days ago, since his exams showed improvement. He feels safe and protected here, his daughter have gained weight and his blood pressure is normalizing, no other seizures since. He has been treated well and pampered nonstop by the nurses and especially by Severide, the smell of the alpha scenting the whole room, he is more sensitive now, more fit to be touched and wanting to be comforted frequently. For the first time since he found himself pregnant, he is totally relaxed and healthy, but after two intense weeks in the hospital, he is ready to leave.

It's almost 7:00 in the morning and Severide must be coming to take him home. He already packed his clothes in a small suitcase, everything he owns now is in that small suitcase, Shay brought him some pants wider on the waist, it made him wanna cry, so Severide spent the rest of the night trying to convince him that he was fine, he would look great even if he wore a bag of potatoes around his waist, and he will be able to buy clothes again soon, so he cried a little more for that because he can't explain how he feels and how embarrassing is to depend on other people, so he just lets Severide think it's the hormones at work in him.

He falls asleep while waiting, maybe a few minutes being pass, or a few hour he doesn't know, when he woke up again feeling a heavy hand sliding over his belly, Severide likes to touch it there, he doesn't care, and every night Casey's unborn daughter seems to snuggle up against Severide's rough fingers. 

He is silent, enjoying the touch, his eyes closed, a smile on lips, Casey likes that and got excited more than once, no shame here, he can always blame the hormones, but then, there is something wrong with this touch, it doesn't smell like security, protection, but smoke, old death. The daughter moves hard, it makes Casey cringe, and open his eyes.

In an awkward leap he sits, and there is Hank Voight standing beside his bed. Rubbing his belly as if Voight's touch had burned his skin, he stands away from the alpha.

"What are you doing here?" He looks out of the room, the two policemen who have been there all week are gone. He looks at the button next to his bed, a touch and a nurse will come. "Who let you in here?"

"I came in peace ... I heard you were going out today, I just wanted to see it with my own eyes ..." Voight smiles calmly, then he points to Casey's belly. "How miserable you are, Lieutenant." He says with a scowl. "Homeless now, huh?"

"Go away!" Casey orders pressing the button on the side of his bed, his bare feet touching the cold hospital floor ready to escape.

"Hey, calm down, I'm not going to hurt you, not now. "Voight keeps his voice low and dangerously scary, he has a gun at his waist, Casey saw it. "I wouldn't do anything to hurt my daughter ... "

"Yours?" Casey frowns, he is even more surprised to learn that Voight knows the baby's gender. "She is not yours!" Casey keep one hand pressing the button and the other around his belly, protecting it. "She's just mine!"

"There's no need to worry about that, I don't want anything to do with that little worm inside you, but you know, I need to make sure that you and she knows that."

"You already gave your message, didn't you? You burned my house! I don't want anything from you, Voight, just leave us alone!"

"It's hard to believe that, Lieutenant. Even more than that, now you have nowhere to go. I just want to make sure she knows she was just a drunken mistake, I don't want any bastard kid knocking on my door at Christmas." Voight looks around the room. "I thought you would like to know that I have nothing to do with what happened to your house, Casey. That place was really falling apart, you should thank me for getting you out of there. "

Casey squints, he always knew Voight was the one to blame, but hearing it from his own mouth makes him want to kill him, he starts to sweat wondering where the nurses are. 

"I wish I had come before, but you know, I was too busy taking care of my son. Do you remember my son, the one you helped put in jail, Lieutenant?"

"I didn't do it." Casey takes a deep breath, the fear trying to dominate him. Voight rubs his hands, the hate in his eyes making the room smell bad. "Your son has committed a crime and must pay for it."

"My son it's just a boy!" Voight gets closer to him, Casey feels his stomach churn with the alpha's scent. "Are you happy to put a boy in jail?"

"He brought this to himself, Voight, wasn't me." He tries to keep his breathing slow, he knows it can prejudice him and the baby.

"You destroyed my son's life! And now I'm going to end yours, you dirty bitch!"

Casey is terrified, but he doesn't back down, he faces Voight head on. "Get out!"

"You think you're strong, don't you? The omega bitch grew some balls! I should have fucked your ass in that alley that night, the way you asked me to do it, so I wouldn't have to see this disgusting face of yours!" Voight says, every word sounding poisonous on his tongue. "Maybe if I had fuck you there, that little mistake of ours wouldn't be alive."

Casey feels his chest tighten, he doesn't care if Voight offends him, but he hates hearing him call his daughter a 'drunk mistake'. The omega inside him starts to roar, he will protect his daughter at any cost, so he raises his chin. "But you didn't do it, and now I have to see your disgusting face here! This daughter is only mine, she will never know what a criminal shit her father is!"

"The children of prostitutes never know who the real father is, let's keep it that way, Lieutenant." Voight looks at him, his look promises blood. "You won't get out of this, bitch! I swear I'll put you and that worm at the bottom of the river soon!" He coldly threatens. "You will wish you died burning."

"I am not afraid of you, Voight!"

Voight smiles, defiantly. "You should, bitch. Where's the other fireman? Do you let him fuck you in this hospital room? How did you convince him to play house with you? Let me guess, you roll like a bitch on his dick with a little girl inside you? Do you let him knot you up like you begged me to do with you? Who's the shit father here, Lieutenant?"

Casey smiles, a little hopelessly, a little disgusted by the smell of Voight, all in the same time. "You don't scare me anymore, I don't care about the shit you say! I'm not your bitch, now get out of here or I swear I'll end your disgusting smile, Voight!"

Severide realized there was something wrong when he arrived at the hospital and saw Antonio draggin Hank Voight into his vehicle, handcuffed.

"Antonio?" He feels his heart race. The detective comes to him. "What's he doing here? Where's Casey?" Advancing over the detective's car.

"Voight came to pay a visit, he was supposed to stay away, but now we can keep him in prison for a few days." He scratches his head. "I'm sorry, the cops should be there, I underestimated Voight's power over the Chicago police." The detective is visibly frustrated.

"What did he do to Casey?" Severide is furious.

"Nothing, Casey is fine, he faced Voight, the doctor is with him now. Get inside, I'm taking Voight, stay with Casey, Severide."

Severide looks at Voight once more before running inside the hospital.

Casey is sitting on the bed with a doctor around him checking his vitals signs.

"Matty!" He hugs the omega without caring about the doctor in the room. "What did he do? Did he hurt you?" He asks quickly as he watches Casey's body for injuries. "Did he touch you?"

"No, I'm fine ..." Casey's voice sounds calm, he has a fragile smile on his face. "It's okay, Kel. He didn't do anything to me."

"He is fine?" He asks the doctor, ignoring Casey. "How did Voight get in here?"

The doctor looks in the clipboard on the bed. "Yes, he is fine. I don't know how it happened, Lieutenant, we are already taking security measures."

"How did you let that happen? He should be safed here!" Severide is upset so Casey tries to calm him down. 

"I'm fine, Kelly. Do you hear me? I'm really fine."

"He could have hurt you and our... Is the baby okay?"

The fact that Severide called his daughter "our" did not go unnoticed by Casey, the omega is speechless.

_"Oh, I want to be that complete  
I want to touch the light..."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy for such beautiful comments! Love you! <3 I'm out of time here, but I'll try to post more soon!


	21. How bad you want to be right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You cross this line, it'll land you in the bottom of the river."  
— Hank Voight

Antonio get in the small room without taking his eyes off from where Voight's sitting, handcuffed to the table. The alpha shows his hands with palms facing upwards, as if he wants to show the detective that he is not dangerous, he can approach. Antonio drops a file folder on the table and pulls out a chair and sits on it.

"It's a pleasure to see you, Antonio." Voight smiles, silent as a poisonous snake, looking Antonio in the eye. "A little smaller than I expected, but I must say that I respect any man who dares to put handcuffs on me."

"I can't say the same, Sergeant, but seeing you like that, handcuffed, looks strangely pleasurable to me." 

"I heard that you are the good guy in the corporation, I didn't think you had a fetish for seeing me handcuffed, detective. I don't smell you, but if you want to extend it, I would love to handcuff you later."

Antonio wants to punch him but he pulls himself together. "I don't usually go to prison cells, Voight. Not like you."

"I'm sorry for ruining your moment, Antonio, but things don't work like that, not in Chicago, here I always win. I don't know if they told you, but you are in my territory here."

Antonio crosses his arms over his chest, he is not afraid of Voight. "Is this about it then? About territory? You're the only one with handcuffs in this room, Sarge."

Voight smiles again, he hates to explain things to altruistic people like this detective. "I don't know how things work in your country, but here, well here you don't challenge an alpha and go out and tell the story."

Antonio raises an eyebrow, taking in Voight's racist comment. "My country?"

"Antonio, it's a Latin name, Cuban maybe, right? Let me tell you how things work in this city, Antonio, my city ..." He leans back in his chair comfortably. "People like me don't go to jail, but you should be more concerned with your job, Detective." He laughs, making an open threat. "Let me tell you what happens next... any moment somebody's gonna knock on that door with some papers in hands, you will read and get angry, because there it will be written that you must to release me immediately, and that is what you gonna do. Do you know why, Antonio?" He tilts his face closer to Antonio like someone who tells a secret. "Because that's how things work here, I'm the law..." He relaxes in the chair again, irritatingly confident in his own words. "I came a long way while you were still wearing diapers, boy. Believe me, I'm the law in Chicago. That's how it works." He sits there, reigning in his own convictions and certainty of impunity. "I've seen a lot of kids like you coming and going, and I stay here, believe me, you don't know who you're messing with, Antonio."

Antonio keep his arms crossed, looking at him. "You don't know anything about the law, Voight. You don't scare me. I know what kind of person you are. I see scoundrels like you all the time. I know exactly who I'm dealing with here, Sergeant. To catch guys like you that's why I joined the police, and just for your information, I was born here in Chicago, this is also my city."

Voight keeps the smile on his lips."Look at you, Detective, so brave! Do you really believe that things change? In two years from now you will be working for me, being true to anything I say, doing exactly what I do, Antonio. This is how things work, I am a necessary evil, we have a balance here, if I fall, many will fall with me, are you really buying this fight, detective? " He's not worried about Detective Dawson investigating him, he's had to deal with it dozens of times, in fact he even finds it interesting to see kids like this Dawson try to take him down.

Antonio raises his chin, he will not allow Voight to reach him. He opens the file. "I never run from a good fight. You know what, when I talked to Casey about it, I was wondering how a person like him could get involved with a scoundrel like you, Voight, and I swear I still don't understand."

"What can I say? Sluts likes a uniform." He says laughing. Antonio punches the table hard, but Voight doesn't even move. "Go ahead do your 'good cop' show, I have nothing better to do now."

Antonio bites his anger and shows him the file, inside is a photo of what's left of Casey's house. "Is that how you work? Chasing those you should protect, Voight?"

Voight looks at the photo on the table. "Well, I didn't do that. You can't prove anything."

"You are wrong! This was not the first time that you threatened Lieutenant Casey, I can prove it. I can prove that you were in that hospital and made new threats. You are really playing dirty, sergeant."

Voight shrugs. "It was just a cordial visit, nothing much. The lieutenant is an old friend of mine, he won't say otherwise." 

"Believe me he will, Lieutenant Casey is a witness, you shouldn't approach him or his child."

"We are old friends, what's wrong with that? Are you going to blame me for being a worried alfa, Antonio? I'm just giving the lieutenant the attention he wants." He shrugs, like the arrogant idiot he is. "Did you come here to read my rights or lecture me on how to act after some bonus fuck, Antonio?"

Antonio smiles, he is seething, but losing his temper is just what Voight wants to do with him. "Leave Casey alone, chasing him is not going to change the fact that your son is in jail, Voight!"

Mentioning Justin's name take the smile off Voight's lips, it was his only weakness. Antonio is smiling now. "What happened to 'I'm the law', huh, Voight? It didn't help your son. Perhaps you are already falling, Sergeant, little by little."

Voight advances on Antonio but the handcuffs and the table between them prevent him from touching the detective. Antonio walks away on instinct, Voight is snorting in hate now. All his certainty of impunity is gone and he is furious. Antonio hit the right buttons now.

"Tell me, Sergeant, do you consider yourself a winner even with your son behind bars?"

"Leave my son out of this!" He howls, his hands tense under the handcuffs.

"Leave Casey and his daughter alone, Voight! Your daughter! The one you tried to kill!"

"I dind't hurt my daughter!" He screams, and then shuts up because he shouldn't call that slip as 'his daughter'.

"I don't care! I really don't care, but threatening an omega in a hospital is too low even for someone like you, Voight!" Antonio pinched the tip of his nose. "Tell me how it is now, what is it like to own the city and still hurt your own children?"

"You gotta nothing against me, Antonio. Do your best." He says back. 

"I have an honest man in a hospital, sick because of you, willing to testify about everything you did against him. A good pregnant omega you tried to kill!"Antonio says calmly."I have a little girl who is going to be born and discover that her father is a scoundrel who tried to kill her. How does victory sound to you now, Voight?"

"Don't waste your time with speeches here, Antonio, I'm on my way out."

Voight says when he hears a knock on the door. "I told you."

Antonio can't hide his frustration, he raises a finger to Voight's face. "Yes, I knew that, but let me say something before, this city is changing owners and people like you are being eliminated in a daily basis, and I would love to put you in the dirtiest cell in the prison, but you already live in it, Voight. You are just an arrogant old man, lonely in his own shit, who uses alpha status to intimidate people around. You put a price on your career and that's all you have now, your son is in prison and nothing you did could save him, where is your power now, Voight? Let me tell you, Sarge, you are a joke! Your career is a joke!"

"You better save my name, it may be the last one you will hear, Antonio." Voight threatens again when Antonio gets up to open the door.

"How bad you need to be right, Voight? Our conversation isn't over yet, I'll be there for you when you fall." Antonio gets up. "By the way, it's Detective Dawson for you, I'm not one of your men. Enjoy your victory, Voight, won't las long." Antonio's only incentive is that he found some cracks in Voight's armor, the alpha has weaknesses and that could be beneficial in the future.

Voight is not unattainable and Antonio knows that now.

Despite the apparent calm, Antonio punches one of the police station's walls when he sees one of the superiors heading to Voight. The alpha left the prison by the front door.

Contrary to what is expected, Voight is really lonely in his kingdom of impunity. He has no friends or trusted people, no one to wait for him at home when he comes back late of night. No messages on the answering machine, no missed calls, nothing. Just him sitting in his dark room.

Power can be a lonely place, he knows it.

The day dawns with him asleep on the couch, the same couch still smelling Casey's perfume that he vowed to throw away, but kept it. He spent days denying to himself that it was just the bad smell of omega, but that was not enough, he has only been able to sleep here since that night, only the smell of Casey really makes him sleep well, he knows there is no reason or for whom to lie.  
At this point, he shouldn't have been looking for comfort in the remains of Casey's perfume. He shouldn't find comfort in that omega shit, but he can't control it and, as much as he hates it, he feels warm there.

Matthey fucking Casey was the first person to approach him in months, maybe years. The only one unaware enough to touch him unprotected. So broken and damaged that he couldn't see what kind of person Hank Voight is. So needy and desperate for any crumb of love, ready to gave himself up to him in a dirty alley, believing that the alpha would be capable of some kind of human gesture. 

He smelled Casey's despair in the air around him, the fear of being left behind, abandoned, even if it was by the man he just met. Voight hates weak persons. He hated Casey that night, because hate is the only thing that Voight sees himself capable of feeling, he was never good at things of love, Camille never demanded anything from him, things were simple with her. But then Casey comes all broken and damaged to him, Voight can only hurt him, because that's easier than admitting that he just doesn't know what to do about it.

Still, he took him home, had sex with him, got him pregnant, because Voight knows that night they did it, Casey was begging someone to take him out of his solitude and Voight didn't realize he was doing it.  
The lieutenant's scent stayed on his home, on his skin, on his clothes, and he hated it. He hated having to deal with something so fragile and broken, he hated smelling fear in the air around him. He hated it because that's all he's been avoiding his whole life, Then all he thought to do was blaming the omega for not taking care of himself as he should. For being a drunk bitch, as if he no blame for what had happened.

It wasn't hard to pass the cops at the door, one of them even laughed and said to Voight that 'protecting a pregnant male omega was the worst job he ever had', Voight just laughed, memorizing the name of the police officer for later.

He's still trying to justify why he went to that hospital, he's not the type to take chances like that, especially without a backup plan. 

Casey was sleeping, his belly bigger than the last time Voight saw him, suddenly, all he managed to do was touch Casey's tense skin and feel it move underneath. The damned baby moved towards him, snuggling against his touch, the smell of happy omega invaded the air and he can't move for two whole minutes, just standing there feeling that subtle and delicate movement. A strange chill ran through his body, it was his daughter, his own blood growing there, he failed, he took a step back and lost his breath.

Voight has done many things in his life, but killing a baby, his baby, is not one of them, he would never do that. Not even the anger he feels for Casey would make him do that.

Instinct reigned over him, finally waking up in his mind, he may hate Casey for his weakness and stubbornness, but he cannot hate what he carries in his belly. He can reject and refuse to accept, but he can no longer hurt. He approaches the bed and watches Casey sleep, his belly resting against a pillow, easy access for Voight to touch, so he touch it again.

He slides his hand a little more without waking Casey and feels small ripples under the skin, the girl kicks hard, Justin used to kick like that too. He smiles, at the size of the fireman's belly it's too late to do anything about it. This girl refuses to gave up.

There is nothing in this world that convinces him that he wants to be close to Casey or that daughter, but then, why did he become paralyzed when he saw the lieutenant's taut belly? Why did he want to touch it? Why not just eliminate omega? He cannot explain.

Justin always wanted to have a brother, but after Camille's difficult pregnancy came cancer and Voight finally buried the possibility of having another child, until that damn omega appeared in his life and insisted on maintaining the pregnancy.

Maybe Detective Dawson is right and times are changing, men like Hank Voight don't usually show any mercy, but then there he was standing next to the lieutenant making empty threats when in fact all he wanted to do was touch his belly again and feel that little worm moving, like he did with Justin.

He is no longer able to hurt that girl, he knows that. He may continue to denying and shouting, but he will not touch her. Anything he says about her fatherhood will be a lie, because he smelled her in the air, the smell of his own blood, his offspring.

The same smell that Justin had at birth, and he loved it. He won't say it out loud, but he'll be a father again and it scares him to the bone.

Then Casey wakes up and the sequence of offenses and accusations is staggering. He offends Casey when all he really wants to do is ask him to go back to sleep and let him keep touching his belly, but the idiot omega is willing to challenge him and as much as Voight no longer wants to kill him, he considers punching him to make him shut.

What followed was a series of offenses and threats, a pair of handcuffs, an altruistic detective, now here he is alone, lying on the couch, rubbing himself against the scent of the damn omega to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, not easy to redeem Voight, but he evolved in the series and I like that. I love this character and I love to write about him. I didn't include Alvin Olinsky or Gabriela Dawson here because I am not going to talk about them, imagine that they are there somewhere. Thanks for the support and don't be upset with me, soon we will have another couple, because I am a terrible person. :)


	22. Everything You think of me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just need an light and cute chapter. Thanks for reading. <3

_"I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I'm not enough_   
_Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up_   
_Am I more than just a song of every high and every low_   
_Remind me once again just who I am because I need to know"_

Casey doesn't mind wearing the barracks uniform to leave the hospital, he was never vain, indeed, the gray shirt and blue jacket are the only things left of his belongings, the rest were lost in the fire. 

Attentive, he listens to all medical recommendations and waits for the last exams, Voight's inopportune visit cost him another day of hospitalization, but now he is ready to leave.

Severide is there, waiting for him as he said he would be and, something he saw with the other lieutenant made him laugh.

"What?" Severide ask confused.

"Nothing, it's just ..." Casey points to the flowers in the lieutenant's hands. 

"Stop laughing, okay? Shay made me bring it. They're for you!" He pushes the flowers into Casey's hands awkwardly. "I'm trying to be gentle here, Casey ..."

Casey held the flowers, the silly laugh still plastered on his face. "You never gave flowers to another man before, did you, Sev?"

"What? No, I never ... Did you like it, Matty?"

Then Casey notices insecurity in Severide's voice, the alpha who is always sure of himself, is afraid to not please him.

"Yes, they're so pretty, Kelly!" He hugs the bouquet against his chest to show Severide how much he liked the surprise. "Thank you, and thanks for coming, Kel."

Severide smiles, he touches Casey's cheek with his fingertips. "Have you ever gotta flowers before, Matty?"

"No, I never ... Who would give me flowers?"

Severide bites his lip, he has not yet gotten used to Matty's painful sincerity. "This is good, because I don't want anyone else giving you flowers." He approaches and kisses the other lieutenant's lips. "Only I can do this ..."

Casey blushes, he looks the flowers again and now Severide is laughing.

"Shy, huh?" Severide likes that. "Come on, I'll take you home." He holds out his arm for Casey to take, the omega accepts and they head to the parking lot.

Severide's car is a sporty model, low, it makes Casey squirm to get into the vehicle. This did not go unnoticed by the alpha.

"I can buy another car ..." Severide says scratching his head.

"Buy it? No, it's not necessary, I mean, you love this car, Kel ..." Casey replies embarrassed.

"It's not comfortable for you or the baby. Come on, Matty? It's just a car." 

"But it's your car, and I know how much you love it." He rubs the side of his belly slowly.

"Any pain there, Matty?" Severide asks before starting the car.

"No, she is agitated, that's all."

Severide starts the car. "Okay, let's take this doll home to sleep."

_"You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing_   
_You say I am strong when I think I am weak_   
_And you say I am held when I am falling short_   
_And when I don't belong, oh You say I am Yours_   
_And I believe"_

The apartment that Severide shares with Shay is large, spacious, with exposed brick walls and aerial plumbing, Casey has never been here before. The first thing that catches his eye is the spiral staircase that leads to the second floor, then he imagines that he will stay on the sofa, he won't be able to climb that ladder anyway.

"Don't worry, our room is down here, I made a deal with Shay, I'll show you, Matty."

The room is warm and comfortable, Casey blushes when sees there's only one bed there. "There's only one bed ..." He murmurs. Severide shrugs.

"Yes, we are going to sleep together ..." He shut up, they hadn't talked about it yet. "I mean, I can sleep on the couch, no problem, we don't have to ..."

"Do you want to sleep with me, Kelly?" He asks as if this is too surreal to believe. 

"Hey, but of course I do, Matty, so do you want to sleep with me? We can just share if you don't. I don't want you to feel forced or..."

"I ..." He fell silent when saw Shay come down the stairs and run up to him and hug him.

"Welcome home, Matt!"The blonde surrounds Matt's body with her hands, analyzing the size of his belly. "This girl is growing up fast! Are you hungry?"

"No, I'm fine, a little sleepy ... Thanks for having me here, I promise I'll leave as soon as I find a new apartment, Shay."

"Take your time, you're home here, Matt." Shay releases him, looks at Severide. "Go rest, I can make dinner later." She pretends to be surprised to see the flowers in Casey's hands. "I'm going to put it in a vase. I put some clothes in there for you, it's nothing expensive or fancy, but we can go out and buy more later, Matt."

"Thank you, Shay..."

"Perfect, don't make any noise, I have visitors up there, boys." Taking the flowers from Matty's hands and leaving them alone again.

"I gotta go to work now, but I'll be back before dinner, wait for me." He kisses Casey's forehead and strokes his cheek with his thumb. "Are you going to be okay here, Matty?"

"Yes, I will ..." He looks at the bed. "I just want to get some more sleep." Severide smiles and heads to the door to leave. "Kelly ..." He turns to Casey when he heard him call his name. "Thank you for having us ..."

"Don't thank me. Please. This is your home now."

"Hmm, could you bring me some ice cream?" He asks ashamed. Severide smiles. "I'm having this wish thing right now ..." 

"I could do better." He approaches Casey again. "We can go out later and have some ice cream. What do you think, Matty?"

"Like a date? I'm Surprised at how easily this topic flows now." He observes in a good mood, is a little nervous with all this attention.

"Do you wanna go in a date with me, Matty?"

"How many ice creams can I have?" Casey laughs, the idea seems irresistible.

"How many can you eat?"

"Many." He rubs his belly. Severide looks at his hand on his stomach. 

"We are not going to let our doll feel like it. I'll be right back." He puts his hand over Matt's. "Daddy won't be late, doll."

_ _

_"The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me_   
_In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity"_


	23. I meant, every word I said...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Every time you're near I feel like I'm in heaven  
Feeling high"

_"I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight_   
_No promises_   
_Baby, now I need to hold you tight_   
_I just wanna die in your arms_   
_Here tonight"_

Severide think it's funny to see Casey with ice cream on his chin, he reaches out and wipes it. Casey doesn't move away, he just waits for the alpha to clean it up.

"I think I ruined the shirt Shay gave me."

"It's just ice cream, she won't even notice. Here, it's clean." Severide ends with a kiss on Casey's icy lips. "You really like this, huh?" He says smiling, Casey has devoured four ice cream cones since they arrived. 

"I hate it ..." Casey replies rubbing the base of his belly as they walk back home. "I really hate."

Severide bursts out laughing. "What do you mean? You seemed to love it a minute ago, Matty."

"Yes, but now ..." He takes a deep breath. "I think I'm going to be sick."

Severide is no longer laughing, he stops in front of Casey looking him up and down. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Casey smiles, pleased by the alpha's concern. "It's okay, I just, I shouldn't eat everything she wants me to eat, Sev... I'm fine, I promise, please, don't look me that way."

There is a moment of silence where Severide seems to try to believe that everything is fine. "I'm sorry, but since you got pregnant, I've been worried all the time."

"Worried about me?" Casey shoves his hands in his pants pockets. "I mean, I ..." Embarrassed.

"Exactly that, I worry about you, if you are safe, if you are not in pain ... I care, Matty, I really do. That's what partners do, isn't it? They care about each other. "

Casey looks away, he watches some people around, it's a nice night and the streets are full. "Are you and I partners, Sev?"

"Yes." Severide shrugs as if this is too obvious to question. Suddenly the mood change between them and Casey keeps his gaze off.

"Casey what is it?" Severide touches his chin and raises his head. "What's it?"

"I just ... I just remembered that we are firefighters and, that's our lemma..."

"What ...? No! I'm not repeating any lemma, I'm talking about the two of us and our baby girl here ..." Talking about his daughter makes Casey smile, Severide holds his face in his hands. "I really mean it, okay? About us, our family. What are you afraid of, Matty?"

"Severide ... I'm happy for that, believe me, but it scares me when you say that, I'm afraid that you will change your mind, I mean, she's not your real daughter and, you might get sick of us one day ..." Severide is silent, Casey looks at him, the alpha is pale. "Sev?"

"I messed up with you, I was a scoundrel before and I deserve it, I deserve that you don't trust me, but, I'm changing, Casey, and I really want to do this to you." Severide takes Casey's hands. "Tell me, Matty, do I scare you?"

"No! No, you don't ... You are the best thing in my life, Kelly ..." He says blushing, a shy smile on his lips. "You and my daughter..."

_"I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight_   
_No promises_   
_Baby, now I need to hold you tight_   
_I just wanna die in your arms"_

Severide slides his hand over Casey's swollen belly. "More ice cream, doll?"

"Oh no! If I have more ice cream, our first date will be a disaster, Kel." He says and then blushes even more. 

"Are you sure you don't want to have some dinner with me, I think we can still find a nice place with candles and everything." Severide proposes.

"No, I'm fine, I think you've had enough of us tonight ..."

"Don't even think about it, this is our first date, I gotta plans for you, Casey."

"And do your plans involve more food, Kelly?" Casey can't hide a yawn, Severide realizes.

"Tired, Matty?"

"Sorry, it's one of those pregnancy things ... I'm ruining this, aren't I?"

"You're doing great, Matty. I don't even know how to say it, but you look so handsome tonight!" Casey is flushed. "So beautiful and your smell ..."

"My smell?" He asks unsure.

"It's delicious!" Severide smiles, holding his face again and kissing Casey's lips,

It's the first time Casey has been kissed in public, but he doesn't say that, just seizes the moment.

Severide slides his hand up and down on his face. "I will take you home and take care of you, I promise." Severide puts his arm around Casey's shoulders and kisses his forehead affectionately. "You and baby need to rest."

"You're going to ruin this girl so badly, Sev."

"That's what daddy's do, isn't it?"

"I know this is not the type of date you planned ..."

"My only plan was to see you satisfied and put you to bed to rest, everything is going very well so far, and you know what? You are going to sleep like an angel, Casey."

"Now you're spoiling me."

"Someone has to do this for you."

_"I don't want to run away, I want to stay forever_   
_Throught time and time_   
_No promises"_

"So is our date over?" Casey asks when they return to Severide's apartment. "I know you always go out with beautiful people and have hot dates ... I can't have sex right now, but I can ..."

"What are you talking about, Matty? Do you think this is what I want from you?"

"No, I just thought ... Did you really have fun with me tonight, Kelly?"

"Yes, everything was perfect!" Severide replies, he knows Casey's need to feel secure about their relationship."That's our perfect date, Matty, everything's okay...It's not about sex or beautiful people, it's about you and me, we're doing well here, and now we're going to bed together and, I'm going to keep you warm while you sleep beautifully sexy in one of my T-shirts. Tomorrow morning we're going out to buy more clothes for you, but, I want to you keep sleeping with one of my t-shirts, because that's how things work now. That's my perfect date with you, Casey."

_"I don't wanna run away, I don't wanna be alone_   
_No Promises_   
_Baby, now I need to hold you tight_   
_Now and forever my love_   
_No promises"_


	24. My unborn child

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I knew it when I met you  
I'm not gonna let you runaway"

The day dawned with Casey on his knees in the bathroom, vomiting and coughing, now on an empty stomach he can relax some more.

"Are you okay, Matty?"

"Sorry about that, you barely slept because of me, Kel."

Severide's fingertips draw imaginary circles over Casey's bare belly. "I'm fine, Matty, don't worry about it." He keeps his head resting on the omega's shoulder while Casey talks about something.

"Hmmm, I haven't had that much ice cream since high school, I guess ..."

"I bet you were the most popular guy in school at that time, Matty." Severide says smiling.

"Nah ... I was never popular, I was more of the weird guy in the class, that's all. 'The most likely to kill the parents, if the mother was not already a crazy bitch.' That's what they wrote in my yearbook."

"What, who did this?" Severide moves to look at him.

"Someone who thought it could be funny. We were kids, it was just a stupid joke, Kel."

Severide frowns, as if this is strange information. "How is that possible?" He tries to stay calm. "I look at you and I can only imagine how handsome you should be on yours 16, pretty like an angel, Matty."

"Well, I wasn't, I was awkward, my mom being in prison didn't help much, so none of the Casey would ever be an angel."

Severide is silent, he knows that Casey's family background is a very complicated matter, then Casey sighs and keeps talking.

"I was the 'son of the woman who killed the husband', most were sorry for me, others were afraid, it depended on the situation." 

Severide remains silent, he doesn't want to bring up painful memories.

"Most people just stayed away...But they used to say things about me and my family..."

"What kind of things?" Severide snorts, people are cruel sometimes.

Casey shrugs. "Many things, I can't remember well, they used to change the subject whenever I gets close. I was ..." Casey coughs. "I was called 'trouble Casey' ..."

Severide frowns again, looking at Casey this time. Casey smiles, a sad little smile. "I was the 'trouble Casey' back then, I'm not proud of that, Kelly."

"What are you talking about, Matty?" Severide sits looking at Casey in the eyes, Casey sits on his hands and closes his shirt, ashamed.

"I was ... I was kind of stupid and had this weird definition about relationships, my cycles were messed up, I went into heat very early and ... Bad things happen to omegas like me, you know that ..." He smiles as if it's nothing, just routine.

Severide looks at him as if Casey is a wounded animal. "What kind of bad things, Matt?" 

"It's nothing, it's just ... Forget it, I don't even know why we're talking about this, Kelly."Casey gets up, trying to change the subject. "I need to take a shower."

Severide is not going to let this matter die like that, but he is in doubt whether or not to insist now. "Tell me, Matty, did anyone force you to do anything?" He asks gently.

"Nobody forces an omega in heat, Kelly, that's what happens..."

"Who...?"

"I don't know why I'm talking about this anymore. Can we just change the subject, please." Severide is not convinced, but he will not force it now, perhaps later. Casey looks around the room as if looking for a quick way out. "Do you want me to sleep in the couch now?"

"What ...? No! Why would I want that?" Severide asks, confused.

"About what I said, Kel ..."

"And what did you say, Matty?" Severide feels like he's missing something here. 

“I was never an angel, Sev. I used to ... Actually, I have sex with strangers because nobody wants to date an omega as damaged as me, just ... It's just sex and my cycles are so unbalanced, I never know for sure when, or if they are going happen, so I usually go out looking for someone who wants to loose their time with me. Maybe I'm the bitch Voight said."

Severide just unsure how or if he should keep asking. "I don't care about any of that, Matty. I don't ..."

"You will, not now, but one day you will, and then you will go looking for someone better who can give you a real family, not someone like me with a daughter from another alpha. It will happen, Sev, but I don't blame you, it's not your fault. At some point, all the shit I am will be too much for you, I know that. "

Casey says this with such certainty that Severide is offended, he swallows his pride and tries to touch his face. "Who told you that, Matt? Who made you believe that you are not worth it?"

Casey looks away, eyes full of water. "I'm sorry, I blew it now."

"Please just listen to what you are saying. You are apologizing for what others have done to you, this is so wrong."

Casey takes a deep breath and lets Severide squeeze him in his arms, he rests his head against the alpha's shoulder. "Damn it! I'm pathetic!" He murmurs against Severide's shirt.

"I'm worse than you and look at me, I'm very lucky now." He steps away and holds Casey's head in his hands. "Don't let Voight or anyone else live in your head like that, you're worth it, Matty, and, if you allow me, I'll be the father of your girl and we'll never talk about it again, okay?"

Casey is still not convinced. Severide presses his fingers to the back of his head to get his attention.

"And I promise that I will be the most unbearable father she can ever have, I will take her to school, I will scare all the boys around her, because I know she will be incredibly beautiful like you are, and it will drive me crazy in jealousy of my little girl. I'm going to take her to the dance and all that the parents do, I will never leave you or her alone, because that's my choice, I want to be with you Casey. So don't give up on us now, I hope you make me a decent family man, not a drunk like I am now. I'm as damaged as you are, I'm so broken now, you can't just believe that I'm going to leave you because I need you so much, Matty..."

Casey is crying. He approaches and embraces Severide. The alpha is breathing quickly.

"I will ... I will teach her how to drive, I promise, I will be there ..." He says holding on to Casey's arms.

"I know, Kel. I know ..."

_"You gotta know that this is real, baby_   
_Why you wanna fight it?_   
_It's the one thing you can't choose"_

The door opened and Hank Voight entered the young man's office in a suit and tie.

"Sergeant Voight, what do I owe the visit to?" He gets up and walks over to Voight, extends his hand, but Voight does not return the greeting.

"I came because of my daughter."

"Your daughter?" The young man asks, taking his hand out, he knows Voight well enough not to be offended by his actions. "I didn't know you had a daughter, Sergeant."

"That's because she hasn't been born yet."

"So what can I do for your unborn daughter?"

"I want her custody, total and restricted. You are my lawyer, make it happen."

And then as mysteriously as he entered, he leaves, leaving the young lawyer without further explanation.

_"I swore on the head of our unborn child_   
_That I could take care of the three of us"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for all the kind comments, I love you. Remember to stay safe.


	25. I've been waiting on my own too long

_"This year's love had better last_

_Heaven knows it's high time_

_I've been waiting on my own too long"_   
  


_ _

Casey is not used to live this way, on this warm and comfortable home, being pampered and treated with such kindness and chivalry by Severide. They sleep together every night, Severide's scent soothes Casey's senses and strengthens him every day. There is a lot of healthy food and he is gaining weight now, so is his daughter. He's fine and safe, finally.

Severide has been spending a lot of time at home since Casey is here, he goes to work and comes back without wasting an extra minute outside, he was here every night to have dinner with Casey and, almost every morning to watch him wake up.  
Always making sure that Casey is comfortable and safe.  
He went to the doctor with Casey too, he didn't miss any appointments, he knows everything about the omega's daughter and his health. Everything a parent should know and do now.

Even so, Matt leaves an appointment in secret, he just wants to clear some private doubts with the doctor and would not have the courage to do that in front of Severide. This is what he did yesterday, with the excuse of going to a department store, Severide offered to accompany him, but Casey insisted on going alone.

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Matt. Now, come on, I can keep your secret." Shay said moving her arms quickly.

Casey looks at the floor, looking for a way to avoid further embarrassment. "My body is, I mean, I know it's hormones and everything, but ... This pregnancy thing is very confusing to me."

"We're still talking about you wanting to have sex, right?" She asks crossing her arms over the chest. 

"Shhh!" Casey reacts quickly as if this were some sin. "No, that's not it."

"So tell me, Matty, I'm a paramedic, I've seen it all before." She is really getting worried now. "What are you hiding there, Matt?" She asks pointing to the fact that Casey keeps his wrists against the chest, as if trying to protect something. "You're not doing this under pressure, are you? Severide said...?"

"No! He's not pressuring me to do anything! I'm the only one who wants this right now, but ..." He pulls his hands away from his chest and Shay can see the slight mark under his sweatshirt. "I need ... Please don't call bras, they are supports, chest supports, not nipples..." 

Shay looks at him trying to understand the reason for his shame, then Casey lifts his shirt and shows his chest, covered only by a type of black short top.

"They hurt if I don't use them, they're sensitive, but it's not bad when he touch, I just don't want him to think less of me 'cause of it." He explains.

"Less of you? Matty your body is forming a life, this is perfectly normal!" She touches it, just below the nipples. "Are you ashamed of your body? There's nothing to be ashamed of, Matt!" She analyzes Casey's face, he still hasn't said what is bothering him. "What...?"

"He doesn't touch me, I talked to the doctor, it's okay to have sex now, but he still doesn't touch me, maybe he has seen the changes and my body is not so good now..."

"This is not true." She says bluntly. "You look good."

"I don't know how to tell him this, that I want to have sex and ... Damn! I want him to fuck me so bad!" He says without thinking about his own words."What?"

Shay laughs that made Casey blush even more, he is standing in the kitchen and tries to silence her from the overreaction. "Sorry!" She says lower.

"Don't do that!" He asks, Severide is in the bedroom, he doesn't want him to listen. Shay starts laughing again and Casey snorts with nerves. He rubs his blond hair. "Shit, Shay! I'm never talking to you again!"

"Calm down, Matt! It was just ... Well, I'm surprised, that's all. It's not every day that you tell me something about..." She lowers her voice even more. "Sex..."

"Shhhhhh!" Casey says, regreting to started this conversation.

She stops laughing and looks at him trying to stay serious. "Okay, what do you want to do then?"

Casey is very flushed and unable to continue this conversation. "I talked to the doctor and, well, everything's fine ... I can ... huh ... I should want to, shouldn't I? We're fine and, well, I ..."

"AND?" She waits for the rest of the information.

"I don't know if I should and ... Well, I don't even know why I'm talking about it right anymore."

"Because I'm the best person to talk to about it, right?"

Casey looks around, his insecurity exuding roughly from him. "What if he doesn't want to? If he thinks I'm a whore offering myself this way?"

"Oh, he would love it!" She jokes, but there's no fun in that. "Sorry. You shouldn't be worried about that, Matt. Severide is really willing to make it work, I don't understand your insecurity about it."

"I have never been in a real relationship before, Shay. Not really. This thing with Sev is the first time it has happened, I am not good at keeping people around."

Shay sighs, it's weird to see someone like Matt Casey act like an insecure teenager. "Me neither, look at me, I am a complete disaster in dating and love. But one thing is for sure, Severide is really in love and willing to make this happen with you, just let it flow. If there is no more danger for your little girl and if he's making you get all wet, go there and jump on your man's lap!" She laughs again, making Casey blush even more. 

"Forget about it, I shouldn't even think about it now."

"Hey, if you're ashamed to get naked in front of him because of a 'chest support', wait until you're in pospartum diapers, Matt."

_"When you hold me like you do_   
_It feels so right, oh no_   
_I start to forget"_

He entered the room and closed the door behind him, Severide had just come out of the bath still wrapped in the towel. The alpha took a look at Matt's red face.

"Is everything okay, Matty?"

"Yes, something Shay told me ..." He disguises it by rubbing his red cheeks, Severie smiles.

"Did she go into too much details?" 

Casey frowns to convince Severide that this is what happened. " I guess. Going out?" He asks pointing to the clothes on the bed.

"No, I ... I actually thought about asking you out to dinner. What do you think, Matty?"

Casey is taken by surprise. "Ah, I need a shower and, well my clothes are not so nice and ..."

Severide approaches him and wraps his arms around Casey's round waist. "You look great! Let's go out and eat something different, what do you want to eat?" He says kissing Casey's cheek and slowly biting his neck. Casey moans, is very sensitive and Severide is making him horny, clumsy, he walks away and walks to the bathroom.

"Pizza! I want pizza and ... I'll be right back." He closes himself in the bathroom, his hormones are driving him crazy. 

_"If you love me got to know for sure_   
_'Cause it takes something more this time"_

Throughout all the dinner, Severide barely keep his hands off Casey, the alpha has a seductive smile on his lips and guides Casey gently by the hand, proud to be with him. Casey is not just a friend, it is not a blind date or a last sex option. Severide is not drunk when intertwines his fingers with his, nor is he maddened by the heat to the point of touching him. It's different, he's doing it because he wants to do it. 

On the other side, Casey doesn't have to pretend to be interested in whatever Severide says just to not be alone tonight, because he's really interested! And the smile on his face is legit.

"Are you happy, Matty?" The question takes Casey by surprise and he almost chokes on a slice of pizza, he coughs holding his belly and turning red, Severide leans over him worriedly. "Hey, easy there... Is everything okay?" He asks gently.

Casey takes a minute to recover. "Yes I am..."

"Well, take it easy, buddy." Severide says going back to sit down. 

"I mean, I'm happy, Kel. I really am and it scares me, but I'm really happy now."

Severide kept his hand on Casey's back the whole way home, protectively. Casey has never been treated like that before, so sweetly, it makes him want to cry. Damn hormones!

"Wait ..." He asks before Severide opens the car door for him to get in.

"Something wrong, Matty?" Severide looks around for any possible danger.

"No, not really. I just ... Do you want to? I mean, I want ... We can ..." He tilts his head awkwardly. "But i need to know if you wanna do ir with me, Kel..."

Severide looks at him confused, then a smile breaks out on his lips. "Do you mean...?"

"Yes, I ... I talked to the doctor, she said it would be good ..." He explains quickly. "We can do it, if you want..."

Severide smiles, a mixture of satisfaction and surprise on his face. "Is that what you and Shay were talking about then?" He's not offended or anything, just laughing.

Casey shrugs, trying to hide his shame. "I said nothing... I mean, I'm not the type to kiss and tell and... I'm babbling, am I not?"

"Believe me, Shay deserves to hear that sometimes, she's the one who 'kiss and tell'. Well, I don't want you to feel pressured, I don't mind waiting, Matty. We're fine with that."

"You do not want?" Casey is about to cry, hormones again.

Severide touches your face gently. "I do, I really do, Matty. You are the one I want the most. But I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm fine. Damn it! I'm horny right now, Sev."

"You're?" Severide gets closer to him, their bodies together, just Casey's belly between them. "So let me take you home and help you with that, Matty."

_"And when you kiss me_   
_On that midnight street_   
_Sweep me off my feet_   
_Singing: Ain't this life so sweet?"_

Being naked in front of Severide has never been easier for Casey, the alpha has always intimidated him, especially now that his body is going through so many changes, but the lust speaks louder and he undresses under the alpha's attentive eyes.

The blouse is the last, Casey hesitates, Severide approaches and puts his hands on his hips, feeling the omega's body tremble. Casey hides his face in the curve of Severide's neck.

"Have you changed your mind, Matty?" Severide whispers in his ear. "It's okay, we don't have to do this now." He tries to calm Casey.

Casey doesn't respond, he steps away and starts to lift his shirt to take it off, Severide keeps his eyes on him. Under the blouse comes the support Casey is wearing, it is nothing like a bra, nothing feminine, it is more like a short tank top slightly folded over the belly. Still, he seems embarrassed about it.

Severide holds his chin and forces Casey to look at him. "This is incredibly beautiful on you, Matty." He kisses Casey on the mouth, pulling out a strangled groan from him. 

Casey turns his back on him and Severide unbuttons gently, helping to remove the support, releasing his chest from the grip.

Casey keeps his hands covering his slightly swollen nipples. Severide turns him over and they face each other, then leans down and his face is between Casey's nipples, h

e closes his eyes and inhales the scent of the omega slowly. The moment is so intimate that it makes Casey want to cry again, but he doesn't.

When Severide's lips reach the nipple, Casey lets herself go. The sensation leaves him completely free. So there is no more shame, nothing.

Severide helps him to lie down comfortably and fits between his thighs, slowly crawling, with lips, no rush here.

Casey closes his eyes, hands on Severide's hair. The alpha lies down next to him, Casey opens his eyes and finds that he is being watched. Severide's smilling. "You look perfect, Matty."

And Casey believe, once in his life he believes he's good, rolling over the alpha's body, he takes the lead and rides Severide's hips as he wants.

_"So who's to worry_   
_If our hearts get torn_   
_When that hurt gets thrown_   
_Don't you know this life goes on"_

The next morning Casey awakes alone, naked and wrapped in sheets, the bathroom light is on, so he doesn't panic, Severide didn't let him. Like a lazy cat, he stretches out on the bed, his stomach growling hungry.

Severide comes back from the bathroom, all dressed. He is smiling and sits on the bed next to Casey.

"Morning, Kel..." He says, in no hurry to get out of bed.

"Awake..." He leans over and kisses Casey's lips. "Hungry?"

Casey just agrees. Severide touches his face. "I'm going to work, I got the coffee ready for you. Don't make my little girl hungry, Matty."

Casey smiles, satisfied. Severide slides his hand under the sheet and touches Casey's body. 

"You were a very dirty boy last night, Matty. And I loved it." He slides his fingers through the folds of Casey's vagina making him moan still very sensitive from the night before.

Casey tilts his head to seize the moment, Severide sticks a finger in slowly, he's still wet and open. Severide slides a second finger making Casey moan louder. Without taking his fingers out, Severide lies down beside him and moves his fingers tightly making Casey cling to his chest and moan without any shame.

"Come for me, Matty ... You are so hot and tight." 

Casey spreads his thighs as far as he can, rolling his hips to the rhythm of Severide's fingers, orgasm leaves him boneless on the bed. Severide stands there watching him gasp.

"You are amazing, omega ..."

Casey still has his eyes closed, so he didn't see Severide lean over and lick the fingers.

_"When you hold me like you do  
It feels so right, oh no  
I start to forget  
How my heart gets torn_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so grateful for the kind comments, I am working hard to keep the updates up, thanks for everything.  
Remember to stay safe.


	26. Heartbeating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Is it too late to pick the pieces up?  
Too soon to let them go?  
Do you feel damaged just like I do?"

Antonio tried to keep his face calm while watching Casey eat, but something is definitely bothering the detective, Casey is incredibly good-natured and healthy, which makes the news the detective has to give him even more difficult to tell.

"Tell me Antonio, what did you want to talk about so urgently?" Casey asks between mouthfuls, he knows he's been eating more than usual lately, but okay, he's starting to enjoy the pregnancy. He has gained weight since the last time Antonio saw him, he is flushed, healthy and visibly happy. 

The detective bites his lip before saying what he came for. "You look so good, Matt ..."

"You know, the good thing about being pregnant is that you can eat everything you want and blame the baby for it." Casey says smiling.

"I'm happy for you, Casey, really. You look great now and much more healthy!"

"Don't tell me you were looking forward to seeing my extra pounds, Antonio, so tell me the reason for that worried face of yours."

"I don't want to worry you, but maybe you should speak to a lawyer soon."

"What kind of lawyer?"

Antonio looks around. "We are still monitoring Voight's footsteps, I heard from one of my sources that he has been talking to the lawyer about your daughter's custody."

Severide has just answered a rescue call, he is still in the truck when he sees Casey approaching the Firehouse, walking slowly, eyes lost, his hands clasped together, visibly distressed.

"Casey?" He runs towards him, looks him up and down looking for what is afflicting him that bad. "What...?" He approaches Casey and places his coat on his shoulders.

"I'm cold..." Casey murmurs, he is wearing only a woolen shirt, without a coat, Severide rubs his arms trying to warm him up.

"Come with me." Severide brings him inside the Firehouse.

A blanket was placed over Casey's shoulders, he is still shaking when Shay examines him. Severide watches in silence, worried.

"It's okay, I'm going to prepare the ambulance, we're going to take you to the hospital, Matt." Shay informs, there is no room for discussion, she will take Casey to the hospital, period, so she gets up and leaves Severide's office.

Severide tries to make eye contact with him, but Casey avoids it. "What is it, huh? What left you like that, Matty? Talk to me, I can help you ..." He asks gently. "Talk to me, love."

"Voight ... He asked for custody of my daughter, Kel." Casey says through his teeth. "He wants to take her away from me as soon as she is born ..."

"No, Matty, he won't do that! He can't!" Severide tries to convince him of this. Shay comes back.

"We are ready, we gotta go, Kelly!"

Casey is taken to the hospital, Severide remains by his side while he is examined again, he is fine, just a little anxious and distressed. 

Severide remained there, sitting next to Casey's bed while he slept, the worried drawn on his face. A knock leads to the door, he gets up and goes to check who it might be.

It's Detective Dawson.

"How's he doing?" Antonio is visibly concerned.

"What does Voight want now?" Severide asks bluntly. "He has no claim on our daughter, Antonio!"

"I know, okay? I didn't mean to say that, but Matt needs to be prepared, Voight won't give up that easily."

Severide rubs his head, he's about to lose his temper. "He's fine, but that can't be right. Voight has no rights ..." He is changing the tone of his voice, Antonio tries to calm him down.

"Okay, buddy, let's just let him rest. I'II get you some coffee."

Antonio brings a paper cup with coffee and hands it to the lieutenant. Severide accepts, they are seated in the corridor of the waiting room.

"Voight's just trying to regain control of the situation, he's surrounded on all sides, and he is the type of person who needs to have some control." He explain it to Severide.

"He doesn't want to take care of his daughter, he just wants to hit Matty." Severide knows that. Antonio just agrees.

"I'm going to ask for another restraining order, even so, don't leave him alone now, he needs you, Severide."

Hours later Severide wakes up in the darkness of the hospital bedroom, scared, he tries to stay alert, but everything is silent, the bed is empty, Casey is standing beside it, hugging his own belly, muttering to himself.

He gets up slowly so as not to startle Casey and walks over to him, Casey doesn't seem to notice him, he remains holding the belly.

"Matty ..." He calls in a calm voice.

"He won't take her ..." Casey replies without looking at Severide. "He won't, I will take care of her, she is mine, Severide." He says without shaking.

"I know, Matty ..." He tries to touch him, but Casey walks away. "Matty?" He asks confused.

Casey looks over his shoulder, there is no more fear in his eyes; the omega's deep blue eyes are sharp and fierce, Severide has never seen him like this before, the protective instinct is starting to flow violently in Casey, he steps back, respecting Casey's territory.

"She is the only reason I am alive now." He says in a firm voice. "He's not going to touch her, Severide." 

Severide has seen Casey act with courage before, he is good at it, brave, heroic, protective, but he has never seen this ferocity in his eyes before. The sweet and shy omega is no longer there

"Casey, he won't ..." Severide approaches slowly. Casey reaches out and pulls him away.

"I will take care of her! SHE'S MY CHILD!" He screams and, still holding his belly, leaves the room, leaving Severide paralyzed.

_"And this feels like drowning_  
_Trouble sleeping_  
_Restless dreaming"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to the quarantine, I am watching some episodes of Chicago Fire and this is giving me another perception of the characters. Thanks for reading, stay safe.


	27. I found a love for me...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I found a love for me"

_"'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love_   
_Not knowing what it was_   
_I will not give you up this time"_

"Where is he?" Shay asks when she gets home, the first aid bag in his hands, Severide just points to the closed bedroom door, there is a cut on his right cheek, the skin is irritated around. "Kelly ..."

"Just make sure he's okay, Shay. I can handle the rest." 

Shay leaves him there in the living room and walks to the bedroom, she knocked lightly on the door and enters."Matty?" The room is dark, Casey's silhouette on the bed. "Matty, I need to examine you, okay?" She approaches the bed, putting the bag on the floor.

Casey's blue eyes are on her, watching her every move. Shay is not a threat to him, yet, he is alert.

"It's okay, my dear. I'm just going to ..." She stops when she raises the sheet that covers him. "Hmm, I need help here, Matt."

Casey doesn't move, she sighs.

"Matty, I know things are confusing now, but it's me, Shay, we're friends since I dont know when, you always trusted me and I need you trust me now." She insists. "I need to check if your daughter is okay..."

Speak about his daughter was a mistake, Casey sits up abruptly making Shay fall on his back. The noise makes Severide run into the room.

"Matty!" He helps Shay to get up, Casey looks at him confused, eyes glassy.

"Okay, he did nothing." Shay pulls herself together. "It's okay, Kelly, it's okay. I can handle here."

Severide puts an ice pack on his face, always watching the bedroom door, he left Shay and Casey alone for some time. The silence is making him nervous. A few moments later Shay leaves the bedroom.

Severide's eager for answers.

"He's fine, physically speaking. But I'm worried about the rest, Kelly. He needs help."

"I'm trying, but he won't even let me come near him! He's acting on instinct, trying to protect his daughter from any alpha around, that includes me, Shay."

"You said you could handle this."

"And I can! I'll handle it! I just don't know how to get close now ..." He leaves the desperation in his voice. "I don't want him to get hurt."

"Whatever you have in mind, do it, he may not have a lot of time now, Kelly."

"I can't ... Force him to accept me around!" Severide rubs his head again. "I'm losing him, Shay ..."

Shay has known Severide for over three years, the friendship became brotherhood and complicity and, she has never seen him so desperate that way before.

"Hey, man." She hugs him. "Nobody said it would be easy, but everything will be fine, it will pass."

Exhausted, Severide enters the room, Casey is sitting on the bed with his back to him, looking out the window, hands around his belly protectively.

"I need to rest, Matty, I'm just going to lie down and stay here, okay?" He approaches the bed and arranges the pillows. "I know you're a little out of your mind, but I promise, I won't touch you, just need to get some sleep."

Casey doesn't respond. Severide lies down on the bed, he put his hands under the pillow.

"Try to get some rest, Matty, tomorrow we can talk with a lawyer, I promise Voight won't take her away from us." Facing Casey's silence, Severide falls asleep, he's exhausted, hasn't had a good night's sleep since the day he found Casey wandering in front of the barracks, two days ago.

He wakes up during the night, Casey's body is tied to his, clinging to him as if he were jis last lifeline. The omega is sweating and breathing loudly, Severide tightens his arm around him and keeps him like this.

_"Baby, I'm dancing in the dark_   
_With you between my arms_   
_Barefoot on the grass"_

He wakes up with fingers touching his face, opens his eyes lazily and finds Casey lying on his side with his shoulders on him, the omega's face is very close to his, the blue eyes watching Severide as an frightened animal.

"Hi good morning." He takes chances. Casey appears to be in a trance watching him. "Are you okay, Matty?" The voice comes out hoarse, but it catches Casey's attention.

"I hurt you ..." He says tracing the cut on Severide's cheek with his fingertips. "I hurt you, Sev..."

Severide acts quickly, before Casey sinks further into it.

"No! You didn't do anything, I'm fine, I've had worse on a good day. Casey looks at me, you didn't do anything, I'm fine." He sits on the bed and tries to keep Casey's attention.

"I tried to touch you, and I know it was wrong, you are doing this to protect our daughter, none of this is your fault, do you understand me.Matty?"

"Whose fault is it then?" Casey is looking away from him. "I lost my mind, Sev..." He repeat in tears.

"Don't do that, Matty. Don't hurt yourself like that, it's okay, we gonna fix this." Severide gets up from the bed. "I'm going to make you coffee, get dressed, let's talk to some people, Matty. Voight won't get away with it."

It was Severide's father, Benny Severide, who appointed this lawyer, it was nothing new for Benny to have the contact of a lawyer in hand, the man had more divorces than Severide can tell. Still keeping a low profile on this, Severide didn't go into detail about why he needed a lawyer now, Benny just agreed without asking questions.

Casey kept quiet all the way to the office, watching the cold streets of Chicago. In the distance a fire siren caught his eye, he watched the battalion 66 truck cross the street and disappear around the corner. Severide's hand gently touches his thigh, he looks at the alpha, the cut on his face still visible making Casey want to cry again.

"You miss it, huh? You'll be in your truck soon, Matty."

Casey only agrees, returning to the battalion after giving birth is becoming an increasingly distant dream for him.

"That firehouse is not the same without you, Matty. Everyone is asking why you left, I didn't say anything about you being pregnant. Chief Boden didn't speak either. We can do this together if you want."

Casey was never the type to tell the things that are going on, he learned not to talk about his life, nobody really cares.

"I shouldn't tell you this, but they are raising money to help rebuild your home, Matty."

This brings Casey out of his lethargy, but he still doesn't say anything. Rebuilding his home is something he is not hopeful about.

Severide parked, they get in the office and waited for the secretary to call them, Casey stood beside him in the hall, he is visibly tense and Severide would like to calm him down, but not all the pheromone in this world is able to help now.

"Hey, Matty..." He whispers, smiling. "You didn't tell me if you chose a name for her. She is almost here and doesn't have a name yet." It is a desperate attempt to bring Casey back, but the omega does not respond, he slides his tongue over the lower lip and clasps his hands in his pockets.

"I promise I won't interfere with her name's choice, as long as you doesn't call her Lucy or something like that." The comment makes Casey frown, that's good. He starts to say something, but the secretary calls them.

_"I hope that someday I'll share her home_   
_I found a lover_   
_To carry more than just my secrets"_

Shay is in the kitchen when they return, she is looking forward to news. Casey walks in behind Severide, hands in his pockets, looking down.

"So?"

Casey goes to the bedroom, Severide extends his hands not knowing what to say. "Voight asked for a paternity exam, he claims that ... Well, if she is his daughter, he wants custody, otherwise he wants Casey's head."

"What?"

Severide looks at the bedroom door. "I will ..." He goes over there to stay with Casey.

He finds Casey standing at the window watching the street below. He slowly approaches him, standing behind him, resting the chin on his shoulder.

"That night, in that bar, I just wanted some company, to get out of my head a little and... I don't even remember why I approached him." Casey rubs his eyes with his palms. "He took me behind the bar, I would have let him fuck me right there, Sev, it was just an adventure, nothing more."

"Don't punish yourself for that, Matty..."

"It had been so long since I was with someone, I was so desperate to be touched, Sev." He takes a deep breath. "I don't even know how I'm going to explain to my daughter that I had to beg to be fucked that night and ... all that shit now."

"You don't have to explain any of this, Matty, you haven't done anything wrong." Severide tightens his arms around him, as if to prove his point.

"He's going to abandon her somewhere, just to get back at me and my stupidity. I lived in a shelter long enough to never want to come anywhere close one." Casey says, Severide just listens. "Voight just wants to take her away from me. I cannot allow him to do this to me, he can't take my daughter, Severide."

"He won't..."

"If something happens to me, promise you van take care of her and not let him get close, Severide."

It scares Severide, he takes Casey by the shoulders and turns him to face him. "What are you talking about, Casey?" He asks distressed.

"He won't give up on destroying me, Sev." He says with tears streaming down his cheeks. "He will destroy me."

"No! Don't say that! Voight won't do anything, Matty! He won't even come near us, I promise you."

"Oh, it never ends ..." He lets Severide hug him. "My breasts are hurting." He mumbles without actually complaining.

Severide smiles, he puts his hands under Casey's shirt and reaches for the bra buttons, releasing him, Casey lets out a sigh of relief.

"That was the easiest bra to open in my life." Severide jokes with a tired laugh from Casey.

"They're not bras ..."

"No matter what they are, they look incredible on you, Matty."

Casey raises his head and looks at Severide, a childlike laugh on his lips. "Is that some kind of fetish of yours, Sev?"

"You're my fetish, Matty, all of yours. I don't even know why I waited so long to realize this." He kisses Casey's lips, making the omega smiles again.

"I'm sorry for hurting your face, Sev." He's looking at that cut again.

"You know what they say about scarred guys, don't you? Girls love it." He jokes.

"What girls?" Casey makes a face, pretending seriousness. Severide laughs out loud tilting his head back, so he kneels and hugs Casey's round waist.

"This one, is my only girl." He lightly kisses Casey's taut skin making the omega moan back. "She's ours, Matty, he's not going to change that."

There are tears in Casey's eyes when he extends his hand offering it to Severide, the alpha accepts and stands up facing Casey.

"Make love to me, Kelly..."

"Matty ..." He wants to be sure of what Casey is asking for.

"I'm fine, I just need ... I need to feel you now."

Casey says in a low voice, Severide takes his hands and puts them against his chest, Casey feels the alpha's heart beating fast.

"Can you feel it? That's what happens every time you're around me, Matty. I used to think it was anger, but now I know it's just you that makes my heart beat like that."

"Sev ..." Casey is looking into his eyes now, speechless.

"I feel you all the time, Matty. I want to be your partner for as long as you want me here with you."

"I want to!" Casey responds quickly, kissing Severide's lips. "I wanna be your mate, Sev..."

"Are you sure about this, Matty?"

"Yes, I was never so sure about anything. I want it since the day Andy introduced us ... It was you, all the time you, Severide!"

Severide holds Casey's face in his hands. "We will do this, but not now, soon, when our daughter is born ... You are already my partner, Matty, nothing is going to change that."

All Severide wants to do is make Casey happy, relaxed. He wants to hold him in his arms until this storm passes, to keep him safe until he can give birth and then take care of him.

_"I have faith in what I see_   
_Now I know I have met an angel in person"_

Casey's sweaty body rests languidly beside Severide, lying on his side, the alpha caresses Casey's exposed hip lightly, his hands gently sliding over his belly and moving down to the middle of Casey's legs. The omega pulls his thighs apart giving him space and letting Severide touch him. 

Casey groans, he's hypersensitive, Severide's knot left him like that, but he doesn't complain, he likes to be touched that way, wet, open, stretched, he still doesn't know how to say this to Severide, but he feels he doesn't need to, Severide already knows that.

He leans back, his ass aligned with Severide's cock, oiled hard like stone, he guides Severide's cock to his ass, has never had anal sex before, but he has never had a relationship like this either, without thinking too much, he tilts his hips using his hands as a lever until finds his own rhythm.

Severide lets him do as he wants, he is fascinated by the image of Casey moving and moaning at him. He keeps his fingers working inside Casey, while the omega keeps rubbing himself on him, without actually penetrating him, this makes the alpha come again, on Casey's soft ass skin.

Casey sweating and moaning is the most beautiful sight Severide has ever seen.

Maybe he needs to explore Casey's fetishes more, for now he is exhausted and just pulls Casey against his body and falls asleep beside him.

_"I found a love for me"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me for the mistakes, my internet connection is very bad.


	28. Nancy...

_"I will be strong if you're strong_   
_Cause you are my heartbeat_   
_What can go wrong can go wrong_   
_You're my everything, so..."_

Casey winced slightly when the doctor poked him in the back, he leaned over and tried to relax next. He hates to be examined and poked in that way. Doctor's makes some notes and tells him to get dressed, it's done.

Sighing, he puts his shirt back and tries to button it quickly, before he could do it the door is opened and the haunting figure of Hank Voight enters the exam room.

"I think I was very clear when I said that it would be part of everything that involves this pregnancy, omega." He snarls arrogantly. Casey snorts angrily, he wants to laugh about it but he can't.

"And you are...?" The doctor asks, confused by the man's intrusion.

"I am the father of this ... little girl." He says angrily in his voice.

"Ah, we're done here." The doctor informs.

"Not so fast, doctor. I want to be informed of everything that is going on with my daughter."

Casey gets up from the exam table, he won't stay here to hear this shit. "Your lawyer will receive a memo, Voight."

_"I'll be your solid ground,_   
_No one can break through_   
_So if you fall down"_

Severide saw Antonio park in front of the fire station. The detective walks to him.

"Got your message, Severide. What happened?"

Severide waves to Antonio to follow him, he wants to avoid others' ears here. "Come with me." Severide is tense and, particularly, still does not sympathize with the detective in the same way that Casey does. So he gets to the point. "Voight."

Antonio leans against the wall. "Yeah..."

"What I want to know is what are the chances of him actually getting custody of the baby."

"Legally not many, but Voight is not the type of person who uses legal means to get what he wants."

Severide was afraid to hear that. "What can we do to keep him away from her, Antonio?"

"I'm trying, but he has support in and out of the Police, Voight does a lot of business, he is being protected all the time."

"What do you mean? Should we just wait for him to take our daughter away?" He asks, desperate.

"No! But I would prepare for war, Severide. Voight won't give up so easy."

"Do you have children, detective?"

Antonio just nods his head.

"Can you imagine someone like Voight trying to get them out of you?"

Casey stayed on the bed until the sky darkened outside, he didn't sleep, he just lay there, a pillow serving as a support for his belly, reducing the pressure and weight on the hips. He lost track of time, his body was cold despite the heavy blanket over him.

Far away from there he heard the bell ring, so far away that it took him a while to realize it was here, on his door. He got up and covered himself with a robe. Before opening it, he looked through the peephole and what he saw on the other side made him go even paler. 

The smile on Nancy Casey's red lips disappeared as soon as he opened the door.

"Mom?"

"Hello, Matt ..." She looked at the curve of Casey's stomach without any shame. "Now I understand why you weren't there waiting for me."

"I didn't know it would be today." He tries to cover his belly with his hands but it is too late.

"Hmm, are you going to leave me here at the door, Matt?"

Casey stepped away from the door and gave her a space to get inside. Nancy came in looking around. "It is a beautiful place! Oh I always had the feeling that you would end up pregnant and barefoot in some government apartment, I think I was wrong about the government apartment part."

"It's not mine, it's from ... A friend. My house gets burned down, that's why I'm here..."

"Not for a moment did I think it was yours. You never had good taste, Matt."

Casey swallows dry. He doesn't know what to do now that his mother is here. "Do you accept anything? Coffee?"

"Do you have whiskey? I'm so tired of the prison coffee, but not so desperate to have your coffee yet."

Severide arrived home late that night, he was still racking his head about how to keep Voight away from his family when he opened his apartment door, the lights were off, he came in quietly, maybe Matty was already asleep, he doesn't want to wake him up. Shay is still in the firehouse until tomorrow, so they can sleep until late.

Then the bathroom door opened and a blond middle-aged woman came out drying her hair. "Oh, you must be Matty's friend, I'm Nancy his mother."

Severide didn't have time to answer, Casey appeared at the door carrying bags and covered in sweat. "I think I brought everything you asked for, mom. Sev ...?"

Casey is sitting on the edge of the bed, he is still panting and red. Severide watches the woman dig into the shopping bags he brought, humming happily, he closes the bedroom door.

"Sorry, I'm sorry, Kel, I don't know how she found me here. I'm going to fix this..."

Severide waves him to calm down. "Okay, it's your mom. I just wish I was informed that she was coming, Matty. Hey, it's okay, we can handle her for now."

Casey smiles, a little desperate. "No, we can't. You have no idea who Nancy Casey is..."

"It's okay, like you said, she deserves another chance, remember?"

"I know, but you have no idea how difficult it can be, Kel. With this Voight thing I completely forgot about her release date and ... God, I'm a mess, aren't I?"

Severide kneels in front of Casey and touches his face. "Aren't you happy to see her, Matty?"

"I am, it's just that ... I didn't tell her about being pregnant and, well, she didn't seem to care at all."

"She has been locked up for 20 years, give her time."

"Okay, I'm just too hormonal today. I will be fine."

"Breathe slowly, one thing at a time, Matty. Did you speak to the doctor today?"

"Yes, it's okay. Voight was there too, Kel."

"WHAT?"

"I can't dismiss him for good until the judge decides in my favor, Sev."

"He tried to kill you, Matty! That should be reason enough. He shouldn't be anywhere close to you!"

Casey looks scared at the door, so Severide remembers that they are not alone. "I didn't tell her. In fact, she didn't ask anything about it, so i dind't said anything about Voight or..." He says touching his own belly. Severide regrets having yelled at him. "I don't wanna see him too, Kelly, but things are out of my control now...!"

"What did he want? Did he touch you?"

"No. He just wants to upset me, don't worry." He wipes his eyes. " I'm going to pay for anything my mom use, she's not here for free, I will pay you back, okay?"

"I'm not charging you anything, Matty. We're just going to rest, okay? You shouldn't be carrying shopping bags..."

"I'm not an invalid, Sev. I can handle this."

"I know you can, but it makes me feel a little useless here." He finally smiles. Casey holds his face and kisses him. "What did the doctor say about our little girl?"

"She gained weight, she's doing so well, Kelly. You're taking such good care of us."

The next morning Severide woke up alone in bed, no sign of Casey around. Drowsy, he walked to the bedroom door, heard voices, stopped before they saw him. Casey is cooking something, Nancy sitting in the counter next to him.

"There's nothing left?"

"No, the photos, documents, everything was burned down. I'm sorry, mom."

Nancy shrugs. "Well, at least you saved this one." She points to Casey's belly. "Accidents happen, Matthew."

Casey takes a deep breath. "It's not 'this' it's her, my daughter, mom."

"Oh god! A girl? You have no idea how bad it is to raise girls, Matthew!" Nancy looks around. "Tell me, does that handsome man have anything to do with this, or are you alone with this little thing?"

Time to intervene, Severide goes over to them, kisses Casey on the cheek and puts his hand protectively around his belly. "I don't think we were introduced correctly, I'm Matty's boyfriend. The baby's father, Kelly Severide, ma'am" He says without leaving the omega's side.

Nancy keeps the cynical smile on her lips. "You're not the kind of boy that our little Matt used to bring home, but at least the baby will have some good genes."

"But it's obvious that she will, Matty is the most handsome guy in town." Severide kisses Casey on the forehead. "You're done here, should rest more."

"I'm fine, Kelly ..."

"Just give me a chance to stay here and get to know my mother-in-law better, love." 

Reluctantly, Casey left them alone in the kitchen, Severide watched him until he entered the room and closed the door.

"So, my son-in-law, how did you and my son meet?" Nancy asks.

"A few years ago, at the fire department. He's the best fireman in town, did you know that, ma'am?"

"Yeah, I heard something here and there."

"He is the best." He states categorically.

"Matt used to be the worst student in his class. I used to have doubts about his intellectual capacity." She says quietly. "Don't blame me for being surprised that he has a real job now."

Severide closes his wrists around the pots until his hands gets white. "Is there anything good you can say about Matty, ma'am?"

"Well, I'm his mother, I've known Matt all his life. What I don't understand is how a man like you can get involved with him, it doesn't make sense."

Severide squints to focus better, because obviously, he's missing something here. "What does not make sense?"

"Matt isn't anyone's best choice. He's just a boy with no charm, and for god's sake, he's so fat and ..."

"If you want to stay at my house, you better show a little more consideration for your son, Nancy! It was this 'charmless' boy who got you out of prison!" He says, and he won't say it twice.

_"Listen to me baby_   
_It won't take long_   
_You're the one I want_   
_We're here in a moment_   
_Even if the sun turns black and the sky falls down"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm backkkk!!! so sorry for delay. I hope you all fine. Sorry for all mistakes, i update from my phone, so any mistake i will fix later 😍


	29. Follow the light...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It started out as a feeling  
Which then grew into a hope  
Which then turned into a quiet thought  
Which then turned into a quiet word  
And then that word grew louder and louder  
'Til it was a battle cry"

Casey reviewed his mother's parole topics, there were some rules to follow. Nancy seemed more concerned with maintaining her makeup than reading those documents.

" What did you say?" Casey asked, distracted.

"I asked about your daughter's name, Matthew. What will my granddaughter's name be?"

"Anything but Lucy, I think." Casey takes a deep breath. "Since you arrived, this is the first question you ask about my daughter, mom. Is that all you want to know about her?"

"Kids are all the same, Matt, wait until she is born and become ungrateful, then we'll talk. Don't blame me for not looking excited, but I never imagined you were really like that!"

"Like this?"

"You shouldn't get pregnant, this is totally unexpected from you, Matthew."

"And why? I'm an omega, it happens ..."

"Well, someone who can't shelter his own mother, shouldn't have children! How did that happen, do you have heats now?"

"This is ... I'm not going to talk to you about it, mom." He back to the documents.

"You used to have anormal heats, remember?"

"Things change. Have you read this here, mom?"

"You and Severide ...? Is that serious, Matthew?"

Casey shrugs, embarrassed. "I think so, we're good."

"So was that planned or ...?"

Casey hates hearing his mother call his daughter 'that' again, but he says nothing. "Not exactly, but we're fine now."

"You don't smell like him, aren't you and Severide mated yet?"

"Not yet." He's trying to avoid this issue.

"What are you waiting for?"

"The right time has not yet happened." He rubs his back, a sharp pain threatens to happen.

"At least you have an alpha willing to take the respondability, it's more than I expected from you, Matt."

He turns to look his mother in the eye. "And what exactly did you expect from me, mom?"

"Well, you always liked to defy the rules and, look at you now, Matthew, homeless and pregnant! What guarantees do you have that this alpha will stay with you after this girl is born?" Nancy remains looking at Casey's phone on the table. "Didn't Christy call?"

"No. I haven't seen her in a while." He don't look at her now.

"Well, I can't blame her. You were always kind of hard to deal with, Matt."

Casey gives up, he slides his hand over his belly, where his daughter is moving slowly. "It says here that you should be home at 9:00 at night and never leave without telling to your parole officer."

Nancy looks around. "There are so many things I want to do now that I'm finally out here. Don't look me that way, I am an adult, Matt! I know how to take care of myself perfectly."

"This is serious, mom. You must keep a permanent address and ... We gonna find you a place."

"I liked it here, I can stay right here with you." 

"No, this is not my home, mom, besides, Severide already has a friend living here, Shay, she's his best friend and..."

"Matthew, I'm your mother, are you really going to leave me on the streets?"

"I'm not going, but I can't rent a house right now, I don't have any money and, my daughter will be born in a little while, so we can find another house. it's temporary, until I get back to work. "

"But this is your alpha's house, is it? I don't see why we can't stay here, Matthew!"

"It's not that simple, we still haven't decided what to do after the baby is born and, I can't put more problems on Sev, he's already doing a lot for me, mom."

"Well, he got you pregnant, nothing more fair!" She retaliates childishly.

"We are going to find a place and ... mom!" Nancy left him talking to himself.

_"Now we're back to the beginning_   
_It's just a feeling and no one knows yet_   
_But, just because they can't feel it too_   
_Doesn't mean that you have to forget_   
_Let your memories grow stronger and stronger_   
_'Til they're before your eyes"_

Casey's body shuddered and a pleasurable moan escaped his lips, he spread his legs further and bent his knees to allow more space for Severide's head to work between it.

Severide smiles when he moan, so he sinks his tongue further into Casey's slit licking and sucking harder. The omega is wet, running down the perineum to the middle of his ass, Severide loves it.

Casey bites his lip trying to contain another moan, his hands tighten the sheet as Severide swallows his dick in one go.

"Hmmm Kelly ..." He's on the verge of an orgasm.

"Do you like this, Matty?" Severide teases him, a thin line of Casey's cum running down his lips to his chin as he kisses the tip of his cock gently, delaying the omega's orgasm. "I love your taste ..." Severide kneels and crawls beside him, Casey groans, frustrated by his interrupted orgasm.

"What are you doing?" He's not happy. Severide just laughs, he slides his hand over Casey's shirt and unbuttons the buttons one by one, Casey looks at him, his lips are wet with pre cum. "Kelly?" It was a fucking day with his mom, he just wants some relief and Severide is torturing him now.

Severide finishes opening his shirt and slides his hand under Casey's bra until he finds the swollen nipple there.

"I was thinking, last time we did it, you seemed happy to rub your ass against me." He whispers very close to Casey's ear, making him shiver.

"Hmm ..." Casey tries to touch himself and continue where Severide left off, but Severide doesn't allow it, he takes the omega's hands. "Wait, you'll like it." He pulls the bra up and leaves Casey's nipple exposed. "I'm going to suck you in the meantime, Matty."

Severide takes the nipple to his mouth, Casey sighs at the sensation, he is much more sensitive now. Without wasting time, Severide puts his hand on Casey's vagina and slides his fingers inside again, he keeps his eyes open, watching closely for his omega's reaction.

"You have to tell me if it hurts, Casey, okay?" He whispers again with the Casy's nipple still between his lips.

"Hummm?" Casey asks confused, he is limp and eager to come, been impatient with Severide's provocation, since the alpha arrived and dragged him into the room promising a massage and ended up giving him an unbelievable blowjob, only to stop now and leave him frustrated that way.

Severide uses his soaked finger and starts to feel Casey's ass, sliding and spreading lubricant around him, Casey pants in surprise, but does not stop him.

"I need to know if it hurts, Matty."

Then a finger is inside his ass, Casey bends the body but doesn't back down, the sensation is new and strange, but it's not bad. Severide steps forward slowly, probing gently before sticking the rest of his finger.

"Shhh, it's okay, I won't hurt you." He leaves the nipple and rests his face on the curve of Casey's neck, kissing his cheek gently. "It's so tight, Matty. The way I imagined it."

Casey's cock reacts and collides against his belly, Severide is watching everything, going slowly, he puts another finger and moves slowly, Casey closes his eyes and whimpers against his face.

"I always wanted to do this, Matty..."

Casey just agrees and tries to turn on his side, lifting his ass even more, he's introducing himself, Severide realizes, he moves his fingers faster, Casey is on his side, clutching his belly and moaning softly.

"Heavens Matty! I need to put my dick in you!" He groans feeling Casey's insides squeeze him. "Are you going to let me fuck your ass, Matty? Are you going to be a good omega for me?"

Casey explodes in an intense untouched orgasm, he whimpers and in the next moment his belly and thighs are wet and messy, he's breathing quickly and smiling.

Severide slowly withdraws his fingers looking for blood, there is none. He hugs Casey and keeps him in his arms until his breathing returns to normal.

"That was incredible, Matty."

Casey smiles, he is flushed now. "I completely forgot that we are no longer alone, Sev."

"It's okay, you behaved well." Severide kisses his face. "Did you like it?"

"I am literally lying in a pool of fluids here."

"That's good! You smell great when you're satisfied." He gets up. "I'll get you a towel for you to clean up."

Severide comes back from the bathroom and lies down next to Casey on the bed, the omega is leaning on a pile of pillows, few positions are comfortable at this time of pregnancy.

"Sleeping?" He asks gently, Casey keeps his hand covering his eyes.

"No, just ... I'm tired and she keeps kicking me over and over." He says without actually complaining, a calm, satisfied smile gracing his lips.

Severide approaches him and touches his belly. "Maybe she just wants a little attention." He sits on the edge of the bed between Casey's legs and starts to clean him.

"Please don't start ruining her, Kelly!"

"That's what parents are for." He finishes and throws the towel on the floor.

"I need a shower." Casey grumbles but doesn't get up.

"I like the way you smell now, Matty. It smells like safe house."

"What about you, Kelly? You dind't even let me touch you..." Casey leans over and tries to touch Severide, the alpha holds his hands.

"I'm fine, believe me, that was enough, Matty."

Suddenly the front door slams, they get scared, Casey looks at the clock, it's almost 11 pm. 

"Shay?" Casey asks.

"No, she is on double shift." Severide gets up and goes to check, he comes back shortly after, he doesn't look happy. "It was your mom."

"Yes, we had an argument this afternoon, I thought she was already back." He rubs his head irritably.

"Did you talk to her about the parole conditions, right?"

"Yes, but she didn't pay much attention to me." He keeps a hand covering his eyes. "She continues to list my defects and ..." He sighs. "Nothing has changed, Kel, she says what she thinks of me and I feel like I've 13 again."

"Has she always been like this with you, Matty?"

"As long as I can remember, yes. When I found out I was pregnant, I was afraid I wouldn't be able to love my daughter, Sev. I thought that ... That maybe, I wouldn't even know how to feel about her."

Severide slides his hand over Casey's belly bump. "You are not like her, Matty. Don't think for a second like that."

Casey takes his hand out of his eyes, and looks at the ceiling for a while.

"She was always difficult but, we spent so little time together that ... I can't remember a time when she acted like a mother to me. She hasn't hugged me yet, Kel. Almost twenty years apart and she didn't even hug me." He wipes his eyes with his fingertips. "She doesn't even care about my daughter. I feel like I don't know anything about her either, because a mother shouldn't be like that, but then, I blame myself for not being the alpha son she and my father wanted... I'm a terrible son, aren't I?"

"Who told you that? Your narcissistic mom? You spent the last few years saving money to get her out of prison. If your house hadn't been set on fire, she would have been there with you. Where does that make you a bad son, Matty?"

Casey sits with his back to Severide. "I was never her favorite. No matter how hard I tried, it could always have better if Christy did it."

"I always wondered who screwed your head, I think I know the answer now. She was not a good mother before, and she is not being now, you have nothing to blame yourself for."

"No, it's not her fault. I should have been better off if ..." He sighs, rubbing his belly again. "She's moving again, I think someone's looking for attention here."

Severide wraps his arms around Casey, resting his chin on his shoulder.

"I didn't tell her about this situation, Sev."

Severide makes a face. "What a situation?"

"About Voight ..."

"There is nothing to say, Matty. She will make you feel worse, you don't need it now."

"I know." He turns his neck to look at Severide. "Do you really want to do this to me, Kelly? I mean, to help me raise my daughter."

"I know what you mean but, why are we having this conversation again, Matty?"

"Is nothing." He gets up. "But if Voight gets her custody, things can gets complicated."

"He won't. We're going to take care of her and ..." Severide looks at him. "She said that, didn't she? Did your mother say that? She said I'm leaving you, Matty?"

"No, no ..." He gets up. "I'll..."

"Casey ..."

Casey doesn't respond.

_"Just because everything's changing_   
_Doesn't mean it's never been this way before_   
_All you can do is try to know who your friends are_   
_As you head off to the war_   
_Pick a star on the dark horizon_   
_And follow the light"_


	30. An unexpected friend...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Send your dreams  
Where nobody hides...

Casey sat up slowly, his left hand supporting his belly, he is tired. Shay approaches him. "Hey, we're not done here yet, Matt!" She pretends seriousness, his hands full of bags. "We haven't bought diapers yet and ... Is something wrong?"

"No." He wipes his eyes. "Hormones. Can we do this another day, Shay?"

"Well, we don't have much time before she is born, that should have been done already." Shay sits next to him in the mall's hall. "What's going on between you and Kelly, Matt? Does it have anything to do with your mom being there?"

"I don't know. We're fine, it's just ... Things got complicated, Severide doesn't deserve to be dragged into this mess, it's not fair, Shay ..."

"As far as I know, he crawled up to you himself, so don't worry about him. Just focus on bringing this girl into the world, the rest will get settled in the end, Matt."

Casey rests his head on the blonde's shoulder.

"I should have some control over my life, right?"

"When you find out how to do this, tell me. Come on, let's go shopping!"

"I didn't agree with that."

"Oh Matt, stop doing drama! Come on, let's go! Speaking of which, you already have a birth partner? I can be there if you want ..."

"I intend to maintain what remains of my dignity, Shay."

"There is no dignity in childbirth, Matt!"

The silence between him and Severide dragged on for the next night and Casey stayed in the kitchen watching his mother on the phone talking like an excited teenager with her new boyfriend.

Severide came home late and went straight to the shower, he was under the water for a few minutes, when he left rolled out on a towel, he found Casey standing in the room.

"We need to talk, Sev ..."

"Yes, we do." He says sitting on the bed and waiting for Casey to do the same.

Casey sits down, takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I'm being an idiot here."

"No, you're not. I shouldn't have talked to you like that, Matty. I'm sorry." He reaches out and pulls Casey closer to him. "Never doubt that I really want to do this to you, I am here, am I not?"

They are still embraced when Shay knocks on the door. "Sorry, Matt, your mom made us dinner and ... It smells great!"

Severide smiles. "It's safe?"

"My mom? Never."

Severide gets up and helps him to his feet. "I don't want to fight, Matty. This is our moment, I don't want to screw this up."

"Neither do I, Sev. I love you ..." Casey says finally, blue eyes shining in the darkness of the bedroom, Severide steps back and smiles, but says nothing back.

Then Casey looks away and hugs Severide like he's his last chance to survive. "Okay, you don't have to tell me anything. It's okay, Sev."

Dinner continued in an awkward silence, Shay watching his two idiot friends, Casey with his head down and fiddling with his plate several times, Severide strangely disturbed and Nancy talking repeatedly in an exaggerated and inconvenient way.

"Aren't you going to eat, Matt? I made the shrimp especially for you." Nancy complains, visibly disappointed.

Casey pushes the shrimp to the side of the plate. "I don't ... sorry, I don't like this."

"How not? It has always been your favorite food!"

Casey feels his mouth fill with saliva, he tries to keep the urge to vomit under control. "No, it's not."

"Matt's problem is that he thinks I don't remember things, I remember dear, I remember all the details perfectly."

Casey looks up at her, there are sparks in his eyes.

"Mom..."

"What? We're family here, don't you? You know what? I'm tired of being the only one with a past here." She says trying to be dramatically offended.

Shay intervenes. "It's okay, Mrs. Casey, dinner is great."

"This is Christie's favorite food, you would know if you were there for us, mom." He says.

The heavy weather sets in and Nancy is ready to make it worse.

"You were always a ungrateful bastard, Matthew!"

"Hey, hey!" Severide says this time. "No need this!" He says lower trying to keep things easier.

Casey feels the air filling his lungs in an unnatural way, he breathes quickly trying not to cry. Suddenly, Nancy takes the plate away from herself and starts to cry, making everyone even more uncomfortable around.

"I would be there if I could! You blame me for everything, Matt, but don't tell the others why I couldn't be there!"

Casey stands up against the table, he will not stay to hear this. Nancy gets up and walks over to him, taking him by the arm.

"Say Matt! Tell your friends why I had to do what i've done!"

Casey is silent, Severide appears and moves Nancy away from him, supporting Casey in his arms.

"It's okay, Nancy, we're done here." He tries to take Casey away from her, but Nancy insists and pulls him out again.

"Tell them what your father done to you, Matthew!"

Silence reigns again, only Casey's rapid breathing can be heard across the room, he turns to look Severide in the eye before the world become black around him and the floor finds his body.

Alone in the hospital, he sits on the bed slowly, his feet touch the cold floor, he is wearing a hospital gown and nothing else. Confused, he leaves the room and walks to the nursing station, finds no one. Then he returns to the room and decides to wait there. For a moment he can only imagine that Severide must have finally given up on him, he shakes his head, not even want imagine the amount of damage his mother may have done.

A few minutes pass, he feels his stomach roar, he is hungry. The memory of dinner makes him want to cry again, but he doesn't. Deciding to find something to eat, he leaves the room again, crosses the hall and finds one of these food machines in the hall. He has no coins, nothing.

"Hungry?"

He feels his body react, ready to run away, but he can't, so he turns around and finds Hank Voight standing behind him.

"What you want?" He looks around for a way out. Voight pushes him from the front of the machine and inserts a coin there. "What will it be? It's not Pepsi, I hope."

Casey moves his head from side to side, he starts to go back to the room.

"Wait, boy." Voight says. "It is not polite to go out like that."

He ignores it and returns to his bedroom, Voight comes right behind him with something in his hands. Casey closes the bedroom door when he enters, but Voight comes in.

"I'm not here for you, don't feel so special, Lieutenant!"

Casey looks for his clothes, he is not going to stay here and talk to Voight. "What are you doing here, Voight?" Casey is not willing to listen to mean comments about his body or whatever Voight wants to do, but it doesn't happens, suddenly he looks at the alpha and what he sees on his face makes him stop, Voight is visibly tired and defeated, maybe even fragile.

Voight looks for a chair to sit on, leaving Casey unresponsive. "Justin got in trouble in prison." He says bluntly. "He's in surgery now."

Casey doesn't know what to say, he just listens.

"From what I heard he was involved with drugs in there and ..." He rubs his eyes. "I should have known that, shouldn't I? But I was too busy trying to find someone to blame, that I didn't even see what was going on."

Anyone who didn't know the whole story would think that Voight was an old friend talking to Casey.

"I was already here when I heard that you passed out, but I didn't want any problems with your fireman."

Casey looks around, he doesn't know where Severide is now, Voight must have seen that.

"You were out for an entire night, he had to leave, a building collapsed in the center of the city, I heard on the radio. He didn't left you here, Lieutenant, don't worry."

"I am not..."

"What happened this time?"

"This is not your business, Voight."

"Oh, my lawyer can say the opposite, but that's okay, just tell me whether I should intervene or not."

"To intervene?" Casey is confused, Voight's offering him protection?

"I have my means to get information, I know that your mom is in town and, well she is not here looking after you, and whatever happened, I assume it has to do with her."

"It is none of your business yet."

Voight gets up and approaches Casey, handing him the package of snacks he took from the machine. "Eat, I'll be back there, I'll be at the hospital if you need anything, Casey."

And so suddenly was he gone, leaving Casey without knowing what to say about it.

A nurse came and went, the hours passed and Severide still hasn't returned, so he gets up and walks down the same corridor where he found Voight for the first time.

Vight is sitting in the hall, arms crossed over the chest, looking lost, there is no one else there with him, so Casey comes over and sits next to him facing the door just as he is doing.

"How's he doing?"

Voight sighs, he is exhausted. "Still there."

Casey stands there beside him waiting for news.

Voight remained silent most of the time, just breathing harder from time to time. Casey rubs the side of his belly where the daughter is moving.

"I'm sorry ..." He mutters uncertainly. "This should not happen."

Voight just nods.

"Did you tell him about my daughter?"

"We didn't get that far."

"Are you going to tell? I mean, when he leaves, are you going to tell him?"

"I didn't think of that."

"He'll be fine, Hank ..." Casey says, because he is a hopeful idiot, even when everything says otherwise. "Sooner or later he'll know about her, I don't care if you tell him when he wakes up."

"And what am I supposed to say, Lieutenant? That I found a drunk omega and bring him home? To his mother's house? And now he's in prison because that same omega testified against him?"

Casey leans over his body, feeling stupid for coming here.

"Do as you please, Voight. You can spend the rest of your life blaming me, I don't care." He gets up. "If it lets you sleep at night. Just, go ahead, I don't even know why I asked that."

"I thought about talking, but ... Justin is all I have, Casey." He rubs his head over and over. "Does she have a name?"

"I thought you didn't care about that." He looks down the hall, it's almost empty now.

"I don't ... I care! I thought that was already quite clear."

"Your lawyer told me that, but that doesn't mean you really like my daughter, you're just trying to get your revenge taking her away from me."

"Maybe that was it, but, I know how much it hurts when they take a child from you, Casey."

"He'll be fine." He says without knowing what else to say.

"And he'll be back in prison after that." Voight responds. "I can't protect him there."

Casey knows this feeling, he is just weeks away from giving birth, already helpless with the feeling that he will not be able to protect his daughter in the same way that he can protect now she's inside his belly. He uses his hands on the chair as a support to get up, Voight holds him.

"Stay, I don't want to be here alone ..."

Casey remains, he is uncomfortable in the chair, but he remains anyway.

"Did you eat, Lieutenant?"

Casey just nods, no reason to lie here, so Voight gets up and extends his hand to him.

"There's a diner over there, come on. I can't let you starve here."

Casey does not accept the help offered, he gets up alone.

"I'm not going anywhere in a hospital gown, Voight."

Voight looks around. "Go back to your room then, I'll get you something to eat."

Casey returns to the room, he has no idea what's going on, but then Severide is there waiting for him, a relief mixed with fear invading his body, he doesn't know what to think or say now.

Severide is still in uniform and covered with soot, he looks scared and very worried.

"Hey, I was looking for you." He squeezes Casey in his arms. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, Sev. What happen?" He examines Severide from top to bottom for injuries.

"A bad fire call, I ... Hmm, I ran over here as soon as we finished. Did they say what happened? Was it your blood pressure again?"

"No, it was just ... Sorry, did I scare you, Sev? I'm fine."

"I love you!" Severide says at once, as if it were something he really needed to say.

"What?"

"I didn't say before because I'm an idiot and, I didn't know how or how much I really ... I love you, Casey."

Casey smiles, with joy, relief, and surprise. "I know, Kelly, I know ..."

He hugs Severide relieved by the alpha not to mention the subject of dinner, he doesn't want to talk about it.

Shortly afterwards, while Severide is going to use the bathroom, a nurse comes to bring him a tray with a meal, not a hospital meal for sure, so he remembers Voight saying he was going to buy him food, and by the nurse's frightened look, he can imagine that Voight threatened her.

  
Under the glass of milk is a handwritten note saying "Tell me her name, so I can tell him when he wakes up."


	31. A painful goodbye...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The shingles man they're shaking  
The back door's burning through"

_This house, she's holding secrets_   
_I got my change behind the bed_   
_In a coffee can I throw my nickels in_   
_Just in case I have to leave_

Casey remained in the kitchen, sitting at the table in the dark, hands supporting his chin. His back hurt, but he didn't leave until he did what should be done. Shortly after 11 pm the door opened and Nancy entered silently.

Startled to see Casey in the kitchen, she tries to cover up the inconvenience.

"Casey? Are you okay?"

"We need to talk, Mom."

"Oh dear if it's because of the hour again ..."

"It has nothing to do with the hour. Sit down here, mom." 

Nancy sits across from him. "What happened?"

"My pregnancy has been at high risk since the beginning, I almost lost my daughter twice and nothing has been easy for us. We have come this far and I really need to protect her."

Nancy shrugs, she is confused about this conversation.

"I will protect my little girl from anyone who is a threat, that includes you, mom."

"Matt!"

"I want you out of this house until tomorrow. I don't care where you go, just go."

Casey says calmly, he's done with it. But then a sigh echoes through the kitchen, Nancy is crying.

"I did it for you ..." She sighs, making Casey stop and look at her. "What I've done to your father, it was for you, Matt ..."

"No!" He refuses to hear that. "Don't blame me for that."

"He was going to kill you, Matt!" She says louder. "He was going to kill you if I didn't do something!"

Casey rubs his face, he is irritated now.

"I had to kill him because of you!"

"That was your decision, not mine!"

"How can you say that?" She gets up, the cry giving way to anger. "He raped you!"

"You knew it all along!" He says breathlessly. "You knew the shit he was and you stayed with him until it all happened!"

"Are you abandoning me, Matthew? After all I've been through because of you?"

"No, mom. I'm doing what's best for my daughter and me! I don't owe you anything!"

"You are an ungrateful bitch, Matt! I should have got rid of you when you were born! You deformed monster!"

Nancy advances over him trying to hit his face, Casey holds his hands, yet she scratches his cheek.

Casey does not fight back, he will not join her game so he takes a deep breath trying to calm down. "You wanted to be free, you are, now I am too, mom. You have until tomorrow to leave." He leaves her in the kitchen and leaves.

He locks himself in the room, only then does he burst into tears.

Severide arrives in the morning, he meet Nancy in the hall, she is leaving, but they don't speak to each other.

Casey is still in bed when he enters the room, Severide joins him in a silent hug.

"I was 12 when I went into heat, Sev ... I didn't know anything about it." Casey rubs his face against the pillow wiping tears away, Severide tightens his arms around him even more. "After what my father did to me, I never had a regular heat again, it was just too painful, too unbearable ..." He is sobbing, Severide turns him over and kisses his face.

"We don't need to talk about it, Matty. It's okay, it wasn't your fault."

"My father raped me, Kelly, my own father did this to me ..."

Severide slides his fingers down Casey's injured cheek.

"It wasn't your fault. It wasn't!" He puts his face in the curve of Casey's neck, is scenting the room trying to calm him down. "Shhhh, it's okay, my love. You did great."

_"And the photographs know I'm a liar_   
_They just laugh as I burn her down"_

Casey listened carefully when Antonio called to inform him about Justin. Without waiting too long, the omega got dressed and left.

Voight's tired face greets him in that same hall, the alpha still wearing the same clothes as when Casey found him near the food machine. 

"Hank..." He calls, the alpha gets up and walks over to him.

"He ... My son, he ..." He is crying and Casey doesn't know what to do but hug him and try to comfort him.

"I'm so sorry." He murmurs with his lips against Voight's gray hair. "I'm sorry, Hank..."

Voight's limp arms remain around Casey for a moment, Casey rubbing his back until Voight calms down. 

Casey remains there, next to him, trying to comfort him. Comforting the man who almost destroyed his life, he cannot even explain why, but he remains with Voight.

Some members of Voight's team arrived, but the alpha still with Casey acting like they were old friends. A doctor authorizes Voight to see his son, he doesn't use the word 'goodbye', but that's what it is, a chance to a father to say goodbye to the son.

Casey, who was sitting next to Voight, felt the alpha hold his hand.

"Can you do this to me, Lieutenant?" He asks in a whisper.

Casey enters the room just behind Voight, he closes the door behind him and is silent while Voight goes to the bed where his son is.  
He leans over his son's body and cries, whispering something, Casey feels bad, he shouldn't be here now, they aren't friends, nothing to each other, and yet he came here and allowed Voight to hold his hand.

"You were a good son, you were ..." He whispers to his son.

Casey remains silent, red eyes watching the scene.

"Forgive me, I should have taken care of you." He kisses Justin's forehead, Casey approaches, he has nothing to say, he just looks at Voight's son's bandaged pale face.

"Justin, this is Lieutenant Casey." Voight says without looking away from his son. "You know who he is, don't you? What you don't know is that I tried to kill him ... I tried and tried, I was angry, but he's not the one to blame. I should have been a better father , not doing things the way I did. I should have told you before, but this is your sister." He reaches out and touches Casey's belly. "You used to say you wanted a brother, remember? You used to drive me crazy and ... I'm going to miss it, son."

A strong desire to throw up takes over Casey, he needs to get out of here, so he leaves the room as soon as possible.

He coughs incessantly leaning against the toilet, the bitter bile coming down his lips. A light knock on the door, he pulls himself together and opens the door, Voight is leaning against the frame, he holds out a handkerchief for Casey to clean up, Casey accepts.

"Forgive me ... Shit! I'm sorry ..."

"How are you?"

"I'm fine, Hank, it was just ... How are you?"

"Do you need to see a doctor or something?" Voight asks looking at him.

"No, it's okay..."

"Do you need a ride back home, Casey?"

"No, I don't have to. I can stay if you need me, I ..."

"You don't have to stay, Lieutenant." Voight says in a low voice. "He's dead, there is nothing more to do here."

Casey looks away from the floor. "I'm sorry, Hank ..." Voight turns to him again. "What you going do?"

Voight clears his throat. "Do you really want to know? I will bury my son, Lieutenant."

Casey holds his belly, something tells him that Voight's calm is a bad sign. 

Voight smiles, a tired and embarrassed laugh. "I can see the guilt eating you from here, Lieutenant. Stop it, I won't do anything to hurt you. We've had enough of that. Go home, take care of your daughter, make sure she have a good life, Casey."

_"The shingles, man, they're shaking_   
_The back door's burning through_   
_This old house, she's quite the keeper_   
_Quite the keeper of you_

_I will go if you ask me to_   
_I will stay if you dare_   
_And if I go, I'm goin' crazy_   
_Let my darlin' take me there"_


	32. Jamie...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don't know what I'm supposed to do
> 
> haunted by the ghost of you
> 
> Take me back to the night we met"

_"I am not the only traveler_

_who has not repaid his debt_

_I've been searching for a trail to follow again_

_Take me back to the night we met"_

Casey entered the church discreetly, there are few people there, he looked for a place in the back, spotted Antonio and went to him.

"Hi ..." He whispered as he sat down beside the detective.

Antonio nodded slowly keeping his eyes on the altar where Justin's coffin is, beside him a photo of the boy. Casey looks around, he finds no sign of Voight there.

"He did not come." Antonio says as if he knows what is going on in Casey's head. "He's out of control, Matt."

Casey sighs, he can't even imagine the pain Voight is feeling right now, a strange feeling of empathy surrounds him.

He puts his hand on his belly, he's been through Braxton Hicks since the night before. It is not painful, but it is quite uncomfortable.

Antonio takes something out of his jacket pocket and hands it to him.

"What is it?"

"He left it on my desk this morning. He gave up on your daughter custody, Casey. No more lawsuits, she's just yours now."

Casey feels his eyes sting, he looks at the papers several times before finally getting up and leaving.

Casey has no good memories from this place, but he's doesn't want to stick those memories, so he takes a deep breath and knocks on Hank Voight's door. No answer, he knocks again a little harder this time. Voight's car is parked on the sidewalk, but he doesn't answer.

"Voight!" He calls, pushing the door open, he steps inside. The house is dark, there's broken glass strewn across the floor. A rotting smell makes Casey step back a little, but he doesn't leave. He wasn't going to leave Voight alone right now.

“I should known you'd be here sooner or later.” Voight said calmly, his voice comes from the room, the alpha is hidden in the shadows. “Why are you here, omega?"

Casey opens his hands, he doesn't know what he's doing here either. "Are you okay, Hank?" He standing nervously at the room, the bad smell comes from Voight, the smell of pain and death. “I just wanted to see how you were doing...Voight”

It takes Voight a few moments to respond. “How do you think I'm doing, Lieutenant?" He inquires suspiciously.

Casey slowly approaches where Voight is sitting, he still can't see the alpha's face hidden in the darkness. “I can't even imagine what you're feeling right now..." He sits down on the couch in front of the alpha. "I'm here if you need to, Hank." The silence in the room was peaceful, even in the midst of all the pain emanating from Voight, Casey is starting to feel nauseous because of the smell around him, but he resists.

"And why exactly, are you here, Casey?" Voight tries to keep the harshness in his voice, but he fails and Casey can hear him sobbing."Do you really think I need to be comforted by a pregnant omega, Lieutenant?"

"No, I don't think so. But I'm here and ...I believe no one deserves to go through this alone, friends are for that, Hank."

"And since when are we friends?" 

Casey narrows his eyes to see Voight in the dark. "It doesn't matter, I'm here and I don't care what we are now, Do you need anything?" He answers determinedly.

“Don't you ever think this makes everything good between us.” He hears Voight sigh, a glass of drink with only ice in his hands, the whiskey bottle is broken on the floor. "He was a good boy, Lieutenant. He was the most intelligent child I have ever seen." He places the drink glass beside his body. "He was the best son I could ever wish."

Casey listens carefully, his hand on the side of his belly. Then Voight leans forward and Casey can see his face disfigured and covered in blood.

"I had some problems." Voight says as if this is no big deal. "I couldn't let them get away with that." His face was a mask of pain, something die inside him, his soul had just broken and shattered into a million small pieces.

Casey runs a hand over his head. "What did you do, Hank?" He ask, concern covering his face, his eyes showing some fear to face the naked truth.

"They took my son and killed him! What am I supposed to do about it?" He screams in response, Casey is not scared, he remains seated watching Voight. "What the hell I supposed to do, Lieutenant?" Anger dripping from his words.

"I don't know." Casey answers, and he doesn't really know what he would do if he were his daughter there. "I don't know, Hank." He know he should probably to leave, but he couldn't force himself to move. 

"I made some bad decisions over the course of my life, Casey, which include the way I treated my son. He needed me and I wasn't there." He lets out. "I had my own way of handling things ... I made a mistake and now my son has been taken from me."

Voight let out a deep breath he didn't know he had been holding.

"I tried to take everything you had from you and here I am, gotta nothing left." Voight says.

Casey doesn't want to hear Voight's confession, he fears he knows too much about it, even so, he has always been a good listener and that's all he can do for Voight now.

"I did some things last night, very bad things and, you can hear about me soon." He takes another sip of his drink. "Not that they have anything against me, but I did what I was supposed to do. I did what a father should do."

"Someone gotta hurt, Hank?" He hears himself asking with a tad surprised.

Voight stifles an exhausted smile. "Do you really want to know, Lieutenant?" He says looking into Casey’s eyes, then he took another sip of whiskey. 

Casey could feel his stomach turn at the thought, any answer he could have found died on his lips. 

"I did what I supposed to have done." Voight says.

Another false contraction and Casey rubs his belly instinctively, Voight watches him closely.

"You weren't the only one who made mistakes in life, Hank. I dind't came here to judge you. Antonio handed me the papers you left on his desk. I don't even know what to say..." He said still cradling his belly. 

"Do you think I did this for you?" Voight is trying to maintain his frown again. "Do you really think I gave up on everything because of you, Lieutenant?" He pretends contempt, but he is so broken that fails, Casey doesn't feel attacked or offended, he could clearly hear Voight's broken sobs.

"No, but I appreciate it anyway, Hank. I can't keep fighting with you. I don't want her to go through this just because we're stupid. She deserves more than to see the two of us fighting and hurting each other like that."

"I know something happened that night ... I know you are not a bitch, Lieutenant. In fact, I heard a lot of good things about you." Voight points to the couch where Casey is sitting. "I never took your scent from that couch because I was dependent on it." Voight confesses unnoticing, "You were the only person I've been with since my wife left, Lieutenant, and I hated you the same way I loved you that's why I attacked you and acted like an animal around you. I wanted to kill you as soon as you told me you got pregnant that night, because I couldn't have another child. Not with you, not with anyone else, but then I came home and slept on that couch ever since, just your fucking perfume makes me sleep."

Casey just nods. "Before that night, I hadn't had sex in over a year, Hank. I didn't think it would be that easy to get pregnant. I hope I have time to be able to decide what to say her about all that happened that night. For now, I just want her to come safe."

"She wasn't an mistake...I said that, but, I was wrong. So wrong! I should never have said ... " And then, Voight is about to cry, Casey just watches him, this is the closest he will get to a 'I'm sorry' request from Voight, so he is satisfied with that, has never had any illusions as to what he deserves from others.

"I'm sorry for your house..." Voight said with a tinge of sadness that he hoped wouldn't be noticed.

"Water under the bridge." Casey answers. "But I always knew it was you who set my place on fire." Casey has no trace of anger in his voice. Sitting there in that dark room, Voight no longer seemed like a threat, Casey is not afraid, he is feeling sorry for the old and damaged alpha that Voight became.

"I knew you weren't there." He confesses, now nothing else matters. "I checked the place, I knew it was empty when the fire started."

Casey's eyes huge with horror. He sighed as he thought of what to say next. "You know this doesn't change anything?”

“Yeah I know." Voight gets up, walks into the kitchen leaving Casey silent in the living room. Then he comes back with another glass of whiskey in his hands and sits in the shadows again. "You can throw me out and never speak to me again as long as I live, Lieutenant. I won't insist on anything...I don't want anything from you, not anymore."

"I'm not going to pretend that nothing happened, or that everything is fine between us and, how relieved I am that you give up taking her away from me, but, I'm sorry, Hank, for the way it all happened, for Justin. I'm really sorry." Casey sighs. "She's genetically yours, but Severide will be her father, the only one she will know for real."

Voight looks up when he hears the fireman's name. Casey notices, but he won't hide anything.

"He's been her father since the first momment, I'm not going to stop you from meeting her if you wanna do that, if you keep your promisse, we can work on that, we can find a way."

"Go home, Lieutenant, stay with your fireman, have your baby, you have my word that nothing else will happen to you." He drinks the rest of the whiskey and leaves the glass on the table next to the sofa, making a high-pitched noise. "I don't want to be anyone's father anymore." he mumbled the last words, looking down in shame. "I wish you didn't see me like that, Lieutenant, Just go now."

Casey nods carefully. "It's Matt, my name ... That's how my friends call me, Voight. Don't forget that you are human, Hank, you don't have to go through this alone."

"Are you offering me your friendship, Lieutenant?"

“I told you we can find a way to fix it, that's my way to start, Hank."

"That altruism of yours is still going to kill you, Lieutenant." Voight scoffs, but there is no humor in his voice. “Part of me wants you here in my room, but the other part of me can't even look at you right now. Guess which one won?"

Casey gets up and walks to the door, a strange feeling of pity overtaking him, this is so awkward. "I haven't chosen her name yet, Voight, but I like Jamie a lot." He says looking to the alpha. "Jamie Casey." He's still not sure if Severide will include his last name on the baby's name, he just hopes so.

Voight sighs, taking the glass again. "It's a beautiful name, Lieutenant."

He walked away leaving Voight sat in the shadows.

_"And then I can tell myself_

_what the hell I'm supposed to do_

_And then I can tell myself_

_Not to ride along with you"_

He parks in front of the fire station, he hasn't been here for months, he didn't think he would come until his daughter was born, but here he is, trembling, holding the papers that Antonio handed him and entering the barracks under the curious eyes of the other firefighters. 

He doesn't care about the looks or comments, he doesn't care for them. Keeping his head up, he goes to look for Severide.

Severide is in his office filling out papers when Casey arrives, the omega doesn't say anything, just approaches him, Severide gets up quick, worried, just to find Casey standing nervously at the door.

"Casey?" Casey doesn't answer, just throws himself in the fireman's arms and then starts to cry. "What happened, Matty?"

"He gave up, Sev. Voight gave up fighting for custody of our daughter, she's just ours, Kelly!"

Severide listened carefully to Casey explaining Voight's decision and, he doesn't know what to say.

"What if he changes his mind, Matty?"

"It says here that he's giving up any right to it, Kelly."

"And why is he doing this now?"

Casey shrugs. "I don't know. This thing with Justin may have influenced it, I don't know." He takes a deep breath. "He wasn't at the funeral."

"No?"

"I was there at his house, Sev ..." He reveals, waiting a second until Severide starts screaming.

"Where?"

"At Voight's, but it's okay, Sev, he didn't even touch me and ..."

"What the fuck did you do there, Matt?” Severide starts to scream.

"I don't know, Antonio gave me these papers, I just wanted to see him ... To know how he was doing."

"And why?" Severide puts his hands on his hips, he's really mad at Casey. "That bastard tried to kill you, I don't know how many times, and yet you run over there to see him?”

"I don't ... I just wanted to know ..." He tries to stand but another wave of contractions hits him, he sits. Severide takes a deep breath trying to calm down.

"Matty looks at me, you're about to give birth, Voight is the last person you should be meeting right now." He says, frustration pouring out of his voice.

"Antonio told me that he is out of control, I felt sorry for him, Sev." 

"Sorry? Matty is from Voight we're talking about, the guy who tried to kill you, set fire on your house, now you tell me you feel sorry for him?"

"He look a bit lonely, Severide.”

"People like Voight are never alone, Matty. He must have some bodies hidden in his closet."

“I know, I’m sorry, he just lost his son, Sev, I don't even want to imagine the pain he's feeling now." Casey rubs his belly, Braxton Hicks again. "But I don't want to talk about him right now, I didn't come here for that, forgive me." Perhaps Voight deserves to be alone and to be tortured by his own mind.

“No, you don’t need to apologize!" Severide sits on the narrow bed next to Casey. "It hurts?" He massages Casey's shoulders.

"No, not really. It's just uncomfortable."

"You look tired." Severide massages Casey's shoulders, his large hands slipped over his shoulders, the omega relaxes against his fingers. "It won't be long now." He places his arm over his chest, leans against Casey's neck and sniffs it.

Casey likes it when soft, gentle kisses were planted down his neck and shoulders. "You're moaning, Casey..." Severide whispers in his ear making him smile. "Do you like it?"

"Is it okay if I say I'm not ready for this yet?" He sighs. "I really want to see my baby, hug her, Kel, but she is safe here with me, I would like to keep her like this." Casey nods heavily, exhausted. "I'm not ready for her to be born yet."

"She'll be safe with us. We are two well-trained men and scary enough to keep any threats away from our little girl."

Casey nods understandingly "Jamie..." 

"What?"

Casey smiles, he turns to face Severide. "It's not Lucy, and I've been thinking of a few names. I want you to be a part of it, all the details, Sev. So if you don't like Jamie, I can ..."

"I Love!" Severide responds smiling. "Jamie Casey Severide." 

Casey is quiet looking Severide in the eye, tears forming in the corner of his eyes. "Really?" He didn't bother fighting the tears that escaped his eyes.

"Well, it can be Severide Casey if you want, I don't care about the order." Severide replies with a shrug. "Oh don't go cry, Matty." He holds Casey's face in his hands and kisses his lips. "I love you." He gently wrapped his long arms around his belly.

"I love you, Kelly Severide."

_"When the night was full of terrors_   
_and your eyes were filled with tears_   
_When you had not touched me yet_   
_Take me back to the night we met"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, let's have this baby <3 Thank you for reading! Forgive my mistakes.
> 
> PS: This one have an special taste #Jamie <3


	33. Can we surrender?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I surrender...

_"Whenever you're ready..."_

Severide's hand landed on Casey's hip, the omega slowly moving from side to side in time with the music.

"Feel better?" Severide asks gently, keeping pace with Casey.

"Yes." He rests his head on Severide's chest and relaxes.

They stay like this in the living room of Severide's apartment, it's late at night and Casey is having trouble sleeping. 

Shay came from the kitchen with a termicc bag on her hands.

"Here, take it." She hands the bag to Severide. "Sit on the couch Matt, this gonna help." She waits for Casey to sit down and shoves the bag under his body. "Try to relax, you need to sleep."

Casey nods in understanding.

Severide sits next to him, an arm around Casey's shoulders. Shay hands him a small bottle of oil.

"Use your hands, Kelly. Massage his hips and breasts, it will lessen the pain and the uncomfortable feeling."

Casey winced as soon as Severide touched his skin. "We can do this in our bedroom if you want, Matty."

"Yes, please." Casey tries to get up. Shay snorts in response.

"Shy now, Matt? Really?"

"I do not want to do that." Casey finally says.

"Okay, love, we don't need to do anything." Severide assures him.

"No! Not that! This!" He points to the middle of his thighs. "I'm not ready!" Severide and Shay look at each other, Casey is crying again. "Sorry! Sorry!" He repeats. "I'm going to sleep!" He gets up and goes back to the bedroom.

"Kelly ..." Shay crosses his arms.

"Yah, I know, hormones."

In the morning Shay finds Casey sitting in the living room with a jar of ice cream over his belly.

"Morning." She looks at the jar of ice cream, slices of bacon floating inside. "Hugh ..." She grimaces.

Casey sighs, he didn't sleep well. "I hate that."

"So don't eat that." She sits on the couch next to him.

"No, I hate being like this ... I don't want to be pregnant anymore, Shay. Am I being a bad father?"

"It's almost over, this baby is just around the corner, Matt. You're doing good." She stretches out on the couch, the television is on. "What are you watching?"

"I don't know." He swallows another spoonful of his ice cream bacon. "I hate this too."

"Just throw it away, Matt."

"I can't, I really can't stop eating this crap!"  
  
Shay looks at him, Casey doesn't usually curse.

"Do you want to do something? I don't know, we can go out and, oh man, don't go throw up now." She says when she sees Casey covering his mouth with wrist. "Okay, sorry, you can throw up, I won't stop you."

"I will not!" He says, breathing quickly. "I do not want to."

"Okay, well, we can stay here and watch TV. Contractions?"

"No, not enough at least. Why doesn't she move? Why is it taking so long? Shit, Shay! I just want this to be over soon!"

"Yes, it's a really bad movie!" She says ignoring what he said.

"It's not about the movie ..."

"I know, but I also know that you're just tired and, believe me, this wait won't be any better if you act like that, Matt."

Casey is silent, ashamed of himself. "I love her."

"I know, this is pretty obvious. Don't blame yourself for going crazy, this is normal. Babies have their own time, Matt. She will come when she gets ready to."

"I hate waiting."

"You will learn. Severide told me that he is going to take a vacation to spend some time with you and Jamie. Man, this is going to be interesting!" She laughs.

"Do you think we're going to go crazy together?"

"I bet on that." She looks at the TV for a moment without really paying attention. "You are good together, Matt." There is a more serious tone to her voice now. "You two are really good together."

"Was that a compliment, Shay?"

"Yes. You are the only person who can make Kelly happy and I am very proud of what you guys have built."

"Thank you." Casey smiles, watching TV again. "Too late for those Lamaze classes?"

"You bet."

"I don't want to do this without drugs."

"You're going to do it, don't worry."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because you are Matthew Casey, 'the' Matthew Casey, you can do anything."

"Shay?"

"Yeah?"

"Never let me get pregnant again, okay?"

Casey sat down slowly on bed, Severide still sleeps peacefully beside him, he slides his feet off and leans against the headboard. A tired sigh escapes from his lips, using his arm to support his belly, he walks to the bathroom.

The sudden bathroom lighst irritates him, rubing his eyes he goes over to the sink and turns on the tap, letting the water flow for a few seconds, looking himself in the mirror, his face is rounder, his eyes are swollen, his nose is red, has painful pimples that irritate him now.

He washes his face scaring sleep away.

In heavy, slow steps, he reaches the kitchen, there is nothing he wants here, he is just tired of staying in bed and needs to move.

His belly is lower now and his body is ready for delivery, he can feel it. "Take your time, jamie, it's okay, you're doing fine..."

Everything is ready for that moment, there is a crib in Severide's room, tiny clothes in the wardrobe and diapers and more diapers in a box in the closet, months ago he just had a cold, lonely home where he hated to go back every night, now he gotta a family to look after and he couldn't be more grateful for that.

He sits on the couch and puts his feet on the coffee table, his hands rubbing the belly in circles feeling what he imagines to be the daughter's head fitted towards his lower abdomen.

"We can do it, can't we, darling? We are a great team." He says to his daughter. "Forgive me for what I said earlier about being tired of being pregnant... I'm going to miss having you in here inside me, kicking me, not letting me sleep, making me eat strange and disgusting things." He sighs, tilting his head and looking at the ceiling. "But having you here is going to be the best thing... You are the best thing I have ever done, darling. Oh yes, you are..."

_"We let the waters rise_   
_We drifted to survive_   
_I needed you to stay_   
_But I let you drift away_   
_My love where are you?"_

Across the city, Voight watches the fire, he drinks whiskey while watching the flames consume quickly without leaving any trace of what Justin's car was, he is alone in the old warehouse outside the city limits. 

The day is almost dawn and he hasn't slept yet, not that it matters now, he never had to sleep much in his life. When the sun clears up in the sky, he is sitting on Justin's grave, the bottle of whiskey beside him, but he is not drunk enough yet.

"Jamie ..." He repeats only to himself and to the grave below him. "You are going to have a sister, Justin. I don't know when, but he must be in labor by now." He laughs. "That's right, he, I got an omega pregnant. Damn omega! And that was the best shit I've ever done ..." He shakes his head trying to chase off his confused thoughts. "When you were little, you used to ask for a brother. Your mom and I never thought of having another, she was worried about me being a bad enough influence for you... " He laughs from the memory. "She would hate me if she were here ... I hate myself now."

He gets up and looks at the grave one last time. "She was right but, this little girl, I can't make she hate me too." He touches the headstone with his fingertips and leaves, the day is starting and he still has a city to take care of, because this is what heroes do, they take care of people, this is what he is going to do now, this is what he should have done from the beginning.

Casey woke up scared, he was on the couch and surrounded by the most absolute silence. Instinctively, he rubs his belly, he is stiff and his skin is tight, but there is no pain, absolutely none, just a strange sensation of movement, as if the daughter is trying to move further and further down. He checks the robe he's wearing looking for moisture, but it's dry, no sign of its water breaking yet.

"Hey, don't sleep on the couch again, Matty!" He hears Severide grumble, then he looks down to see the alpha lying on the rug next to the coffee table.

"What are you doing there, Kel?" He sits down slowly still holding his belly.

"If my pregnant partner sleeps on the couch, I need to know what's wrong with our bed." He says visibly grumpy.

"There's nothing wrong, I just ... I didn't want to wake you up, that's all. Please, get up."

Severide sits across from Casey. "Is something wrong, Matty?" He asks gently.

"No, absolutely. I'm just trying to deal with the idea of delivery and, I'm a little scared about it." He says sincerely.

"You are not alone, Casey, I will be here and, well, not exactly, but I will be there and, God, I don't even know what I'm saying now!"

Casey smiles, he understands it perfectly. “I genuinely love what you're trying to say, Kelly. I know that I've been behaving strangely for the past few days, but, I know you're with me." He says touching Severide's face, the alpha's blue eyes are fixed on him.

"Hey, you gotta every right to freak out, look at you, this pregnancy was anything but normal, you deserve some credit here, Matty. How you're holding there? "Severide asks, examining Casey's belly. "Has it started yet?"

"No, nothing different. I thought about taking a shower, are you coming with me?"

Severide looks at him as if this is something very strange to hear, it makes Casey smile.

"I read that breastfeeding helps speed up labor, Kelly ..." He says with a sly smile on his lips. 

"You what?" So Severide got it. "Oh, do you want me to ...? I thought yours, well, you told me they were sore so I..."

Casey surprises him with a kiss. "Stop babbling, I won't offer twice, Severide." He says with a tone of authority that makes Severide's skin crawl.

Severide helps him to stand under the spray of water from the shower, he massages Casey's back and hips where he knows it hurts. Casey groans gratefully.

Wrapped in his robe again, he sits on the bed while watching Severide search the closet for clothes.

"What do you want to wear, Matty?"

"Kelly ..." He calls, but Severide doesn't look back at him.

"You can use one of my T-shirts, they are big enough and ..."

"Kelly, look at me." He demands attention from his alpha.

Severide turns to see him, Casey's robe is open, his swollen nipples are showing and his legs are slightly open.

"Oh, um, I ..."

"I would appreciate it if you could help me with that now, Severide." Casey says looking directly at him, Severide goes to him and, without saying anything else, he leans over and starts to kiss Casey's nipples.

Casey moans, Severide's lips are doing an incredible job, he needed it now, some relief.

Severide's sucking slowly, he doesn't want to and won't hurt his omega. Casey smells so unbelievably good, it's hard not to get excited, but all he wants to do is relieve Casey, make him comfortable.

"Kelly, are you going to bite me?" Casey asks, eyes still closed.

Severide stops what he's doing and looks at him. "Do you want this, Matty? Or are you just letting the hormones talk now?"

Casey opens his eyes in surprise. "I thought you wanted that too."

"I want to, hell I want to! But I want to make sure you're sure about that too."

Casey looks away. "I'm not sure about many things, Kelly. I don't know if I'll be able to go back to work after she is born, or if they'll want me there, you know with all this stuff about hiding my pregnancy, it was hard to have their respect before , I was safe being ignored the way it was, but now, they know that I’m an omega and, it won’t be the same thing. I’m not sure if I can take care of my own daughter, but about this, about this thing between us, I’m absolutely sure wat I want. I want to be with you, no matter what, I love you, Severide, that’s all I I'm sure."

_"Whenever you're ready, whenever you're ready_   
_Can we, can we surrender?"_

Severide looks at the floor, he didn't expect to hear that, so he takes a deep breath.

"I have some rules, Casey, and they are important to me, I hope you understand before we do it."

Casey is surprised now, again that expression of rejection threatens to appear on his face.

"These are simple rules, the first of which is: I don't want to be your owner, nothing like that, we are the same here, you and I, we are exactly the same. Number two: You will never depreciate yourself that way again, you are the bravest man I ever knew, you don't know that, but those firefighters idolize you, half of those guys don't have your courage, Matty, so never think less of yourself again, and three, Jamie will love you and, she'll know how lucky she is for being your daughter, because if she doesn’t do it, I’ll show it to her myself. Those are the rules, I hope you follow each one."

Casey starts to laugh, but tears stream down his face. "I can follow these rules, Kel."

"And there's one more, an 'addendum'."

"Addendum?"

"Yes." He says raising an eyebrow. "You can use that bossy tone more often to me, it really makes me very excited here."

"Huh, do we still have that oil that Shay gave, Kelly?"

"We certainly have."

"How about you show me what your hands are capable of doing then?"

"Oh man, you're going to kill here. I'll be right back!"

_"I'm running to your side_   
_Flying my white flag, my white flag_   
_My love where are you?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this cute conversation with an special friend and Bam! This chapter comes up, I was discouraged to write lately , but today it came ready. Forgive me for the delay, and don't give up on me.
> 
> PS: I know there are a lot of grammatical errors, please forgive me, I am trying to speak French and now my head is even more confused.


	34. A little journey to the unknown...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Follow me into the endless night  
I can bring your fears to live"

_"I took a little journey to the unknown,_  
_And I come back changed I can feel it in my bones_  
_I fucked with forces that our eyes can't see_  
_Now the darkness got a hold on me_  
_How long baby have I been away?"_

Antonio is always the last to leave the police station, despite the fact he had promised Laura millions of times that he will arrive home earlier, he rarely manages to keep that promise and, tonight is no different, it is past 10 pm and he is still is sitting here at his desk, sunk in piles and piles of papers. However tonight, he can feel a strange hum in the air that makes his skin crawl. He's seen nights like this so many times before, and it can't bode well. It is as if death itself is nearby, whispering random words in his ear.

Although Antonio is not a superstitious man to believe in omens, he has always been a good Catholic and knows that evil hides on nights like this.

He picks up the phone and looks at the screen, no calls, nothing, Laura's silence never sounds good, so he decides he gotta go home.  
His car is parked in front of the district, a short walk away, but he does so cautiously, looking around. His instincts are on the alert, he reaches into his jacket and holds the gun close to his fingers.

"Detective Dawson."

He knows that voice, so he turns to look at him, gun in hand; Hank Voight is standing in the street, his hands in his coat pockets, and the same smile that Antonio hates on his lips. So, did devil come after him tonight?

"What do you want, Voight?" He opens the car door, is not willing to stay here and talk to Sergeant.

"Put your gun down, Detective, I'm unarmed." Voight raises his hands in the air trying to prove his point. "I come in peace."

The beer is in front of him, but Antonio's not drinking it, Voight ordered whiskey and, Antonio has the impression that this is not his first dose today.

"You better tell me what you want, I really gotta go." He says, sorry to have agreed to follow Voight to this bar.

"I thought about going out and seeing an old friend." Voight shrugs, as if it were something casual, like if they've done it before.

"We're not friends, Voight." Antonio responds impatiently.

"I always considered you one of the good guys, Antonio. That should count."

"Is that what you came to tell me, Voight? That I am one of the good guys? You could have called."

"No, it isn't that." Voight looks around. "I want you to come to work with me, Antonio."

Antonio takes a few seconds to process the information, so he laughs. "You are drunk if you think I work with people like you, Voight!" He gets up to leave, but Voight takes his arm.

"You haven't heard my proposal yet, Antonio."

"I don't do the kind of dirty work you do, Voight! I'm not interested."

"That's exactly why I need you on my team. Please, take a sit ..."

Something inexplicable makes Antonio sit back and listen to the rest of Voight's speech.

"I will not be one of your henchmen."

"I don't expect you to be, Antonio."

"Then why do you want me on your team?"

"Life needs balance, detective, that's what keeps chaos in order." He takes another sip of his drink. "I am chaos, you balance that."

"I'm not afraid of you, Voight." Antonio says as a warning. "Don't even think about bribing me, so if this is one of your bribery tricks, I don't have ..."

"I know, and honestly, it makes me want you by my side, Antonio. No tricks. I have carte blanche to put together my own team and I want you on it."

"I spent the last two years trying to put you in prison, Voight, and now you want me to work for you?"

"Not for me, with me, Antonio. What do you say me?" 

"That you're the biggest scoundrel I've ever met. I won't give up until I send you to hell, Voight." 

Voight smiles, he crosses his arms and sighs. "The fact is, Detective Dawson, that I'm already in hell."

Antonio is silent, for the first time since Voight approached him on the street, he realizes that the sergeant is just an old, tired man who has just buried his son and possibly will go to prison at some point. It is not this Voight that he thought of arresting when he started investigating him.

"I have a few things and ... I didn't say yes, but I can think if I accept my terms, Sergeant."

"I'm all ears, Antonio."

"I want full access to your cases, if you are doing something illegal, I will be the first to catch you."

"We can achieve this." Voight says shaking his head. "Anything else?"

"Leave Casey alone. Once and for all, forget everything about him."  
Voight looks at the empty glass on the counter, thinks for a moment and then reaches into his pocket and takes out an envelope.

"What is it?" Antonio asks when he sees the envelope placed on the table.

Voight takes a deep breath, his eyes on the envelope. "Part of the value of his home and, let's say, part of child support."

"Why...?"

"Just give it to him. A baby is expensive, he possibly need it."

"And where did that money come from, Voight? From any of your dealers friends?"

"Justin's life insurance. That's part from what they gave me for my son's life, Antonio."

_"Now the darkness got a hold on me_  
_I have seen what the darkness does_  
_Say goodbye to who I was_  
_I ain't never been away so long_  
_Don't look back them days are gone_  
_Follow me into the endless night_  
_I can bring your fears to live_  
_Show me yours and I'll show you mine_  
_Meet me in the woods tonight"_

"I can play violin." Casey is looking at the ceiling when he says that. Severide is leaning over him, rubbing his body gently with the oil, but then he stops what he's doing and turns his attention back to Casey.

"You what?"

"I learned to play alone, I'm not that good, but I like to play". Casey remained motionless, looking at the opposite wall. "It helped me when I had anxiety attacks."

"And why do I only know that now, Matty?" He's surprised to hear that.

Casey looks away. "I don't know, I didn't think it was important, Sev."

Severide sits down next to him and pulls a few strands of hair from Casey's forehead. "What else I don't know about you, Casey?"

"It is not important, besides, my violin burned down with my house." He covers his eyes with his hands, the tiredness is visible in his movements. "All my things are gone." He winces slightly and keeps rubbing his eyes. 

"We can buy you another one. I wanna see you play, Matty." 

Casey removes the hand from his face and looks at him curiously, an eyebrow raised to the middle of his forehead. "Since when do you like classical music, Sev?"

"It's not the music I like." He slides his hand between Casey's thighs and caresses the skin around the omega's vagina, Casey lets out a surprised moan. "But I can learn a thing or two about it if you want to play for me."

"It seems like a challenge to me." Casey says slowly as he rocks his hips around Severide's fingers. "The 'play' thing, you know." Casey's mouth comes up in a half smile before he bends down to kiss Severide.

The alpha reacts and his fingers search Casey's vagina until he finds it, Casey moans again.

"Hmmm, is it okay to be horny right now?" Casey asks, covering Severide's hand with his and guiding the alpha's movements over his clitoris.

"I think it is perfectly normal." Severide whispers in his ear, he is so excited that he can barely keep his thoughts in order. "But I don't want to hurt you, Matty. Tell me if it hurts, okay?"

"I'm fine, Sev." Casey uses Severide's fingers to rub his clitoris, chasing a somewhat desperate orgasm, he is wet and moaning softly and this must be the most beautiful thing Severide has ever seen, his omega so excited and masturbating that way.

"I can feel you looking at me." Casey mumbles without open his eyes.

"Shouldn't I look?" His fingers escape and penetrate the wet channel, massaging gently.

"It's weird ..." It's not a complaint, he is really enjoying the moment. "It's just weird that you want to look." Casey slides his hips and spreads his legs a little more, letting Severide touch him more deeply, while he masturbates slowly. "Alphas don't like what I am." He mumbles and it causes Severide to stop moving her fingers and look at him.

"And what are you, Matty?"

"Don't stop, Kelly!" Casey asks and Severide obeys. "I like it when you touch my pussy, that's it. Don't stop!"

Severide moves his fingers in and out, paying attention to Casey's reaction. "Why do you think I don't like to see you masturbate, Matty?" He puts one more finger, now there are three of them inside Casey, making the omega moan louder. "You are perfect doing this. So perfect! Just come to me, I want to see you coming, Matty."

Casey rubs himself faster, ignoring the semi-hardened penis, focusing only on the clitoris. "Nobody ever touches me here, not like you, Severide."

Severide feels his chest tighten, he doesn't want to imagine anyone else touching Casey now, so he focuses on making him come, and it doesn't take long to feel the channel squeeze his fingers and Casey moan in relief.

The anxiety mixed with the need for relief plus the tiredness of the pregnancy leaves Casey exhausted, breathless and sleepy.

Severide lies down beside him, watching him. "You are handsome, Matty! Perfect!" He says touching Casey's face with his fingertips. "I love you."

Casey is smiling, he leans on his side against a stack of pillows and kisses Severide's lips.

"I'm ready, Kelly."

Severide nods, a half smile on his lips. Holding Casey's neck, he looks into his eyes. "This is forever, Matty. Me and you, forever."

Casey nods, he knows that. "I know."

"If it affects you in any way, if it hurts our daughter, I won't ..."

"We're fine, Kel. This isn't going to hurt her, just speeding things up, and I'm ready for that too."

"We should do this during your next heat, Matty, it can hurt."

"I don't have regular heats, Kelly, I don't want to wait any longer."

"Neither do I ..." Then Severide leans over him, his nose sniffing the skin on Casey's neck, scenting, kissing delicately. "You are my safe ground, Matty. My only safe place is right beside you." He says before sinking his teeth into the back of Casey's neck.

_"Don't look back them days are gone_  
_Follow me into the endless night_  
_I can bring your fears to live_  
_Show me yours and I'll show you mine_  
_Meet me in the woods tonight"_

Casey sits up slowly, he has a feeling he is going to vomit if he tries to stand up, closing his eyes, he breathes through his mouth slowly. Severide must have noticed this because, in less than a second, he is standing next to Casey with a towel in his hands.

"I'm here, Casey ..." He whispers softly as Casey returns to breathe normally, he places the towel over Casey's neck right over the bite.

"Sev ..." Casey reaches out blindly and tries to hold Severide's hand, he leans forward and lets out a painful groan, a sharp pain along his hips radiating to the base of his belly, making him move and shake Severide's hand tightly.

"Was that a contraction, Matty?"

Casey opens his eyes, there is a mixture of pain and relief in them. "Yes ... a real one."

"Oh ..." Severide helps him to lie down again, the two are naked. Severide lies down next to him watching the strange shape that Casey's belly turned over. "Can I do anything?"

"No, it's okay. Is Shay home? I think I need her around."

"Yes she is." He gets up and goes after her.

"Kelly!" Casey calls from the bed, the alpha turns to him. "Put some clothes on!"

Severide comes back and gets dressed quickly. "Nothing she has never seen before." He looks for clothes for Casey, but realizes it is useless now, so he just covers it with a sheet. "I'll be right back."

Casey has been looking forward to the birth of his daughter for more than a week and will definitely not miss this emotional roller coaster. He touches the bite, it doesn't hurt, but there is a tingling sensation in the area.

Shay examines him, she has wrinkled her nose a few times since entering the room and has kept a serious look the entire time.

"Okay, Matty, everything is fine here, there is no dilation yet, but from now on we are going to control the contractions, okay? This could take a few more hours to really happen. We can wait a little longer here, but as soon as the contractions get closer we are going to the hospital." She says leaving the room quickly.

Severide goes after her. "Hey, what is it? Is there something wrong with him or Jamie?"

"No! Absolutely." She responds by rubbing her nose. "I can't stay there, can't you see?"

Severide looks at his friend in confusion. "What?"

"You marked territory around him, the room is smelling and please don't start showing your teeth now!"

"I don't ..." He hadn't noticed. "I didn't ... I bit him when he felt the contraction." He says in a guilty tone. "Did I cause this?"

There is a mixture of disbelief and relief on Shay's face. "oh, my! I'm sorry I messed up this and, no, I didn't mess up. God! I didn't think you guys were doing this, I ... Kelly, you bastard!" She is obviously happy for them. "Maybe you accelerated the delivery, but don't worry, you didn't do anything wrong, Kelly, just don't go all alpha now, I'm not a threat, okay?"

"I am not!" He extends his arms to embrace her, she moves away.

"Don't even think about it, you smell like pheromones!" She goes to the bedroom. "I'm going to get my bag, don't leave him alone now."

Casey is on his feet when he returns to the room, the omega is rummaging through the dresser looking for something comfortable to wear.

"Let me help you." Severide finds sweatpants and helps Casey to sit on the bed and get dressed. Casey's strangely alienated . "Matty?"

"Huh, I needed to shave mine, you know ..." He looks around. "I need a shower and, can you put towels on the bed, Kelly? Please lock the door too ... The windows ..."

"What? Casey, what are you afraid of?"

"Fear? No, I'm not afraid, it's just ... mmm" He mumbles, another contraction. "That hurts." He uses Severide as a support to get up and walk beside the bed, this seems to help with the pain. "I need more blankets and ... The door, please."

Severide smiles, he hasn't noticed until now. "Are you nesting ..." He approaches Casey and helps him sit on the bed. "I promise you are safe here, Matty, I will take care of you. It's okay, we are going to do this."

"I want to stay here as long as I can, Kel. We are going to the hospital later, I don't like hospitals."

"Okay, Matty, we can do this, just promise me you'll tell me when the time is right, okay?"

"We are trained firefighters ..." He gets up again, walking looks a better idea now. "Everything will be fine."

"Even so, we are not taking risks." He holds Casey's face in his hands and I kiss his lips. "What do you want to do now?"

"Sleep. Can you sleep with me, Kel?"

"I'm not going anywhere, Matty."

He goes to the closet and takes all the blankets he finds, some towels too, and spreads them all over the bed, Casey just watches. "This thing you were doing, nesting, can I do it with you?"

"Yes, I don't want to be alone, Kel." He kneels on the bed and stands there, hands supporting his body. Severide lies down on the other side of the bed and watches him.

"Comfortable?"

"Never been better." Casey bites his lip, he's starting to sweat. "This is going fast now." He tries to say something, but a sob escapes his mouth and he starts to cry. "I screw it! You and I were going ..."

"What? Okay, we already had this conversation, Matty." He leans down to touch Casey's face. "You're confused. It could be the pain or, Shay told me the room is smelling and it must be affecting you. Breathe, okay? You need to stay calm and focus on that, please, Matty."

Casey is on his side, arranging a pillow between his legs. "I am getting crazy ..."

"No, you're doing well. Look at you, so strong!" He kisses Casey on the forehead. "It's all right. Do you want to get some sleep?"

"Yeah".

"It's better to do this now, we still have some time."

_"The truth is stranger than my own worst dreams_  
_Now the darkness got a hold on me_  
_I have seen what the darkness does_  
_Say goodbye to who I was_  
_I ain't never been away so long"_

About twenty minutes of peaceful sleep until Casey wakes up in the middle of another contraction, he moans softly and tries not to show it, but when he looks at Severide the alpha is looking at him. 

"You don't have to hide when you're in pain, Matty". His hand over Casey's stomach, he caress lightly, is hard and there is a slight vibration at the base.

"Okay, it wasn't that bad." He sits down slowly. "I'm going to the bathroom". He gets up and walks to the bathroom, Severide gets up and follows him, but doesn't try to help him, Casey is doing well on his own.

"I can do this, Kel."

"I know, but I won't risk to let you fall."

"How long did I sleep?" "

"Not much, about 20 minutes, but you were in pain in your sleep, Matty, they are getting close now". Severide waits for Casey to sit on the toilet. "How do you feel?"

"I can't say, everything hurts and then nothing else hurts. I just want everything to be okay with her, Sev."

"I'm going to warn Shay, this could be faster than we thought". He turns to get his phone.

"What if I'm not ready, Kel? What if I do something wrong and hurt her?"

"You are not going to do anything wrong, Matty, just focus on breathing, everything is going well."

"How the hell do you know? You never had a child before!" He screams and repents at the same moment. "Sorry, my god, sorry Kelly".

Severide approaches him and kneels to stay the same height. "Hey, it's okay, it's okay. Look at me, you're not going to do anything wrong".

"I am afraid".

"I know, but this is normal. We're going to do this, Matty. We are a good team, remember?"

"Yes." Casey wipes his eyes. "I'm done ..." He says blushing, Severide helps him to his feet. "I can dressed myself".

Casey knelt on the floor when the pain became almost unbearable, he used the feet of the bed for support, Severide is sitting behind him, rubbing his back gently.

"Please ask Shay to come here." Casey asks through clenched teeth in pain.

"Okay, I'm going to bring her."

Casey breathes slowly trying to keep the pain in check. When he opens his eyes again, Shay is kneeling beside him.

"Breathe, it's okay, Matt. Do you want me to do something for you?"

"How much longer, Shay?"

"I don't know, Matt, it could take a few more hours. We can go to the hospital if you want."

"My water hasn't broken yet." He gets up with Shay's help. "I'm thirsty." Severide quickly brings him water, he drinks slowly. 

He returns the glass to Severide and takes his hand in the process. "You can do that, can't you? Help burst my water, you must have read this somewhere."

Severide smiles, he is not sure if Casey is serious. "No, I didn't, Matty, but if that is too much for you now, we can go to the hospital."

"It's a lot, but I want to stay here now. Oh god, it hurts so much!" He lay down again. "Remind me not to do this again."

Shay helps him cover himself, she touches Casey's belly. "Yes, of course, I can castrate you both after that, I do the job myself."

"I'm so ready for all this to be over soon." He grumbles, rubbing his hips, at that moment Shay meets Severide's eyes, he is worried, even though he knows that pain is part of the process, he is getting desperate to see Casey in pain.

The contractions remain normal, Shay keeps an eye on Casey, Severide looks a little more anxious, and although he is trying to stay calm, Shay can see the fear in his eyes.

"Stop this!" She whispers to him when Casey goes to the bathroom. "You're scaring him!"

"What? I'm ..." He sighs and scratches the tip of his nose. "I'm freaking out, aren't I?"

"It's normal, but he's doing well. He'll be fine. Just stay calm, he needs you now, Kelly."

_"Say goodbye to who I was_  
_I ain't never been away so long_  
_Don't look back them days are gone_  
_Follow me into the endless night_  
_I can bring your fears to live_  
_Show me yours and I'll show you mine_  
_Meet me in the woods tonight."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so many problems with this chapter that I thought about giving up and deleting this whole story, but anyway, I really want to end this. Forgive my mistakes, I promise I will finish this.  
It has been difficult days and dealing with my ups and downs has become more and more difficult, be patient with me, please <3


	35. An unexpected help...

_"My head’s under water_  
_But I’m breathing fine"_

Voight looked at the phone screen for the thirtieth time in less than ten minutes, there is nothing there, but he does not know what he is expecting to receive too. He rubs his cold hands together, a nurse walks past him, bumps on his shoulder, informing him that Casey's doctor was out of service and couldn't find her, that's when he picked up the phone and started calling, someone must know where the doctor is.

He turns to watch the hall, the strong taste of the whiskey he took earlier still leaving his tongue numb. Maybe the police radio is off because no one calls him, and all he wants is for the radio to start humming and another strong drink now...

He wanted to be drunk, but despite the four shots of whiskey, he was completely sober. At least the drink could give him some excuse for his own behavior now, but no, he wouldn't have that mercy. Right now, he wants any excuse to get him out that door and not stay here in the hall waiting for news that he knows he has no right to ask. He shouldn't have been informed about this, but he kept his ears open and some information is not difficult to obtain from the medical team, he still has good contacts here.

"You broke the rule number one of our agreement, Hank." Antonio kept his hands in his pockets when he approached Voight standing in the hospital corridor. "And it's not even five hours since we sealed that deal."

The alpha sighs, he puts his phone in his pocket quickly. The movement did not go unnoticed by Antonio.

"Go home, I'll let you know when I hear from him."

"Are you saying yes, Antonio? Did you accept my job offer?" He argues trying to take the focus off the conversation.

"With a cheater like you? Forget it! Don't let them see you here, go home!"

"They need me." He mumbles back to Antonio, the detective stops in the hall and turns to him. 

"What? No, he doesn't have to, he's fine with his alpha next to him. Go home, Voight!"

"It's my daughter, Antonio!" He doesn't back down.

"Really? And when did you discover this? Before or after trying to kill her?" Antonio looks around. "Don't make trouble here, Voight."

Voight just agrees, he walks away from the detective and heads down the hall towards the exit while Antonìo heads for the elevator, disappearing from the Sergeant's field of vision. 

Only he doesn't leave...

_"You’re my end and my beginning_  
_Even when I lose I’m winning_  
_‘Cause I give you all of me_  
_And you give me all of you"_

Casey get a few deep breaths as the contraction finally ends. Leaning on Severide's shoulders, he keeps his legs slightly bent and apart. Sweat drops trickle down his forehead and temples covering him., his face flushed and beaded, beginning to be anxious and uncomfortable.

Twenty-two hours since Casey felt the first contractions. Twenty-two long hours and almost no progress from then. He is tired, sweaty and softened by pain.

His whole body seems unable to proceed. "I'm tired..." He looks away when he sees the doctor entering the room again, he is examining him more often now, and this is getting desperately uncomfortable. He hates being touched like that. 

"Hmmmm..." He moan pitifully and take deep breath to calm his overworked body due the contractions, it's the first time he lets any noise escape. He doesn’t feel well.

"Gotta move, Matty?"

"No... Not right now. Can I stay here?" He nestles his face a little closer to Severide's chest, rubbing his nose there, he lets out a breath.

"Sure, I'm holding you, just breathe, I know it hurts. Can you talk to me when it's too much for you, Matty?" Hoping to get a real answer.

"I'm okay..." He took his hand and pressed it against his stomach. 

"I know you are, you are my brave man! Still, you are not going through this alone, okay?"

Casey's doing the best to focus on what Severide’s saying, but another a wave of nausea rolls over him, he has vomited twice before and had to do it under the watchful eyes of Severide, Shay and a doctor he has never seen before, because there is no dignity in childbirth.

Instinctively, Severide moves him quickly and helps him to lean against a trash can, the same one he used the first two times.

"Okay, no one is watching now."

Casey would have laughed if he hadn't been so busy getting his guts out. He looks at the clock on the bedroom wall, his vision blurred by tears of effort, it is not even dawned outside yet and he is so tired that he could sleep even between those painful contractions.

Shay is silent in the corner, the doctor has come in and out of the room a few times just to check on Casey and disappear through the door again, a painful reminder that he doesn't have an good health care. Nobody said anything about Dr. Hailey, and he's afraid they won't find her in time.

God knows where he would be now from Severide and Shay wasn't here for him, maybe giving birth on a stretcher down the hall, the thought scares him and he purred low, Severide's arms hug him tightly, the alpha thought it was another contraction.

A thin white nightgown covered his body, the fabric is already soaked with sweat now. The delay in the water breaking is making everything slower and more painful, he is feeling despair taking over his mind.

Trying to stay calm, he sinks again into Severide's neck and inhales the alpha's scent, which helps to keep him sane.

“Do you wanna try to walk around, Matty?” Severide whispers to him, he knows the answer but needs some distraction.

"No ..." Feeling too heavy to walk, Casey can no longer hide his despair and starts to cry, he needs it. “Oh god…I’m sorry.” The tears flowing freely down his face.

Despite what people may think, Casey is not a fragile man, he has proved it before on many occasions, he is strong, resilient, seeing him cry like that makes Severide's heart break into pieces. He wasn't crying before, nor has made a sound during the entire process of pain. 

"Don't be sorry about that, you are doing well. Very well!" Severide positions himself behind him and starts to massage Casey's spine, the omega lets out a sigh of relief when he feels the alpha's fingers working there, he leans against the edge of the bed and enjoys the massage, his hands felt like heaven. "I'm so proud of you, Matty..."

Casey nodded miserably, following the doctor with his eyes as he examines him again, he just waved when he asked him to stand and walk a little more, Severide stepped forward to help him stand when Casey placed his feet on the floor.

Severide smiled at him. “How does it feel?” He asked quietly. "About your special gift?”

Casey look at him. “What?”

"Have a baby inside you, how does it feel?"

"I'm not feeling special right now."

Severide ruffled his hair. "Yes, you are special, Matty. A lot."

“I nearly lost my mind. I was so scared to go through this alone,..." He whispers as he walks around the room at a slow pace, supported by Severide's arms. "I'm not good on my own, Kelly, you saw my house."

Severide swallows, he squeezes Casey in his arms. "I think you are being very picky with yourself right now. You should have seen my room at my mom's house, that was terrible! "

Casey sighs, flashing Severide a look with one eyebrow quirked to the alpha standing next him. "I'm happy that you're here with me."

"Yes, and this is a permanent thing, the two of us forever." Severide kisses his sweaty head.

"Where's Doctor Hayley?” He asks breathlessly.

"I don't know, baby, nobody can tell me where she is."

Casey's in pain again, his hands clasping Severide's shoulders as they move from side to side slowly, in a painful dance, then Casey bends down bringing Severide with him.

The doctor quickly approaches, he bends down and checks Casey, he bites his lip trying to stifle a groan, couldn’t breathe. 

"Do not touch me!" He says rudely, Severide gets surprised, Casey is usually very kind.

"Casey what's wrong?” 

“It's fine. Sorry, it wasn't supposed to sound like that." He blew out a breath through his lips, finally letting his body go limp and being held by Severide. 

"We can try anesthesia, your choice here." The doctor's says watching the omega's reaction.

"No, I'm sorry. I dind't want to... Sorry, i dind't wish to sound like that." He repeats.

The doctor moves away from them, Severide helps him to stand up again.

"You did it well, Matty, stop saying sorry. If you want we can try another doctor. "

"That's not it, I don't know what's wrong with me, Sev, it's just that Dr. Hayley knows everything about me ..."

"You don't feel comfortable with this doctor, we can ask for another one until we find Dr. Hayley. "

"No, we can't." He smiles tiredly. "What if we don't find her in time, Sev?"

"They'll will, Matty, it'll be okay, I promise."

"Don't leave me alone here now."

"I'm not going anywhere, love." He hugs Casey, the omega is shaking. "What's it?"

"He must have other patients waiting." He says looking at the doctor standing next to Shay. "This is the third time he has checked his watch."

"If he's getting on your nerves, he needs to leave. Right down the line, you must feel comfortable."

"I'm fine, alpha." He rests his head on Severide's shoulder and takes a deep breath. 

"You say so, love."

Casey turned an incredulous look on him. "Are you serious?” He made a face.

"But of course I am!." He rubs the tip of his nose on Casey's forehead, spreading his scent over him. "I know you hate hospitals and how hard this is being. I'm here to take care of you, Matty."

His muscles contracting painfully. "Caught me off guard..." He hissed as a contraction made him tense again. "I really wish that I dressed up a little better." 

Severide frowned in confusion, for a moment, before he realized what Casey was saying, he's wearing one of those hospital gowns with a huge opening at the back. "I think you look great! I can see your legs from here and I can't complain about the view."

"My legs?” Casey asks as if it doesn't make sense at all.

"They are beautiful, Matty." Severide tightens his arms around the omega, they are swinging slowly around the room. "I love them. I love you."

"Is that your way of saying that you find me hot even when I'm covered in sweat, Kelly?” Casey smiles, Severide is relieved to distract him from the pain for a moment.

"Oh no, I have a thousand other ways to do this, one for each day that you allow me to be by your side, Matty."

Casey blushed, and then blushed more because he'd blushed. "Are you trying to make me horny right now?”

"I'm always trying to get you horny, Matty." Severide whispers in his ears, then Casey feels his own ass finding something, he turns and sees the edge of the bed, he didn't even realize he was being guided there.

“I'm scared, Kel..." Casey sits on the edge of the bed and sighs covering his eyes in silent, he is calm again. Severide leans over and kisses his forehead. Casey grumbles: "Did you tell everyone in the battalion about me, Kel?" His eyes still closed. 

"No. I told them about us, Matty." Severide says gently. "There is no me or you, it's us now." Severide puts his hand on Casey's stomach. "We're a family now." He says massaging his lower belly next. "I told everyone that I'm going to be a father."

"You did it?"

"Yes."

Casey groans when his next contraction hits harder, he tries to move around just to feel more pain, he's tired and getting more and more frustrated.

He got into a squatting position, Severide is there to help him. He is moaning and sinking his face against Severide's neck, without warning, he grabs one of the alpha's hands and guides it to the middle of his legs. "S'omething..." 

Severide slides his hand over Casey's vagina feeling the hot, moist flesh there, he doesn't know w9hat to do, he let Casey guide him, the omega is rubbing against him slowly, as if he desperately needs comfort, he never he saw Casey like that, so desperate.

"What do you want me to do, love?" He wants to do something to alleviate Casey's suffering, but the omega doesn't say anything, he keeps holding the alpha and purring, he hasn't purred before and it makes Severide wince, it's the most beautiful sound he's ever heard.

Casey drops the weight against Severide and opens his legs wider, a pool of amniotic fluid forms around him, releasing some of the pressure in his belly, he sighs in surprise.

His body finally seems to know what to do. 

Severide withdraws his hand slowly, it's wet and sticky, but there's no blood, that's a good thing. Shay is kneeling beside him and he didn't even notice her approaching.

"I should feel something, right?” Casey asks as he finally managed to get his thoughts in some kind of order. 

“Not really. Are you comfortable like that?" She asks gently. Casey just nods, yes, he's still making a low sound with his throat. 

"I would be comfortable, if that go out as planned."

"It's okay, Matty. The baby is fine, she was just a little late." Shay tries to comfort him. "You're doing well."

He takes a deep breath before glancing back down again. "I gotta get up." 

_"How many times do I have to tell you_  
_Even when you’re crying you’re beautiful too"_

"Why isn't it happening?" He cries, all of Casey's calm began to give way to despair as contractions grow closer together. Frustrated, he can only hold on to Severide and bend his knees down. 

This does not help to relieve the pain, so he lets go of the alpha and walks bent over to the bed, but he does not lie down, he is curled up against it.

"Need to push?" Severide asks, supporting Casey's body again.

"So bad." He chokes out in tears as spread his legs and pushed, feeling the baby kicked down into his pelvis, this increases the pressure while he pushes.

"Okay, Matt, lean against the bed and gently pull your knees apart." The doctor asks, Casey takes a few breaths before doing it, he kneels behind him and examines him.

"Okay, you're doing well, fully dilated, with your next contraction, I want you to push as hard as you can, Casey.”

"I need...! Shit!" He bites a groan and bends his knees more. 

"Okay, Matt, you can push now.” The doctor says. 

Casey pushes down hard, for an eternity, he thinks, but nothing happens. "I can't!" When the contraction stopped, Jamie slipped back in. "This is not working." He mumbles through clenched teeth, he collapses back onto the bed. "Not working, Kel..." He sobs and gasped for air. "I gotta move..." He's almost certain he would vomit if he remain lied down that way, he is trembling, and the smell of his fear is in the air. "Alpha!"

"Okay, Matt, the next time you push harder, the baby needs you to help her." The doctor says and Casey takes a deep breath, he feels his strength drain.

"Not working!" His voice was barely above a whisper. "Oh god! I can't!"

"Try harder!" The doctor says, a little rougher than he really should have done, Severide snarls at the doctor, he backs away in alarm. "Sorry..."

“I need a break” Casey whimpered, his body starting to collapse. 

"We can try to intervene ..." Suggests the doctor. "A small cut will be enough."

"No!" Casey yells in response, causing Severide to take the lead to protect him. "Okay, I can do this. You don't have to cut me of or anything like that." He made an odd noise with the throat.

"This will make things easier for you, Casey, you needn't be afraid." He insists, positioning himself between Casey's legs and placing the stirrups beside it, Casey winces paled. 

Severide holds the doctor by the arm. "You heard him, uncut!" By the red gleam in his eyes, he is ready to attack anyone who is a threat to Casey, he was on edge all the time and now the alpha is appearing under his skin.

"You better back of before I call security." The doctor tries to look firm, but it was the wrong thing to say to an alpha on alert.

_"And I’m so dizzy, don’t know what hit me, but I’ll be alright"_

There is movement in the corridor, something happened, Voight runs over there, and is paralyzed when he realizes that he is coming from the room where Casey is, some security guards run over there.

His gun is still in the holster, he won't risk anything here, two security guards are standing at the door, he pushes them and enters the delivery room.

"You can't get in here!" Casey's blonde friend puts her hands on his chest and pushes him out, he ignores her. 

"What the hell happened here?" He demands an answer. Shay looks scared enough to provide one.

"The doctor... Severide lost his mind..." She couldn't find the words and gestured to supplement. 

Severide growled when he saw Voight, he is sitting on the floor with Casey in his arms and growling incessantly, he is in alpha mode and trying to protect his omega, holding Casey close and protectively. 

Some dangerous situation activated the alpha, he wouldn't be out of control if everything was going well with his omega, Voight knows that, so he goes over to them and pushes the doctor out of the room. "Out!"

Casey moves his legs and spread them, he's pushing again, Severide keeps his arms tight around him, he is rationally inaccessible now. Voight keeps his hands raised, he is not a threat, not now at least. 

There is no fear in Casey's eyes, at last not from Severide. Even so, he is trying to get loose, giving birth is hard enough and doing it on the floor being pressed by the alpha would be impossible. Everything changes when he realizes Voight's presence in the room, definitely, he's scared now.

"Hank..." He panted as he tried to move. 

"I come to help you." Voight says looking at Severide. "He's in pain." 

Severide growls again looking at the two security guards standing at the door. Voight can smell his discomfort and anxiety in the air.

"Get out of here now!" Voight orders, he leaves no room for negotiations,Voight doesn't usually ask twice, both guards leave, Shay closes the door behind them.

"They can call the police." She says looking at Voight.

"I'm already here." He already saw her in the ambulance. "You can help?" Shay just nods. "I heard that you are the bravest firefighter in Chicago." He says trying to get Casey's attention. "I heard so much about you. You don't seem like the guy who gives up so easily, Casey."

Casey's watching him intently, listening without interrupting, he purrs again and that makes Severide growl louder. Voight focuses on supporting him and scenting the room with calming pheromones, he only did this once in his life, when Camille was dying. Casey's hips move and a thin line of liquid runs down his thighs, he moves his knees further apart. Shay blinks in the direction of Voight, it is working and Severide is slowly calming down.

"I need to know that you're not giving up yet, Matt." He makes sure Casey is listening to him. "He's just acting like that out of fear, he's afraid that someone will hurt you, but we're just here now, we're not going to hurt you."

"I'm not ..." Casey mutters, teeth clenched in pain, he gets rid of Severide's arms and holds on tight to Voight's shoulder, giving another push, this is happening, so Casey is silent, his body limp and cold. Voight shakes him gently, Casey just purrs in response.

He rests his head on the sergeant's shoulder, that way Voight can see the bite mark on his neck, a mated mark.

"Huh." This explains the alpha being so protective. Casey groans hard as he struggles another contraction, Shay is between his legs.

"Okay, you're doing well, Matt ... That, you can do it." She says drawled.

"It's burning...!" He says sinking his head against Severide again. He inhaled deeply and squeezed and released a few times to gain strength again.

"Okay, Matt, her head is coming out. You are doing well!" Shay waves to Voight, she looks worried and a little scared by Severide's behavior.

"Okay, kid. I'm going to get your guy back, you can keep here?" Hank waits for Casey to nod, so he looks at the other alpha on the floor.

"Are you going to calm down and stand next to your omega, do you hear me, alpha?" He raised a brow at him.

Growling, Severide steps back a little, he is trying to get his reason back.

"Do you hear me?" Voight yells in a commanding voice, then Severide agrees. "Very well, let's do that!" 

Severide support the omega's body, gently and rationally now. "I'm here, Matty. " He says. "I'm right here." Rubbing his face against Casey's face, feeling his cold, sweaty skin. "Shhh, it's okay, you're doing this, Matty. I love you so much.." He praised as he gently kissed Casey's sweaty face.

Voight feels a twinge in his chest, he shouldn't be here now, it's not fair for him to be here. At the same time, he doesn't want to leave the room until he is sure everything is fine.

"Hank..." Casey extends a hand and tries to hold Voight, he slumps a little in relief, briefly, before suddenly doubling up again. 

Voight looks at Severide for permission. He may be the oldest and strongest alpha here, but this is Severide's territory, and he has invaded enough. Severide doesn't likeit, but says nothing, so Voight comes over and supports the other side of Casey's body.

Casey got on his knees and leaned forward leans on both alphas making gravity help. Voight stops scenting the room, leaving only Severide to do that, a few more pushes and Jamie's head is out.

"It's okay, Matt, she's almost here." Shay turn the baby's head with complete adoration.

"Can you see her?" Casey sobbed, crying

"Yes I Can." Shay says smiling.

"And what is she like?" His voice ripping through his chest.

"You need to push it out, so we can see her better. Okay, just one more big push, Matt! You can do it!" 

Casey threw his head back, the pain increases and he wants to run away. “I- is she… is she alright…?” Taking a deep breath and shuddering, leaning back into Severide’s arms.

Suddenly, a sweet smell permeates the room and Jamie's body slipped out into the Shay's hands. Casey slides his hip down covering the baby's body completely. There is a deep silence in the room, so a little cry can be heard and Casey watches Shay lift Jamie, he leans back as the daughter was deposited on his chest, Jamie is here, finally.

"Hi..."

_"I’ll give my all to you_  
_You’re my end and my beginning_  
_Even when I lose I’m winning"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I'm not well, but everything can get better. Thank you for not giving up on me.


	36. Time to change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Time pushed me to the edge  
The jump was my decision  
I've only got myself to blame"

_"'Cause I have no right to love you_  
_When I chose to walk away_  
_I have no right to miss you_  
_When I didn't wanna stay..."_

Shay is tired, so tired that she falls asleep sitting in the waiting room, wakes up when Severide sits next to her.

"Did I missed something?” She asks yawning.

"No, it's okay, the doctor is with him now. She said everything's fine, without laceration." He sighs, he is also tired. "It went well, Shay."

"And why the long face?”

"I almost put him in danger, Shay. I shouldn't have ..."

"No, don't even think about it Kelly! Not now. Matt is fine, Jamie is fine, let's just let it go, okay?”

"I got a little scary back there, didn't I?"

Shay shrugs. "I work in an ambulance in Chicago, I have seen street kittens more frightening than you, big boy."

Severide smiles, letting the tension drain from his body. "I'm sorry, I know you were trying to help, Shay. Thanks for being there for me, for us ..."

"So you're going to do that thing, you know, eat the placenta or something like that?" She asks as rubbing her fingers together. Severide back his shoulders with an expression of disgust on his face.

"No! Why would I do that?"

"I thought alphas did that, you know, to consolidate the bond between you and the new baby." She explains with an amused smile on her lips.

Severide watches the hall, he sees Voight standing against a wall far away on the other side, head down, hands in his pockets.

"I know someone who needs to consolidate some bonds...

Voight doesn't seem to notice Severide's approach, and if he did he didn't try to move away from the other alpha, keeping his eyes focused on the floor. 

"I thought you were already gone, Voight."

"No, I ... I just wanted to make sure everyone is fine before I go." He says, his voice sounds soft, almost calm.

"They are all well." Severide watches the old alpha sigh, he looks so old and tired now. "Thanks for what you did in there. Things were a little out of control."

Voight takes his hands out of his pockets and scratches his eyes to scare off tiredness. "You will learn how to deal with it, don't worry. You are doing well, Severide."

"Thank you." Severide is really happy to hear that. "I'll..."

"Sure. I keep my word, Lieutenant. I won't be approaching again, don't worry."

"I'm not worried, not at all. This is my family, Voight, I can protect them." Severide says in a tone that he does not allow challenges or doubts, he has already marked his territory.

Voight just agrees. "I'm paying for hospital expenses and, for his new house."

"We don't need your money, Voight."

"It's not my money. It belonged to my son, Justin. If not for me, accept it for him."

"I'm going to talk to Matty, he decides whether to accept it or not."

"Okay, let me know what you guys decide, take your time." Voight walks away under Severide's eyes, he doesn't look so scary now.

"Voight ..."

Voight stops and looks at Severide. "Huh."

Severide is stunned and without thinking, he stutters, "Do you wanna met her properly, Voight?"

_"T_ _he jump was my decision_  
_I've only got myself to blame."_

The room smells like wild flowers, the silence is only broken by the soft sounds of Jamie's lips sucking on Casey's nipple. The omega does not move to see who entered the room, he is holding his daughter's tiny hand and staring at her, just at her.

Voight is silent watching the scene, he waits for Casey to notice him before approaching.

"She has freckles, they are small and, I already counted how many and where they are ..." Casey says without looking at Voight, the alpha approaches the bed slowly, testing the floor around. "She's been here for just a few hours and, I'm already going crazy ..." He smiles finally looking in Voight's direction. "This is normal?"

"Totally." Voight watches his daughter.

"We were here wondering if you were going to talk to us tonight, Hank."

Voight comes a little closer, still very cautious. "I was outside, waiting for it." He leans over to see Jamie clinging to Casey's chest. "I can't see any freckles on her." He says gently. "Maybe it's your eyes."

Casey runs a hand over Jamie's head. "She does, they said there was no hair here, but they are so thin and red. I have a little redhead." He is delighted with his daughter and does not hide it. "I have a beautiful little red-haired girl."

Voight smiles, only then he reach out his hand and touch Jamie's head."You got."

Jamie releases his beak and coughs, Casey tilts his elbow upwards to help her breathe better. "It's okay, my love, just take it slow." The girl sniffs before grabbing the nipple again. Casey makes a face and closes his eyes for a moment. Voight holds his breath waiting for the omega to react again. "Feels weird." Casey smiles, making Voight breathe a sigh of relief.

The pleasant smell of the room begins to act on Voight and forces him to relax a little more, it is like a powerful drug invading his body, numbing his muscles, tingling under his skin.

"Thanks for being there." Casey whispers to him. "I appreciate what you did for us, Hank."

Voight shakes his head. "I didn't do anything. You did everything yourself, Matt."

"I was scared so I scared Severide too. He's not always like that, just ..." He shrugs without knowing how to explain.

"He just reacted by trying to protect you, that's totally understandable. You did good, Matt."

"I think, I will never be able to enter a burning building again ..." He laments, but there is no sadness in his voice, it is just an observation. "Before I had no one to think about, but now, I am so scared about it."

Voight smiles, he knows that feeling. "You will face fire with twice as much courage. Fear is proportional to courage, and you, my dear fireman, are the personification of courage."

Casey smiles, flushing. "I am more reckless than brave, Hank."

"All reckless act hides a little courage, but you don't need me to say that. Look at this little person in your arms. You kept her, cared for her and brought her here safely, it dispenses with my useless speech"

"No, I'm grateful that you're here, I didn't think I was going to wait to see her. I was serious when I said we could fix things, I want to do this."

Voight rubs his head slowly. "I admire your good intentions, Matt. But I'm just a stupid old man who made more mistakes than can really fix right now. She deserves someone better than me around and, she's safe with you two, I'm in peace about it."

Casey's eyes are full of tears, he blinks quickly trying to wipe them away.

"What are you saying, Hank?" He asks slowly.

Voight sits on the edge of the bed. "That your intentions are more than I really deserve, but I don't have enough faith to believe that something good coming from me, Lieutenant. Be here right now, that's more than I deserve."

"Don't have to be this way, Hank..."

"I can't ask for more than that. Not being part of it, it was my decision. I acted like a coward when you came to me. Severide was there, he's the only father she would have." Voight reaches out and takes a tear from Casey's face. "I'll be around whenever you need me. I got your back, Matt."

"You can see her, Hank. I don't know how we're going to do this, but we can try and ... I'm not going to lie to her."

"I know you don't, just let me know when and I'll be there, Matt. For you, for her, anytime, anywhere."

Jamie leaves Casey's nipple and yawns, she is satisfied. Casey covers the nipple and hands her to Voight. "Here, take her."

"No. I..."

"It's okay, Hank." Casey helps him to hold his daughter, Voight looks awkward, he hasn't had a baby in his arms for years. "See, everything is fine."

Voight is silent looking at Jamie, he even tries to say something, but his voice is choked and stuck in his throat.

Casey settles on the bed, exhausted, he covers himself and watches Voight walk slowly with Jamie in his arms.

"Are you okay?" Voight asks Casey trying to regain control of his own emotions.

"A little broken, actually." Casey smiles, he's almost asleep now. "I could sleep for a few days now."

"Not for the next eighteen years at least, buddy."

"Looking forward for that part of my life." Casey cringes, he's giving up on staying awake. "Do you mind if close my eyes for a while, Hank?"

"No, Jamie and I have things to talk about, so I don't care." 

Casey yawns and closes his eyes. Voight sits in the only armchair in the room, bringing the daughter to his chest. This will possibly be the only chance to hold his little daughter, Severide will not compromise, Voight knows better. The more he think about it, the more he despairs.

"Hi young lady. I'm the guy who didn't want you here, but I was wrong. So wrong." He sinks his nose into his daughter's head, feeling the few strands of hair Casey said, brushing his nose. "I hope you will forgive me one day."

_"You know I care, but I can't be there_  
_To make this unmade bed of roses_  
_And you deserve to be put first_  
_I had to let you go."_

Casey wakes up shortly after feeling his breasts fill, he opens his eyes again and finds Voight sitting by the bed, Jamie silent in his arms. 

"I made a lot of wrong choices, girl, but I'm not here to explain myself." He hears Voight talking. "I wasn't prepared for you, but your dad was, he did the right thing the whole time. I hope one day we can talk about it, Jamie, I'm your dad, but the crazy alpha out there is much better than me." 

Casey remains silent listening.

"He will love and protect you, I have no doubt. And I will be there too, whenever any idiot approaches you I will be there, girl. Your brother, Justin, he was a good boy, I'm sure he would have been better off if I had been there to protect him. Wherever he is, he must be happy to have a sister so beautiful as you, little redhead."

Voight is silent and Casey hears sobs. "I have no right to love you, girl, but... That will be our secret." He places a kiss on Jamie's forehead. "Only ours."

Casey coughs to warn him that he is awake, he sits down slowly making a face in the process. Voight gets up and hands Jamie over to him.

"What did you say to her?"

"Nothing she'll remember at all. You gotta my number, Matt. I'll be close." He leans over and places a kiss on Casey's forehead in the same way he used to do with Justin before leaving the omega's bedroom. 

_"I have no right to love you_  
_But I do..."_

**Author's Note:**

> I'm NOT a weird person. :)


End file.
